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I was having a chuckle today, I really do love the Lord and so I try to keep His commandments. John 14:15 says, “If ye love me, keep my commandments.”

Have I succeeded perfectly? No, not at all. I’ve managed to break them all in some form or another. Those who believe they’ve kept them all are probably lying to their own selves, bearing false witness, which actually violates a commandment. Kind of a catch-22 there. There’s a couple of different versions of the ten c0mmandments. It doesn’t really matter, I’ve managed to break them all, all translations, the Greek, the Hebrew, in some form or another.

All you law breakers can take heart, when Moses first tried to share the Ten Commandments with people, he saw them in such a sin state, worshiping a calf, building an alter, that Moses’ anger waxed hot, and he just smashed the tablets in frustration.

You may wonder why I am chuckling at the idea of sin. It’s the joy of grace, it’s the beauty of Salvation, it’s an understanding of who and what Jesus Christ is and why we need Him so much. I honestly believe if there isn’t some joy in your heart, you haven’t fully met our Savior yet.

For many years I hung onto that one commandment, Well Lord, I haven’t killed anyone yet. Partial grace, I call it. Grading oneself on a curve. Just not fully in His arms. Saved perhaps, but not really sanctified.

Like an old Western, God put some people in my path that really needed killing. Actually, like a Western, killing was too good for them. They needed murdering. Then I needed to hunt their souls down and kill them some more. Not to confuse genres, but if I had my way, I’d still be out with a shovel whacking cowboy zombies upside the head until I was sure they were all annihilated.

And so I came to understand what murder in my heart and spirit really felt like. Could I murder? Absolutely. Even me.

In Matthew 5:28 Jesus Christ speaks to us of adultery, “That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” It speaks to the idea of sin being in our heart, in our spirit, long before it even manifests itself in the physical. In fact, it may never do so. We may be delivered from temptation. We don’t have to act on it, but it is still there. It is our spiritual condition when it lives within us. (All those who struggle with lust or adultery can relax, I’ve struggled with murder, so no judgment coming from me. I get it.)

I did not actually murder anyone. There is no-one buried beneath rose bushes. Instead, God lead me down a powerful path of forgiveness, one that truly blessed me because I drew closer to Him, I came to understand the price He paid when He said, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.  The price He paid for me.

What is on the inside, what resides within us, is so much more important than what is being shown on the outside. It is the condition of our heart and spirit that truly matters, it is there that genuine healing happens, where we are washed clean in the blood of the Lamb and become new creatures.