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Sometimes I think we forget that “sorry” is not a magic word like “please” and “thank you.” Sometimes people act as if it is, as if we are playing a game of Simon says or something, following rules rather than common sense. Oh shoot, you said the magic word and now I’m mandated to forgive and forget!
Alcoholics are always sorry…… for about 3 hours. Domestic violence perps, so, so sorry. Addicts, sorry, I’ll never use drugs again! Wash, rinse, repeat. People being booked into jail, really, really sorry. A guy once stepped on my toe said sorry, and did it again until I got the point. I got the point. Then I stomped on his toe.
No, I am not required to forgive an alcoholic 70 times 70 because Jesus said judge not and turn the other cheek. That’s rubbish. I am however, required to find a way to put away all my OWN wrath, bitterness, resentment, whatever I may have allowed to fester within me because of said person.
Sorry means sorrow, to be sore of heart. There are many reasons why one might experience sorrow, most of them usually self-inflicted. Sorrow is not repentance, but being sore of heart can sometimes lead people to repentance, to metanoia, literally “a change of heart.”
Asking for forgiveness is another way people sometimes say “sorry.” Asking people for forgiveness is also not a magic word. In fact, it can even be manipulative, abusive, and controlling. People are not looking for a metanoia, a change of heart, they are attempting use you as their substitutionary repentance and grace. Point them to Christ.
I never ask anyone for repentance nor do I ever repent to anyone. It has to do with lines of authority. I do not have the authority to forgive sins. Neither do you. Only Jesus Christ does. Acts 10:43 says, “To him all the prophets bear witness that everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name.”
Through His name and His name only.
If someone says, “can you ever forgive me for my sin?” Actually, no. I cannot. I am not authorized to do so. But you can apologize for getting your sin all over me, if you like. Forgiveness and mercy are about the condition of one’s own heart, not the forgiveness of other people’s sins for them. That would be substitutionary repentance and grace. Nothing but the blood of Christ washes away sin.
The Lord’s prayer says, “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” We recognize the grace we ourselves have received and forgive those who trespass upon us with their own mess. We are not granting anyone else forgiveness of sins. We are recognizing that we sin against God Himself, so we are merciful of those who do the same. Grace has a very reflective nature to it.
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. -Ephesians 4:32
Not only do we not have the authority to grant grace, redemption, metanaoia, for other people’s sins, we lack the ability to prevent them from suffering the consequences of their own sin. We are not committing the sin of unforgiveness by filing a police report or asking for justice. It is not virtuous or moral to demand people ignore evil and deny justice.
People don’t actually sin against us, they sin against God. We do not sin against other people, we sin against God. It is His forgiveness we need, His grace, His redemption.
“Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little.” -Like 7:47
Grace is actually unmerited favor, meaning it is not owed to anyone, no one is worthy of it, no one is entitled to it, saying magic words does not earn it, nor is grace a guarantee we will not suffer any consequence from sin. You can be deeply loved, saved, forgiven, highly favored even, but you can still wind up bankrupt, divorced, unemployed, or in jail.
See, there's this thing called biology... 
I know from whence this came, and from what country. 😉
Am I wrong to think that somewhere in the mix of forgiveness, there is evidence of a broken spirit and a contrite heart…….things which are generally missing and even worse, not even mentioned……
An act of contrition is not saying ‘sorry I spilled ketchup on your shoes………..’ The poor guy or woman beat their breast, and could not even look heaven ward………..
I know I know, there is the Pharisee issue, but there is a difference. Heck Lord, I’m worse than the Pharisee. And in this admission, we have opened the windows of heaven for a blessing, not to get something, but because it is right.
(btw msbytes, nice bookends, with the ‘magic’ word, and the ‘doormat pic’)
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A broken spirit and a contrite heart, a change of heart, a transformation. Exactly! That’s grace, that’s the power of the Lord,not us.
I think we need caution there too though, because we’re supposed to be loving people right where they’re at. Jesus broke bread with Judas and told Peter you’ll deny me 3 times. He didn’t demand they repent and change who they were. The mystery in there is eventually there were two contrite hearts who responded in two different ways. So in theory we hold people in a state of forgiveness,a state of grace all the time. The work of the cross is done, it is theirs.
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I’m smiling somewhat, denying the Lord 3x. Is that all? Heck, I got that 70×7 thing wrapped up in a thousand different ways.
Whew. Thank God for grace eh.
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This is an incredibly insightful post!
I have often felt that when people tell me they are sorry, they are actually doing so to make themselves feel better.
If they actually cared about me, they wouldn’t have done what they did in the first place.
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True, Silence.
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Person shows up without shoes and no shirt, at a five star restaurant that requires a coat and tie.
Him: “I’m sorry I’m not properly dressed.”
Hostess: “Okay…could you please step out now, tie is required to eat and you don’t have a shirt on.”
Him: “But I said I was sorry….you need to seat me now…I pray thee, think about the implications of holding my shirtless shoeless state against me after I’ve asked your forgiveness…”
Never been a fan of the short bus policy for Christians. God gave us a functioning frontal lobe because he intended us to use it.
