Cheesy Shorthand….


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So opinions are like…….ears I suppose, everybody has at least two, and therefore opinions should probably be taken with a grain of salt. However, one of my opinions, one of my pet peeves is this cheesy religious shorthand called, “the snare that tripped up our first parents, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life.”

Yes indeed, I have done a great deal of research into the origins of that school of thought and the fertilizer that birthed this particular weed. Much like I do with the dandelions that spring up in my yard, I think we should go about with a tea kettle of hot water so as to rid ourselves of this affliction.

By the way, that is a wonderful life hack. You don’t need chemicals to kill weeds when a bit of boiling water is more than sufficient. You can even dress up like the Mad Hatter and walk about with your tea kettle, holding the tension in one hand, the tension between being kind to the environment, and still delighting in expressing your sadistic side by slowly wilting weeds into non existence.

This cheesy bit of religious shorthand that has tried to reduce the fall of mankind into a tidy color coded theology chart for the masses to consume, just annoys the crap out of me. It’s also not Biblical, as in nowhere in the Bible does it say Eve suffered from “lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, and the pride of life.” That is complete bovine poo! Bovine poo is really good for your  garden too, but I digress.

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We really need to stop being so silly, to stop constantly equating Eve with lust. Eve=lust, Eve=lust, Eve=lust, and then in her pride she got her icky lust all over the rest of us. Ewww, girl cooties! Yep, that’s exactly what that means.  Unless you are a regressed 8 yr old boy building a blanket fort, knock it off. You are simply without excuse. Let go of your foolishness and let the Lord deal with your lady issues.

Our first parents could not possibly have suffered from “lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh, and the pride of life,” because they were created perfect. Sin had not yet entered the world. They had no idea what good and evil even was. Their eyes were not open. They were not yet “woke.” They had no vision to even relate, “pride of life” too. They were not tempted by visions of sugarplums dancing in their heads, they were actually deceived.

They were not seduced by visions of giant marshmallows either, but again I digress. Obviously I have not sadistically wilted enough dandelions today.

I am a firm believer in, “take what you can use and spit out the bones.” There are many flawed and imperfect people in the world, Christian people. Most of them have some kind of gift to give you, some kind of treasure, and often some bones that must be spit out, least you choke on them.

Chew your food carefully,  people.


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