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blogging, conflict, culture, disagreement, faith, forgiveness, hope, insanitybytes22, love
Disagreement is good, healthy, it’s a symptom of a strong and secure system. Not to be confused with being disagreeable, which is something else entirely. It does not mean we hate one another. In fact, the precise opposite. Where there is no disagreement, there is not going to be any love either. Disagreement does not mean we now withdraw all respect and future affection to punish the bad thinker.
I have actually disagreed with God Himself on several occasions. He did not withdraw His affection and favor. I probably don’t need to say it, but God is always right, so it’s not as if my disagreement was justified. That doesn’t mean we have to agree with Him or He won’t love us anymore. Not suggesting anyone disagree with God, I’m just saying it happens and when it does, He does not love us any less because of it.
We really need to model our human relationships and interactions in the same manner. It’s a real problem in the world and I see it creating havoc in so many areas of our lives. Politics, marriage, faith, relationships. Not only is there an incredible lack of grace in the world, but also a lack of forgiveness, and a lack of trust.
You see this in the way people are offended these days by just about everything. Where there is prompt offense, there is also little forgiveness and grace active in people’s lives. They perceive anything that offends them as a personal attack, salt on a wound. It’s not that they need to be more forgiving, it’s that they need to be more forgiven. Not by other people, because we’re not the One who can fix that.
That is how grace works, it’s a very reflective thing. So if you are prone to offense, you don’t need a lecture on how to be more forgiving, you need to be more forgiven yourself.
If you fear disagreement because you fear people will with hold their love and affection, you don’t need to be told not to disagree, you need to avail yourself of more love. Because people are going to people, it’s almost a given that someone will behave poorly or has in the past. When we fear people will withdraw their affection, it’s because we have a scarcity. In Christ Jesus there are no scarcities. His love is abundant and over flowing.
People get cranky with me about this sometimes, but when there is an abundance of sin in the world all around you, how do you stop it, how do you control it? How do you convince people it’s wrong? You don’t, you forgive it. If the sin of the world is giving you grief, you don’t need to fix it, you need to be more forgiven. The more forgiven you are yourself, the more grace and peace you will have no matter what is going on all around you.
When the sin of the world presses down upon you, it is not the world that needs to change.
All in good humor here, but least anybody think I’m a saint or something, not long ago my husband had to sit on me and explain that we can’t just go kill all the bad people and put the rest on giant catapult and fling them off the planet. Apparently such things are frowned upon. Who knew?
Nor am I saying society should just bail on all standards or that man’s justice system should just take a hike, or that we are supposed to sit back and tolerate absolutely everything without ever standing up for ourselves. Nor are we supposed to forgive and forget and put ourselves right back in the line of fire.
I’m just saying, that part about forgiveness, Jesus meant that. That’s no joke. He meant it even when it comes to the things we believe are unforgivable. He wasn’t talking about empathizing with other people and making excuses for them, or weaving an explanation for their behavior, either. He meant forgiveness, even in the face of raw, unadulterated, unpasteurized, unrepentant sin.
I have been called to forgive the unforgivable more than a few times. “For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.” -Matthew 7:2 That’s not just an admonishment against passing judgment, that’s a promise. Forgiving others is what opens us up to receiving supernatural grace ourselves.
So, disagreement is good! God does not with hold affection to punish us when we disagree with Him, so we should follow suit with one another. Also, disagreement is usually not “sin.” I’m chuckling here, because I’ve lost track of all the times people have accused me of sin for allegedly having the wrong politics, wrong thought, wrong opinion. Even atheists. You just haven’t lived until you’ve had a bunch of atheists shrieking at you to repent. Kind of messes with your head.
Especially within the Body of Christ, disagreement can be really good. Consider Paul and Barnabas, two men who’s very disagreement helped to advance the early church and the Kingdom twice as fast. “They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus, but Paul chose Silas and left, commended by the believers to the grace of the Lord.” Acts 15:39-40.
Mel Wild said:
I agree! 🙂
Someone once said that “orphans” (mindset) view correction as rejection. The more secure about who we are, the more likely we can engage in positive disagreement and learn from one another.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Really good point, “correction as rejection,” that is the heart of the matter. What’s really fun is that once we let go of that orphan mindset we can more clearly see what junk belongs to us and what just belongs to other people. Some things may correct our thinking, but others things will just roll off of you like water on a duck. Gives you a teflon coating when it comes to dealing with people.
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violetwisp said:
I agree with most it too. But in forgiveness, I think it has to be with understanding, not just for the sake of it. I think it’s really important to look for people’s motivations and understand their insecurities. Like you say, it doesn’t excuse it, but it helps us understand that people act in odd ways for reasons we can explain, and therefore they can be helped through understanding. Sometimes. Jumping into aggressive/defensive mode rarely helps, whereas civil conversation often clears up areas of misunderstanding.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Kind of interesting,I was discussing that very issue. I too tend to look at people with empathy,so you know, they’re just having a bad day, they have a head ache, bad childhood…addiction issues.
