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It can be challenging to blog in the midst of a complete internet meltdown, like when someone posts an idiotic video that for some mysterious reason causes teh feelz and goes viral. Or during times of great political scandal, when attentions are diverted to other things.

I am the worst of the lot, I love a grand and elaborate conspiracy of the JFK sort. Someone once called me a Conspiritress, a name I still cling to, quite delighted by it. It’s not the conspiracy itself that interests me so much as it is what motivates us to pause from the mundane and ordinary routine of life and try to identify the secret deceptions, intrigue, and manipulations going on around us.

I’m also a bit of a cynic, as in what if the grandest conspiracy of all is that there really are no alien lizard overlords hiding in Washington DC, orchestrating these elaborate plot twists? What if we people are just as bungling and foolish as we appear? And what if we have no one else to blame but ourselves? Now there’s a scary thought….

Ah, court intrigue, it has captured our minds and hearts since forever. I find scandals, intrigues, and conspiracies rather encouraging, no matter how far out in the stratosphere they are tripping the light fantastic. They are evidence of people actually thinking, of neurons actually firing, and our imaginations doing some work. That’s often a good thing.

So yesterday someone spilled the whole entire can of mixed nuts all over the place and I was left wondering, who let the dogs out? On the internet and on the ground, it was nothing but talk of Hillary’s alleged health issues, the great cover up, right on down to the obvious body double that seems to have soon reappeared on the scene. She shall forever now be known as the Manchurian candidate…

Right on time, as if to stir the pot, some obscure media outlet “accidentally” reported her death or were “experiencing unscheduled maintenance and technical difficulties,” depending on your perspective.

But why stop there? Naturally a  forensic pathologist with a love for all things Russian and a dislike for all things Trumpian, stepped into the fray to suggest likely poisoning, a frequent tactic of ridding oneself of political enemies since the days of old. Putin makes some people a bit nervous it seems.

Not to be left out in the cold, the Sandinistas, an intense lot let me tell you, jumped onto the pig pile to remind people we have a replacement candidate and he hasn’t got pneumonia. Obviously all this intrigue is about Bernie playing a high stakes game of 11 dimensional chess. Isn’t he just so smart? He’s going to be our candidate! Ah, yes hope springs eternal. Actually their spring of hope is becoming a bit more like the annoying and persistent leak of incontinence, but I suppose that wouldn’t be polite to mention.

I promise you, all of these things are totally true because I read them on the internet. Well, “true” in the sense that they are actually being said and thought by real people. As to “factually based and rooted in reality,” perhaps not so much.

I assure you, some of us remained far above the fray, as in quite high up, gazing towards all those chemtrails that seemed to be dotting our skies yesterday. Or perhaps they are only the tails of jets long since past. Than again there is always the chance they are one of those experimental missiles from North Korea…..

nuts

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