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I think we should have a bit of fun today, assist the Lord in working all things for our good! I’m laughing here, because not only do I feel qualified to speak on behalf of biology as I did the other day, but I am also a cis gendered, woman-born-woman and therefore totally qualified to speak of man cards. Trust me people, there has been much observation and many clinical, cross referenced, peer reviewed studies. I am a professional.

I speak of course of the Oscars, which I did not watch on account of the fact that I thought they were happening next month which shows you how closely I pay attention to the red carpet.

However, some “kind” soul sent me a video clip of the Will Smith/Chris Rock smackdown. For those blessed to be out of the loop, Will Smith walked up and smacked Chris Rock on stage and told him to keep his wife’s name off his lips.

Ai yi yi. Will Smith would do better to try to keep the look of pity out of his wife Jada’s eyes. He didn’t actually defend her honor, he just embarrassed her even more. Also, she can’t relax, she knows she has a man child to look after.

It was one of those strutting, aggressive, macho displays of toxic masculinity that just bleeds out insecurity, fear, and weakness. It’s the insecurity that is toxic, it’s the fear that is toxic, it’s the shame that is toxic, it’s the taking yourself too seriously that is toxic. It is not the masculinity that is toxic! Smith was feeling small and threatened, so he tried to puff himself up by acting the tough guy.

It was just pouring weakness out all over the floor. It was an emotionally overwrought man who was not feeling powerful. Genuinely powerful people don’t have to have public displays to demonstrate their alleged power. That behavior comes from a deficit of strength, not an abundance of it.

Contrast that with Chris Rock who is completely blindsided and yet he doesn’t react, he responds. He says “wow,” describes what just happened, and makes a quip about great moments in television. He also said something to Smith like “okay,” or “alright” to try to defuse him, calm him down, refuse to engage.

Chris Rock really modeled what self control should look like, how to not be pulled in emotionally to conflict, how to turn the other cheek, and let the show go on. We’ll rubber stamp the renewal on his man card, it was even kind of cool to watch.

I should also mention, everyone in this situation is a total train wreck and they all need Jesus. I feel a bit bad for Will Smith, he just had to give an interview with his wife about the joys of having an open marriage. I watched all of 60 seconds of it before turning away sad and plugging my ears. What made me sad was the body language, how they were talking about how open minded and progressive they were, but the signals were all about being just miserable. Both of them.

Blech. I don’t do very well with double mindedness. It distresses me. You can’t tell me it’s all good and also look like you just want to crawl off and die in a hole. I suffer more just watching that lie play out, then those who have to live it.

Anyway, our pastor really gave a good talk about gentleness being a fruit of the spirit, and it was timely too, because that truth has been on my mind a lot lately.

Gentleness is so not weakness, in fact it takes incredible strength and courage. It’s a fruit of the spirit because I think you really need Jesus, you need the Holy Spirit to pull it off. I think trying to remain gentle in a world gone mad, requires some Divine wisdom and power. It can be incredibly painful, requires another fruit of the spirit, self control, and you just really need to lean into the Lord and do your best.

People tend to think that softness equals weakness, and that is so not true! It’s incredibly challenging to be soft when you are surrounded by a world full of prickly cacti, porcupines, and outright skunks. Just saying. That takes genuine strength, it is so not a job for the faint of heart.

Gentleness is also not weakness, it is evidence that you have enough power and strength in your reserves, to fuel your own self control. Weak people are dangerous people.

I really am all about power, how to find yours, how to access more of it, how to be worthy to carry it, because powerful people are people who are easy to get along with. So perhaps it’s a bit self serving of me, but I really do want to see more people who understand this dynamic, walking about in my world. I’m tired of trying to sidestep the fearful, the insecure, the anxiety ridden, the wannabe tough guys, and the middle school mean girls, some who we have actually gone and elected into public office.

Men and women! Sheesh! Never give people power over others, when they haven’t even got power over themselves. One of my favorite Proverbs in 25:28, “He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.”

That is the state of Will Smith right now, and that is also the state of our country overall. A broken down city without walls is vulnerable, chaotic, and crazy. Men, women, many of us, seem kind of confused about what power really is and not too strong with the fruit of gentleness and self control.

Two Christians can set the temperature in an entire room full of sixty half crazy people, when they are fully armed with nothing more then self control and gentleness. True story, I’ve seen it happen. It is powerful.

I keep saying this, but it is past time for us to stop looking at all that is wrong with the world, wrong with our country, and start setting the thermostat. We need to just start being what is right about the world and leading the way.