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blogging, culture, faith, fruit, humor, insanitybytes22, men and women, Oscars
I think we should have a bit of fun today, assist the Lord in working all things for our good! I’m laughing here, because not only do I feel qualified to speak on behalf of biology as I did the other day, but I am also a cis gendered, woman-born-woman and therefore totally qualified to speak of man cards. Trust me people, there has been much observation and many clinical, cross referenced, peer reviewed studies. I am a professional.
I speak of course of the Oscars, which I did not watch on account of the fact that I thought they were happening next month which shows you how closely I pay attention to the red carpet.
However, some “kind” soul sent me a video clip of the Will Smith/Chris Rock smackdown. For those blessed to be out of the loop, Will Smith walked up and smacked Chris Rock on stage and told him to keep his wife’s name off his lips.
Ai yi yi. Will Smith would do better to try to keep the look of pity out of his wife Jada’s eyes. He didn’t actually defend her honor, he just embarrassed her even more. Also, she can’t relax, she knows she has a man child to look after.
It was one of those strutting, aggressive, macho displays of toxic masculinity that just bleeds out insecurity, fear, and weakness. It’s the insecurity that is toxic, it’s the fear that is toxic, it’s the shame that is toxic, it’s the taking yourself too seriously that is toxic. It is not the masculinity that is toxic! Smith was feeling small and threatened, so he tried to puff himself up by acting the tough guy.
It was just pouring weakness out all over the floor. It was an emotionally overwrought man who was not feeling powerful. Genuinely powerful people don’t have to have public displays to demonstrate their alleged power. That behavior comes from a deficit of strength, not an abundance of it.
Contrast that with Chris Rock who is completely blindsided and yet he doesn’t react, he responds. He says “wow,” describes what just happened, and makes a quip about great moments in television. He also said something to Smith like “okay,” or “alright” to try to defuse him, calm him down, refuse to engage.
Chris Rock really modeled what self control should look like, how to not be pulled in emotionally to conflict, how to turn the other cheek, and let the show go on. We’ll rubber stamp the renewal on his man card, it was even kind of cool to watch.
I should also mention, everyone in this situation is a total train wreck and they all need Jesus. I feel a bit bad for Will Smith, he just had to give an interview with his wife about the joys of having an open marriage. I watched all of 60 seconds of it before turning away sad and plugging my ears. What made me sad was the body language, how they were talking about how open minded and progressive they were, but the signals were all about being just miserable. Both of them.
Blech. I don’t do very well with double mindedness. It distresses me. You can’t tell me it’s all good and also look like you just want to crawl off and die in a hole. I suffer more just watching that lie play out, then those who have to live it.
Anyway, our pastor really gave a good talk about gentleness being a fruit of the spirit, and it was timely too, because that truth has been on my mind a lot lately.
Gentleness is so not weakness, in fact it takes incredible strength and courage. It’s a fruit of the spirit because I think you really need Jesus, you need the Holy Spirit to pull it off. I think trying to remain gentle in a world gone mad, requires some Divine wisdom and power. It can be incredibly painful, requires another fruit of the spirit, self control, and you just really need to lean into the Lord and do your best.
People tend to think that softness equals weakness, and that is so not true! It’s incredibly challenging to be soft when you are surrounded by a world full of prickly cacti, porcupines, and outright skunks. Just saying. That takes genuine strength, it is so not a job for the faint of heart.
Gentleness is also not weakness, it is evidence that you have enough power and strength in your reserves, to fuel your own self control. Weak people are dangerous people.
I really am all about power, how to find yours, how to access more of it, how to be worthy to carry it, because powerful people are people who are easy to get along with. So perhaps it’s a bit self serving of me, but I really do want to see more people who understand this dynamic, walking about in my world. I’m tired of trying to sidestep the fearful, the insecure, the anxiety ridden, the wannabe tough guys, and the middle school mean girls, some who we have actually gone and elected into public office.
Men and women! Sheesh! Never give people power over others, when they haven’t even got power over themselves. One of my favorite Proverbs in 25:28, “He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.”
That is the state of Will Smith right now, and that is also the state of our country overall. A broken down city without walls is vulnerable, chaotic, and crazy. Men, women, many of us, seem kind of confused about what power really is and not too strong with the fruit of gentleness and self control.
Two Christians can set the temperature in an entire room full of sixty half crazy people, when they are fully armed with nothing more then self control and gentleness. True story, I’ve seen it happen. It is powerful.
I keep saying this, but it is past time for us to stop looking at all that is wrong with the world, wrong with our country, and start setting the thermostat. We need to just start being what is right about the world and leading the way.
The V Pub said:
What a trainwreck. This is the stuff of Morton Downey Jr. and Jerry Springer. I’m so done with the self-aggrandizing ‘academy’. I think that Chris Rock handled the situation as well as one could expect. I just wonder if Will Smith would have done the same thing if the host was Joe Rogan.
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insanitybytes22 said:
LOL! You make a really good point about Joe Rogan. I used to make more excuses about people’s behavior, about how they can’t always control it. Ha, but of course, they can show instant self control when facing someone like Joe Rogan! Suddenly reason kicks in, which kind of makes me laugh.
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Tricia said:
What a great way to look at things IB. It’s sad to see Will Smith’s fall in to such insecurity and anger. I always admired the way he excelled in so many areas; a teenage TV star (Fresh Prince), popular singer and eventually a great actor with a good and fun attitude in my opinion. The Oscar slap heard around the world really was pathetic, amusing as it was.
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insanitybytes22 said:
I’ve enjoyed watching his success too, Tricia! It’s kind of sad seeing him get caught up in the culture and in relationship dysfunction.