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Oh, a functioning frontal lobe, I like that! Precisely.
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Great post. We all need to hear that grace is unconditional love – which only God can dispense.
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Amen!
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I know you know this, but forgiving others is not really about them at all… They don’t even have to say they are sorry for us to forgive them for getting their sloppiness all over us. The problem with not forgiving someone is that we allow them to hold dominion over us. They have just become our idol – our focus.
You are so right about us not being able to forgive the actual sins of another. Jesus took care of that on the cross…
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Amen! Glad you cleared this up. Now lock her up. Otherwise, she’ll keep pushing the boundaries. If I remember, she never apologized for loudly wishing for Sarah Palin to be gang rapped and mentioned the race of who she wanted to do this. She’s a terrible human being. And YES, we do need to pray for her. I think the only way she will be brought to the needed sore heart is to feel the handcuffs.
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You tell ’em. 🙂
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Very good. Being sorry and being repentant are two very different things, as you pointed out.
There’s also a bit of confusion about forgiveness because we mix it in with forgiveness of sins, which only God can do. Forgiveness, for us, is simply letting go of the offense and giving it to God. It doesn’t condone the behavior or even let the offender off the hook. They are still responsible to make it right in the relationship. And if it’s beyond their power to make it right, we can also extend grace and mercy. But that’s not forgiveness. that’s forbearance.
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Oh, forbearance! I like that, good word. 🙂
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While I fully understand your points and concur that they qualify as sound doctrine according to the strictest rules of theology, the WORD of God is a double-edged sword – allow me to offer a glimpse of what the other edge uses to balance this equation.
“Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All AUTHORITY has been given to Me in heaven and on earth” – Mt. 28:18.
“He called His twelve disciples together & gave them power and AUTHORITY over all demons, & to cure diseases” – Lk. 9:1.
“Do you not believe that I am in the Father, and the Father in Me? The words that I speak to you I do not speak on My own AUTHORITY; but the Father who dwells in Me does the works” – Jn. 14:10.
“However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own AUTHORITY, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come” – Jn. 16:13.
“For even if I should boast somewhat more about our AUTHORITY, which the Lord gave us for edification and not for your destruction, I shall not be ashamed” – 2Cor. 10:8.
“Speak these things, exhort, and rebuke with all AUTHORITY. Let no one despise you” – Titus 2:15.
Born again believers have been given AUTHORITY to proclaim the WORD of God as intended by God. It is through God the Holy Spirit (dwelling in believers) that the very works of God may be manifest in our physical realm. It is ALWAYS God doing the work, but under anointing of the Holy Spirit within, believers are duly appointed agents of God, ministering His grace and FORGIVENESS.
“Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, FORGIVE him” – Lk. 17:3.
“If you FORGIVE the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” – Jn. 20:23.
Born again believers have been given AUTHORITY of God to FORGIVE sins, provided they are conformed to the image of Christ, following the Holy Spirit and NOT their flesh. Sadly this doctrine has been misunderstood and widely abused. Roman Catholicism, for example, teaches that their ordained priests ALONE have been granted AUTHORITY to FORGIVE sins. But Scripture declares ALL born again believers are PRIESTS and have been given such AUTHORITY.
“To Him [Jesus Christ] who loved us and washed us from our sins in His own blood, and has made us kings and PRIESTS to His God and Father, to Him be glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen” – Rev. 1:5, 6.
“You are a chosen generation, a royal PRIESTHOOD, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light” – 1Pt. 2:9.
Called by God as agents of His Grace and mercy, we have been given an awesome privilege and responsibility to proclaim the Gospel to introduce the FORGIVENESS of God in Jesus Christ. There can be no greater COMFORT to a sinner destined for destruction than to receive FORGIVENESS. Yes, FORGIVENESS comes from God ALONE, but He has made true believers to be a proper conduit through which His grace and FORGIVENESS flows.
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all COMFORT, who COMFORTS us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to COMFORT those who are in any trouble, with the same COMFORT with which we ourselves are COMFORTED by God” – 2Cor. 1:3, 4.
…and that’s the rest of the story.
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Interesting,MJ! I think we’ve finally found a major point of disagreement. That’s a pretty good track record. 🙂
“But Scripture declares ALL born again believers are PRIESTS and have been given such AUTHORITY.”
Your interpretation sounds very Catholic to me. You have simply shifted it over to “we are all priests.” We do not have the authority to forgive sin. We have the authority to preach ABOUT the forgiveness of sins. There’s a distinct difference there that we need to be very careful of.
Not sure if you’re familiar with Mars Hill, Mark Driscoll, but he built a pretty big mega church in these parts and left a wake of destruction in his path before finally resigning. He believed we had that authority too, and pretty much set himself up as the arbitrator of who received grace and who does not. He had people repenting to one another all the time. The problem is Christ is always the head of the church, He is always your Higher Authority. When people place themselves in that position it never ends well, it always creates this cultian, closed system.
We are to be conduits of grace and mercy ourselves, reflections of the grace WE have received. We are not to be the gatekeepers of other people’s access to the Lord. That’s what always happens,too.
