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blogging, culture, faith, insanitybytes, love, opinion, Proverbs 31, virtues
First let me say Proverbs 31 is a lovely passage, often forgotten but it is actually , “The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.” It is beautiful tribute to wives, to mothers, to women, perhaps even to the church herself, the bride, “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.” Nothing wrong with scripture, and of course nothing wrong with pouring goodness over husbands either.
However, there are many teachings about the Proverbs 31 wife that concern me, and all in good humor a couple of Proverbs 31 wife bloggers who are so oozing goodness and virtue, they are practically hissing and spitting their goodness all over me and a few others too. It’s actually rather comical to watch women hissing so much “virtue” at their sisters.
It concerns me however, because it’s a recipe for disaster, ulcers and high blood pressure, eating disorders and stress. Women, girls have been pursing the good and perfect with tragic results since forever because “the good” will never been good enough. You can never be thin enough, pretty enough, smart enough, good enough, rich enough, virtuous enough…
So enough with the attempts to be “good enough.” I much prefer to be a fallen woman because it is rooted in truth and ends in salvation.
I don’t know if anyone noticed, but Jesus Christ does not come knocking on the door of the Proverbs 31 wife declaring, I come for the virtuous. Not at all, he came for the sinners, the fallen women. He reveals Himself to the woman at the well, the woman with five husbands. He rescues the adulteress from stoning and 7 demons come out of Mary Magdalene. There is not a virtuous Proverbs 31 wife anywhere to be found. They are all fallen women and that is no accident, scripture makes no mistakes.
That is because we are all fallen women. F-a-l-l-e-n, like Wiley Coyote taking a nose dive of a cliff and face planting at the bottom. Deeply flawed, imperfect, definitely not virtuous. No one pure, holy, virtuous, not one. In fact, it can be very harmful attempting to justify ones own self by virtue of one’s own virtue. It also can’t be done becasue one can never be “good enough” to repay what was done for us on the cross.
The perfect really is the enemy of the good. There is so much stress, tension, self harm, just oozing from women striving to declare their goodness, their virtue, to prove their worth and value in the world, and it is somewhat heartbreaking watch.
Those fallen women had value to Jesus Christ, they followed Him, He even thought they were worth dying for. He saw their potential, He saw the virtue lurking within their souls, not always evident on the outside, not always seen by the culture’s eyes, not perceived valuable in the context of human hierarchies, but chosen, loved, and redeemed by Him.
I always think of the woman with the perfume, of the powerful truth to be found there, Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little.
Wrapped in nothing but our own virtue, we will love little. The fruit of the Spirit are just that, fruit of the Spirit, not fruit of ourselves.
Sophia's Children said:
Hissing and spitting their virtue … ahhh, that’s enjoyable wording. I’ve seen this virtue hissing-spitting thing from time to time, too. Fascinating. 🙂
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insanitybytes22 said:
Ha! Yes, I think we have all seen virtue attempting to hiss and spit itself all over the place. The virtue wars, not a good thing but somewhat comical.
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Debbie L said:
No virtue hissing and spitting from me. I know how fallen I am…
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insanitybytes22 said:
Me too! And actually the view is quite lovely down here, plus one doesn’t have to spit and spitting is gross. 🙂
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Salvageable said:
Frankly, I’m amused that anyone would focus on the last chapter of the book of Proverbs and aim its standards at women. The entire book of Proverbs describes a wise and virtuous life, condemning all sinners by its demands. Read as a rulebook, Proverbs (or any chapter thereof) is frankly depressing, more so than Ecclesiastes. Read as a description of Jesus Christ, Proverbs is wonderfully encouraging, especially since we are promised Christ’s transforming power to reshape us in his image. J.
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fromscratchmom said:
Thank-you
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Eric said:
The problem today though is that even though men may reflect Christ’s attitude and see value in fallen women; the women today see no value in Christ or any other male. Maybe instead of trying to become the woman of Proverbs 31, women should concentrate on finding men who’d value what women like that did.
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Rebecca LuElla Miller said:
IB, your post reminded me of a Liz Curtis Higgs book. Well, two: Bad Girls of the Bible and Really Bad Girls of the Bible. I heard Higgs speak one year, featuring a different “bad girl” each night. Tremendous!
Becky
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insanitybytes22 said:
Perfect! I will have to check her out. I love the whole concept and it’s reassuring knowing there are others in the world who see it too.
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Paul said:
Now that is a fascinating topic IB. We have discussed this before – and I really am becoming more convinced that sin is a lot more than doing things against God. I think it was created with the universe and without sin we cannot know God. That would mean that virtue can only be established in the presence of sin and come from sin. Those who claim to be virtuous aren’t because it is not a state it is a process – a process that comes from sin. So, virtue is when sin becomes honor – at that moment virtue springs into being. Much like an integral – virtue exists only at a single point where sin becomes honor. That point is swallowed by time so fast as to leave virtue timeless. So if you think of life as a sphere, virtue is a cross section so thin that it is reduced to two dimensions – a circle. An infinite number of virtuous points could create a virtuous life – but that is not a possible option in real life. In reality virtue appears and disappears in a flash on a background of sin. Without the sin, the process of virtue could not exist.
That said, you know this fits well with the theory that we – and this universe – are actually a “dis”- integrated version of God, provided as such by Grace to give us choice to reintegrate and move towards God and in so doing create ourselves.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Very interesting stuff, Paul.
“I really am becoming more convinced that sin is a lot more than doing things against God”
Absolutely! Sin is also about hurting ourselves. If you think of God as a Father, than the worse thing you can do is to harm His children or to watch them suffer. He wants good things for us. So we honor God by honoring ourselves.
Often virtue does spring from sin, it is a process like beings squeezed in a wine press. Empathy for example, is hard to know if you haven’t walked in those shoes. So the woman with the perfume, she loves much because she has sinned much and been forgiven. Christ, grace and virtue, went to the cross because of sin, so He Himself is love, virtue, grace, the possibility of redemption, conquering sin and handing us virtue, sacrificial love.
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theancients said:
“they are practically hissing and spitting their goodness…”
haha the imagery for me here was that of a snake
Wrapped in nothing but our own virtue, we will love little”
So true. It also reminds me of the saying: when we’re all wrapped up in ourselves, we make a very small package.
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