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Lisa V said:
I think Will Smith may be headed the way of Alec Baldwin. I think it’s safe to say that he won’t be getting a celebrity roast anytime soon. I like your comparison to the city: A broken down city without walls is vulnerable, chaotic, and crazy. But on a lighter note, some of the memes referencing the “Fresh Prince” song have been pretty funny. This world is truly headed toward chaos. Thank God we can set our eyes on Jesus. I missed all the “excitement” of the Oscars too. Since moving away from California, it’s nice to not have celebrity be the center of everything.
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Randy Epps said:
Chris Rock, when he was in the dressing room afterward, reportedly said something about surviving a punch from Muhammed Ali.
After the punch he handled the discomfort of the situation with amazing self control.
I may become a fan. . . But probably not.
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insanitybytes22 said:
LOL! Comedians tend to take a lot of hits, hopefully not the literal kind, but there is a lesson in their about building resilience and good character, and not taking yourself so seriously.
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irtfyblog said:
Great Post, IB! however, you never mentioned anything about how hollywood MIGHT have staged this whole thing to increase ratings for the oscars in the future. I know that seems strange, but the whole thing didn’t seem fluid from my vantage point…Regardless if it was staged or not, the actions of those who are living in a briar patch are revealing the wounds and scars that come from that lifestyle. It’s not pretty, and you’re absolutely correct that these people need Jesus and the Holy Spirit to live lives free from that bondage. Keep preaching the truth of the gospel of Jesus and stay the course!! 🙂
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insanitybytes22 said:
No, you’re quite right, I wondered if it was staged myself! A bit amusing but a whole lot of us would never have even known the Oscars where going on if it weren’t for that slap fest. I have yet to bump into a single person who was even watching it. Now that there’s some drama, we all stop to look. It would be some brilliant marketing.
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jsneese62 said:
I agree with much of what you said IB, but I saw the slap a bit differently ans I am not condoning what he did. When I saw it I watched his face closely and though he was laughing at first his face was almost instantly red which told me it was not a laugh of humor at all. You see my first husband would do the same thing right before coming after me. It is a laugh of Oh no you didn’t just do or say that. I feel Will Smith is a very frustrated man that he loves Jada so much he is willing to go along with most anything to keep her even if it tears out his very soul.
What a horrible place to be and you are right everyone of them need Jesus. Chris Rock was simply shocked as anyone would be. You could see it in his face when Will Smith walked away the man was near tears. This was just one symptom of several greater issues that have been brewing in this country and abroad for decades. Like boys aren’t allowed to cry, they have to be macho, and be ready to fight someone at a moments notice to prove they have a right to hold that man-card.
Then you have these crazy feminist women screaming toxic masculinity all over the place I am sure the average man is completely confused one whether they are suppose to pet a Llama, carry a man-bag, or smack a guy in the head. I would say none of the above, but hey who am I am? Just a boomer trying to get out of this world with a half a brain cell intact Chris Rock took the brunt end of Will Smith’s frustrations over allowing an open marriage with Jada. He has probably been wanting to hit someone for a long time and Chris Rock was the safest.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Good point about Will Smith probably wanting to hit someone for a long time and Chris Rock being the safest.
I think you’re right about how, “he loves Jada so much he is willing to go along with most anything to keep her even if it tears out his very soul.” I empathize with that suffering, but over and over again the Lord has taught me to place Him first, and never let a person occupy that role. God is not being “mean” when He says He is a jealous God, He’s trying to teach us how to put our passions in the right order, so as to prevent and alleviate our own suffering. Ironically, tearing out your own soul for another person, is really unhealthy and tends to drive them away.
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jsneese62 said:
This very well may sound cruel on my part, but it is how I feel. In 2015 just two years into my relationship with my man we hit a really rough patch and after the worst was over I sat him down and we had a heart to heart about loving someone to much. I told him I love him and if someone tried to kill him I would step in their path for him, but he cannot have my soul because it belongs to another. I told him if he left me it would hurt there would be tears for a bit, but it would not break me. I love no human enough to break my soul and he understood that I meant God owns my soul and He is the only one that can break me.
My daughter went nearly six years without speaking to me and I did not chase her because it was her choice. I chase no one if they don’t want to be apart of my life it will hurt for awhile, but I will move on. Will Smith has invested far to much into this woman and now he suffers for it and yet still will not let go and you are right eventually it will drive her away and he will be left completely broken.
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freemattpodcast said:
Jada had no honor left to defend. Will was wrong because of that. Chris Rock? Dumb joke and low but could have been handled in private. Much like “will.i.am” and Perez Hilton in the elevator
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insanitybytes22 said:
A bit funny, I didn’t even get the offense. I mean, GI Jane was played by Demi Moore and she was kind of gorgeous, even with a bald head. Shows you how my mind works. Go ahead, compare me to Demi Moore. 🙂
I think Jada’s alleged “honor” is really symbolic of what’s wrong with our world right now. They just did this humiliating and inappropriate interview about their open marriage, and that’s not embarrassing, that’s not shameful, it’s the jokes about her hair that matter. Our priorities are all skewed.
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freemattpodcast said:
Funny, I was stationed near where the filmed part of GI Jane
I was more of a Striptease fan. Her and Burt Reynolds made it funny.
Yes, airing your own dirty laundry puzzles me.
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Michael Wilson said:
This is it! “We need to just start being what is right about the world and leading the way.”
Shalom!
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insanitybytes22 said:
Amen, Michael! It is so not easy, but we’re supposed to set the temperature, light the way. God already knows the world is mad.
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dumbestblogger said:
I tend to think that everything at the Oscars is rehearsed, but why would you script something so boring?
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SLIMJIM said:
I kind of think this was staged; but I digress. Good post. DIdn’t think of Chris Rock as being controlled until you noted it, though the joke was inappropriate (and the hit by Will was worst).
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