James 5:16 says, “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”
Any confessing of sins we are doing with one another is for the purpose of healing and corporate prayer, not repentance. If we had the authority ourselves,we would have no need to pray for one another.
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Amen IB, well said!
Though God alone knows what is in anyone’s heart, His seemingly endless supply of mercy and grace makes any preaching or teaching about His forgiveness even possible. Loved the way you describe the difference between “I’m sorry” and the sore of heart. I heard the term “counterfeit repentace” used in reference to the heart that may feel bad yet after “I’m sorry” is uttered, the heart and life remain unchanged. You’re right, restitution that leaves out Jesus and the Cross leaves a mess.
Sin-confession-apology-which vows, “I’ll never do it again…. ‘I’m sorry but at least I’m honest about it” can become as desirable to the ears as nails on the chalkboard. Acknowledgement of sin without repentance of sin. Repentance does tend to silence blame…”Yes, but it’s their fault I did it…but it wouldn’t have happened if…” Repentance opens blind eyes and redirects the heart’s gaze from looking only at those who seem to have done “something worse”, finding consolation: “At least I didn’t do that; at least I’m not as bad as…” to the holiness of Jesus. Its a comparison killer every time! As for the well worn excuses that seem worthy to justify, “Yes, but…I had a rough upbringing, my dad left us, everyone else does it…” hinders the heart from being made new from the One who understands each and every injustice. Sees every tear. Longs to set free.
Thanks again IB!
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IB – I do NOT think we disagree. As my post stated “I fully understand your points and concur that they qualify as sound doctrine according to the strictest rules of theology,” I fully renounced Catholicism over 40 years ago, so I’m very sure that my embracing the ‘royal priesthood’ alluded to in 1Pt. 2:9 is NOT as you say “simply shifted it over to “we are all priests.” It is what Scripture clearly says, and I certainly DO NOT endorse ANY doctrine supporting Catholic ritual, ceremony, or sacrament.
Furthermore, regarding the AUTHORITY issue – You said, “We do not have the authority to forgive sin. We have the authority to preach ABOUT the forgiveness of sins”. Did you prayerfully consider ALL the Scripture references I gave relative to my assertions?
How else can we understand and accept the words of Christ when He said, “If you FORGIVE the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” – Jn. 20:23? HE said if “YOU’ forgive. He did NOT say if ‘GOD” forgives. The very moniker by which true believers are known in this world (Christian) literally means, “little Christ”. Believers have been given AUTHORITY by Christ to FORGIVE sins, provided they are conformed to the image of Christ, and are following the Holy Spirit and NOT their flesh.
Indeed there are many who are NOT true believers, but masquerade as such. They are as Jesus warned – “For many will come in My name, saying, ‘I am He,’ and will deceive many” – Mk. 13:6. But this must NEVER cripple the ministry of TRUE BELIEVERS. For unto THEM Jesus has promised –
“Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do HE WILL DO ALSO; and GREATER works than these he will do, because I go to My Father. And WHATSOEVER YOU ASK IN MY NAME, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My name, I will do it” – Jn. 14:12-14. WE ASK FOR FORGIVENESS, JESUS grants it. God in Christ approves the action. It is God forgiving, but it is manifest through true believers.
“For it is God who works IN YOU both to will and to do for His good pleasure” – Phil. 2:13.
Rather than allowing semantics to cloud the real point I’m making, it is GOD ALONE who ultimately determines FORGIVENESS, when HE ALONE shall judge both the living and the dead. I’m Not saying ANY true believer is capable to FORGIVE ‘sins unto death’, merely the ‘sins’ against them.
“If any man see his brother sin a sin which is not unto death, he shall ask, and he shall give him life for them that sin not unto death. There is a sin unto death: I do not say that he shall pray for it” – 1Jn. 5:16.
The topic of SIN is widely revealed throughout ALL Scripture. There are many types of SIN, and various remedies for certain types. I researched this for several years, adding edit to my original findings several times. Based upon my present conclusions, FORGIVENESS is proportional to the type of specific SIN. A full explanation is available @ /mjthompsons.wordpress.com/2017/05/09/sin/
SIN that eternally separates us from God – of course, can only be FORGIVEN by God in Christ. But NOT ALL SIN, has such eternal consequence (the sin unto death). Lesser offenses (sins) can be FORGIVEN by true believers in the properly evoked name of Christ. Peace!
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A hydrogen atom has less mass than the combined masses of the proton and the electron that make it up.
Wanna know why?❤
Click here
https://doyleexplains.wordpress.com/2017/06/02/special-relativity-understanding-the-revealed-secret-mec2%F0%9F%97%AF/
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Well…that didn’t take long. Now Kathy Griffin is asserting the Trump is a bully and her career shouldn’t be impacted and “free speech” and all that. Apparently she does not understand the difference between free speech and consequence-free speech in the free market.
Very sincere indeed.
She also seems surprised that the Secret Service has contacted her. Perhaps she does not understand that followups are required when someone reports a threat. In this case a great number of people reported her to the Secret Service. The taxpayers should demand their money back, from Ms Griffin, for this needless waste of resources.
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