Tags
faith, humor, insanitybytes22, marriage, opinion, relationship
And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God. -Mark 10:18
I really love that verse. I actually have an issue, a trigger with those who call themselves “good,” especially guys, so Jesus Christ’s words there are like balm for my soul, almost as if they were written just for me. Very sweet.
I grew up under atheism and one of the issues is that they sometimes believe people are good, our empathy gene, our reason, makes us moral. You take that mindset out into the real world with you where people are acting like, well “people,” and it creates this kind of cognitive dissonance. You encounter greed, envy, malice, and you blame yourself, you think you’re perceiving reality wrong, you blame the culture. You blame anything but “sin” because “sin” doesn’t exist.
One of those guys who did not think he was good, once saved me from a whole lot of future misery. I spouted the standard line, “all people are just good people who sometimes do bad things,” and he laughed outright. No, they’re all totally depraved, deeply perverse, self-absorbed, and they do bad things because they enjoy it…..
Whoah! It was a totally different mindset, but it began to make a certain amount of sense. I could look back and go, oh yes, now I understand, that wasn’t me at all, that was just someone’s envy permeating the whole situation. Suddenly I could see sin very clearly and it wasn’t always my own, in fact, it frequently wasn’t me at all.
I sometimes joke about how awesome it was, how wonderful to discover…. the total depravity of mankind. Really funny, because just thinking about something so awful is enough to put a smile on my face today. It’s not the sin state of mankind that makes me laugh, but the beauty of the Truth and how it makes all the puzzle pieces start to fit together.
I actually went on to marry a guy who did not believe he was good either. What a blessing that has been. He’s rather honest and unapologetic about it, without much guile at all. So he was two hours late for dinner once and I demanded to know why he didn’t think of my feelings. So he quite innocently said, “I wasn’t thinking of your feelings at all. I didn’t care. I was busy enjoying myself.”
Ha! That’s really appalling if you think about it, but it didn’t feel that way at all. It felt emotionally validating. Honest. Vulnerable. I already knew he didn’t care about my feelings at the time or he would have been there. It’s kind of funny, but that is exactly what I needed to hear. Not an apology even, but just an acknowledgment, like, “oh yeah, I was being a jerk.” Soooo, so validating.
Defensiveness, excuses, apologies, explanations, these things all feel very crazy making to me. I don’t respond well to them. I like the truth. In fact, the truth said with some humility and honesty is enough to melt my heart. I can empathize with being a jerk. A jerk is a totally understandable part of the human condition. Completely forgivable. You’re a jerk…. awesome, I’m a jerk too sometimes. Now see, this is a match made in heaven. We should become BFF’s. That really is how my brain works.
My marriage would not have survived two minutes if I had married a guy who thought he was good. I know this because today in bloggerville in about four different places I’ve encountered the Guys Who Think They Are Good, and I just want to put them all in my giant catapult and fling them off the planet….
See, there's this thing called biology... 
IB, I have always heard of this scripture in the way you present it. It is definitely true confirmed by many other scriptures especially Paul’s writings. However, one day I was studying scriptures in which Jesus presented himself as God (as a trinity) when it dawned on me that Jesus is using this scripture in that way. He really means “Why do you call me good, there is none good except God” does that not mean then that he is saying he is God. I don’t believe he meant he was not good. Jesus was good; he did not have a sinful nature as man does. What do you think? Anyway you have lots of readers and I would like some discussion of said issue. Do you mind if I chase a rabbit on your blog? 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love rabbit holes! Chase away 🙂
I believe both things are actually true at the same time. Jesus never praised Himself, always stayed humble, never called Himself good, but always pointed to the Father. I think He meant that as an example for us, as a model for us to emulate. But the scripture does also point us to the Divinity of Christ, just as you said. Jesus is good, indeed, but even He reminds us to not look just to the man Himself, but up higher.
LikeLiked by 1 person
More of your gallows humor there at the end? Great post as usual
LikeLiked by 1 person
I too like the truth, whether it’s what we want to hear or were expecting to hear. It’s refreshing sometimes!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t get it…I thought God alone was good. Why are there “Guys who think they are good”? It doesn’t make sense…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Surely you’re not asking me to explain why guys make absolutely no sense??
Pride. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Woman make absolutely no sense…
LikeLike
I know, right?
