Dalrock has yet another post up about the Duluth model called, Setting the record straight on Duluth, in which naturally he does not set the record straight at all.
I am all for talking about things, for open dialog, for questioning everything, but for goodness sakes, you do not just get to invert reality and create one more to your liking.
So, domestic violence is a real thing in the world. Yes, women are certainly abusive and violent, generally in more passive/aggressive ways, but not always. Yes, our culture has set men up because good guys at least, believe they aren’t supposed to fight back. Than we have a whole system that perceives men as primary aggressors, so if there’s any violence, it’s often going to be seen as his fault. Often, but not always. Look at actual DV statistics, we already arrest a whole lot of women. So the narrative that suggests the entire system is rigged against men is not exactly accurate. It is not statistically true either.
Here’s a fact Dalrock, one-third of murdered women are murdered by their intimate partners. One third! The number of murdered men killed by women in domestic violence incidents? 2-3 percent, if that.
Somebody smart once said, “What do men in love fear the most? Disrespect. What do women in love fear the most? Death.” That is a dark and ugly truth, but it is truth. So, women have good reason to fear men. There’s a parade of dead bodies across the nightly news, every single evening. Men too have good reason to fear men, men are the number one homicide victims at the hands of……other men.
Count your blessings, if you’re real lucky, like 2-3% lucky, it might be a woman who kills you. Where is the safest place for a man to be? In a relationship with a woman. Seriously, not only is his health likely to be better, his odds of being murdered decline dramatically. Not so for women, our primary concern in love and romance is not getting ourselves killed or maimed. We may blot it from our minds but it’s always there.
I feel disrespected versus, I feel dead. To quote Sesame Street here Dalrock, yeah, one of these things is just not like the other. When our daughters don’t come home on time what do we fear? Ultimately, their death.
It doesn’t’matter how much you try to make things fair and equal, you simply cannot create harmony and balance where none exists. 90% of violent crime is committed by men. This is reflected in our prison statistics, in our body counts, and in our stats for intimate partner violence. One third of all murdered women are murdered by someone who was supposed to love them. That’s ugly, but it’s the truth.
Dalrock quotes a bit from Duluth, “However, there are other men who batter that don’t believe that their wives or girlfriends should be subservient because of their gender, but they still batter. These men use violence to control their partners because they can and violence works.”
Then he really drives a knife into my heart by saying, “The final bolded part above is the most comical….”
Oh yeah, buddy, it’s down right comical. I mean really, what’s funnier then dead women, right? I’ve certainly enjoyed all the funerals I’ve attended. The most gut wrenching wasn’t that long ago, a girl my daughter’s age left in a shallow grave on the side of the road less than 24 hours after giving birth.
I’m a bit like a wounded soldier, I’ve spent entirely too much time watching the world parade it’s brokenness and despair in front of me. So, so many funerals, so many candlelight vigils, so many orphaned children. Some things are just forever burned into my brain. I don’t want to see them anymore, but they’re all real enough.
They can’t hear me, neither the Dalrockians of the world, nor all the dead women. It’s such a frustrating, powerless place to be. I think I get it now though, they simply perceive their own fear of disrespect as having more value than a woman’s life.
Someone once told me that precise thing, but I didn’t believe them. I didn’t want to. I believe them now.