I would be a really good defense attorney because I can defend and weave excuses for just about anyone. That’s not forgiveness however, that’s rationalizing. That’s making excuses. That’s launching a defense. Forgiveness insists we take it to the next level, somewhere beyond rational explanations and into the realm of supernatural grace.
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violetwisp said:
Why bother with supernatural grace if we can work to see the motivation/situation that led someone to poor judgement that causes harm? It’s like you’re admitting that there is no reason behind certain behaviours and only ‘magic’ can make it alright. I think humans are pretty basic.
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insanitybytes22 said:
“Why bother with supernatural grace if we can work to see the motivation/situation that led someone to poor judgement that causes harm?”
Because that denies the truth and reality of sin and prevents our own healing.
Consider a battered woman, Violet. Most of the time she will have every excuse on the book for a batterers’s abuse and will go back to him over and over again because he’s just sad and misunderstood, can’t help himself. To heal properly and free herself, she must accept the truth without empathy,without hope, he abuses because he believes it is acceptable and he can get away with it. Sin is without excuse.
Or, take a sexually abused child,often what keeps them trapped is empathy, fear of breaking up the family, fear that they are at fault. Spiritual,emotional, psychological freedom require supernatural grace, the ability to see sin clearly and lay it down where it belongs.
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paigeaddams said:
I think disagreement can be healthy – if done respectfully, lol, and with an open mind. It’s a good thing we aren’t all carbon copies of each other, and we have differing opinions on many things. I feel like I can learn a lot from hearing the other side of an issue. Sometimes it changes my mind, others it strengthens my resolve in what I already think.
And forgiveness – man, that’s a tough one. I may always work on that. Lol, I think I’m like what you were describing with your husband having to sit on you. I get a little ragey sometimes about a small handful of subjects – usually in the realm of me thinking the justice system has failed in some way. I do think it’s important not to forget though, once I have managed to forgive. It’s another learning experience. 🙂
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Wally Fry said:
Conflict between believers is not without precedent in the Bible by any means
Galatians 2:11-14
But when Peter was come to Antioch, I withstood him to the face, because he was to be blamed. For before that certain came from James, he did eat with the Gentiles: but when they were come, he withdrew and separated himself, fearing them which were of the circumcision. And the other Jews dissembled likewise with him; insomuch that Barnabas also was carried away with their dissimulation. But when I saw that they walked not uprightly according to the truth of the gospel, I said unto Peter before them all, If thou, being a Jew, livest after the manner of Gentiles, and not as do the Jews, why compellest thou the Gentiles to live as do the Jews?
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dawnlizjones said:
Wow, this is just what we were talking about! Love it! Kindness among believers (our recent topic), Becky gets it here, and there is just no room (and no time) for offense in the fam. Besides, there’s plenty of it outside the fam to deal with anyway.
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Wally Fry said:
Now…that is some truth…plenty out there for sure!
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msano said:
Love this line: It’s not that they need to be more forgiving, it’s that they need to be more forgiven. 👏
I really believe you can’t give what you don’t have!! ” For-give” forgiveness is something we give and so gotta receive it first from God!!
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MJThompson said:
I disagree! LOL…
But seriously, iron sharpens iron, NOT through harmony – but abrasion.
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dawnlizjones said:
LOVE THIS
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Citizen Tom said:
Excellent!
There is no shortage of disagreement these days. Never really has been except under a tyrannical government. To end disagreement, we must accept a far more intolerable evil.
What some people miss is the real test of forgiveness. We forgive a sin we know is wrong, and the sinner knows is wrong, and there is no repentance.
We always have evil people among us, people who sin without shame or regret (except at being caught). We forgive them for our own sake. So we can get on with our lives, we renounce vengeance and just leave that to the Lord.
Does that mean the government should not punish evil people? As you said, no.
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newenglandsun said:
I’m sad because a celebrity just died.
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insanitybytes22 said:
LOL! I’m sorry, I must have missed it.
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newenglandsun said:
Not a very Jesus-like response…
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insanitybytes22 said:
Well, if they were a saved celebrity then they are in paradise right now.
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newenglandsun said:
“saved celebrity”…when Hell breaks loose–literally.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Is “saved celebrity” an oxymoron? 🙂
I’m actually so busy grieving the Undertaker’s retirement right now,the end of an era, that I just haven’t got time to take on anymore celebrity grief. All the others are just going to have to wait.
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Tricia said:
So true that disagreement is good! God created us as unique individuals, not robots who all think and talk alike, so of course differences of opinions will occur and should be discussed and hopefully with respect.
Can’t agree with you more either when you mention that where there is no disagreement there is no love. You see this in couples who can’t understand why their marriage isso dead because they never fight about anything. Well, yes, that’s just it.
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