Pride. 🙂
I have to say however, I think men are much better at it. 😉
LikeLike
Witch. Now we’re gonna have to burn ya at the stake.
LikeLike
You’ll have to take a number and wait in line. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
sorry…i should have reviewed that vid before posting it…
LikeLike
this is clean.
LikeLike
There is something liberating about acknowledging both your own and others. It’s not a license to do whatever, but it sure does help when you or your partner or both of you fail.
Is there room in your catapult? I’ve got a few others I’d like to fling off the planet as well…;)
LikeLiked by 3 people
Acknowledging your depravity I meant…
LikeLike
My favorite secular writer is Ayn Rand and if Ayn were a Christian she might have written a post much like this one. I too like accepting ourselves for what we are the way Ayn did but I also, like knowing Jesus and being able to enjoy what He bought for us along with the hope of someday, being much different from the jerk I am in this life. This is my convoluted way of saying I really enjoyed this post.:0)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Okay, this is a nice little doctrinal can of worms, IB. 🙂 The doctrine of total depravity is a pet peeve of mine. Let me ‘splain myself. First, I DO agree with what you’re saying about the prideful, arrogant types. They’re not “all that.” Humility and honesty is always better.
While I don’t believe in the “doctrine of total depravity” (except for the devil and his angels), I DO believe we are broken and fallen people apart from Christ. So, in that sense, we’re not good. But unbelievers CAN do good things all the time and we should acknowledge that.The problem with “total depravity” as a doctrine is that we end up insulting people when they are going good things by telling them it’s not good because they’re not “Christians.” I don’t see Christ doing this. And it was not His point.
I also do agree with you, Jesus was posing this question to a self-righteous person who did think he was “all that.” So it would be appropriate for us to tell someone that all their good deeds won’t save them. Our “goodness” is not a condition for salvation; it’s faith in HIS goodness that saves us.
But to my peeve, I don’t think Jesus would’ve said the same thing to an unbelieving single mom sacrificing for her kids. When we call her “depraved” I think we’re insulting the good she is doing, and that God put in her. In my mind it’s better to say that the “good” they’re doing comes from God (James 1:17), and then invite them to know this God.
The other side of that, I see a lot of prideful, selfishness, greedy, and “depraved” behavior coming from professing Christians, so we end up coming across as hypocritical (which it is) when we tell sinners they can do no good. Goodness won’t save us, but we’re not totally depraved; we’re broken. And because we’re broken we like darkness and have developed Stockholm Syndrome with our captors. Only Jesus can fix that problem (if we will let Him). 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
“I see a lot of prideful, selfishness, greedy, and “depraved” behavior coming from professing Christians…”
I hear you, Mel. That has got to be the most horrific thing I’ve ever seen in my life and that’s saying something. I had no idea how really bad it was untiI I went on the intertoobz. Wowzers, it’s astoundingly evil! I too have seen single moms attacked and persecuted by so called “Christians” on more than one occasion. I’ve seen every imaginable form of abuse appear to be justified in Christ’s name. I’ve seen some appalling things directed towards women in general.
I really do have some Calvinist leanings when it comes to doctrine, but yes, I sure do see how those things are misused,directed at the wrong targets, wielded like a weapon rather then a tool for understanding. Theology without love is nothing, or worse than nothing really. Clanging gongs, mindless noise.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I totally agree with that, IB. 🙂 To be clear, I totally agree with your point, and the points you make here. I was reacting (in general) to how the “total depravity” pitch is misused by some well-meaning but insulting Christians. In my view, they risk actually driving people away from Christ who might otherwise be open. We can’t win them and insult them at the same time.
And to be fair to Calvin, I think the point he was actually making, that Jesus and Paul were making, and what I think we can all agree on, is that no one is good enough to be saved. Our good deeds are not a consideration for salvation. No matter how good we are, we’re not good enough. We all fall short somewhere. Only God is righteous, which is why He gives us His when we believe! (2 Cor.5:21)
But it’s quite a different thing to say that nothing anyone does is good. That’s where we take it too far, over-exaggerating the truth for effect. And that’s where I get peeved with followers of Calvin who misuse the doctrine. Every good thing comes from God, whether the person knows it’s from Him or not. Good is good, no matter who’s doing it. It just won’t save us. As I said, we’re better off acknowledging that good thing in them, using it as a springboard to lead them to Christ.
LikeLiked by 1 person