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For a bit of back story, my question to Pastor Wilson so long ago was, How is it you continue to teach this stuff year after year, never seeming to understand how it is received subjectively in the hearts of men, perverted,  and translated out into harming real women’s lives? Men’s lives too, for that matter.

So I have suggested that Dalrock and the other red pills are a bit like a mirror, the tangible evidence of what rotten fruit such religious teachings on headship and patriarchy actually produce.

Recently Pastor Wilson just kind of poo pooed the whole notion, casually mentioned that some guys go, “the Dalrock route,” never really clarifying what that even means. So one of those Dalrockians wrote to Wilson and asked him that very question, “what is the “Dalrock route?” and he answered here, “….from what I have seen, I would describe the Dalrock route as over-realized patriarchy. This is not the same thing as extreme patriarchy (the toxic kind), and it is not the same thing as my own version of (amazingly balanced) patriarchy. I speak as a man, as Paul might say, and that’s the problem, as RHE might say.”

Then he proceeded to say he stopped reading Dalrock because Dalrock always insists on misunderstanding him. I’m going to go with, Uh, No. Dalrock actually understands what is being said very well and runs with it, as so many men often do. Dalrock is actually the fruit, the product of such religious teachings, as are his merry men of the degrade and demean woman at every turn variety, because  it’s allegedly Godly. And Godly of course obviously means manly. And manly obviously means, against anything womanly.

Because allegedly Eve is just cursed and brought sin into the world and continues to do so today and she must forever be contained least she try to do it again.

So I rather like Pastor Wilson’s fantasy, his sweet world of alleged “amazingly balanced patriarchy. ” I like it very much, I could totally live there, and sometimes I actually do, but I don’t really believe in it at all, not one whit, in fact I think it’s an outright lie and a rather cruel one at that.

For one it just creates weak men and fearful women, and the fearful women are supposed to just submit more to the weak men, because you know, nothing is more likely to give you a severe case of depression than looking up at your alleged rock of strength and all spiritual maturity and realizing the man is nothing more then a weak and broken vessel even less qualified to solve the world’s problems then you are.

So you know like, depression, anxiety, self mutilation, addiction, eating disorders, and forever having to clean all the porn out of your inbox…..

Then of course there is always the waiting for Prince Charming to get around to having his great spiritual epiphany while you just patiently follow along behind, cleaning up after his horse.

So a man the other day asked me, “Have you been a good girl? Is Santa coming to your house?” And I blurted out, “I certainly hope not! The last thing I want is some fat man coming down my chimney. I’d much rather just glorify in my own badness and buy my own gifts, thank you very much.”

That’s actually a dangerous place of disenchantment to be trapped in, not believing in Santa Claus anymore….. or in the lies and fairy tales that so often flow from the mouths of so many in our churchian leadership.

Because you know, if that is a lie, then what else that you have said is a lie, too?

And you know, as much as I love my family, there are still many days when I deeply envy those who have wisely chosen to just retreat quietly to their apartments full of boxed wine and way too many cats.

That same disenchantment I sometimes feel is what we see all about the world right now, it is why so many are now deconstructing their faith or sadly, rejecting their faith outright.

And the Blind Pharisee’s of Sherwood Forest will just go, rebellion, they’re all in rebellion, and I suppose we are, but in rebellion against what? Against religious lies that have done so much harm, that have left those who are hurting out in the cold to suffer alone??

The only thing that saves me in the midst of all this turbulence is a keen awareness that that is exactly why Jesus came, to deconstruct our very faith, to challenge our lies and deceptions, to launch a full on rebellion against the religious leadership of His day, the very same leadership that eventually helped send Him to the cross.

That was actually us. Us with our carefully crafted theology, our vast moral superiority, our endless legalism, and our complete unwillingness to listen to anyone else at all, or to even see the face of the Lord standing right before us.

My question just sits there today flat and unanswered, like mushy leftovers in the fridge too long, hardly even recognizable anymore, while people just look politely away or perhaps down at the ground, still unable or perhaps unwilling to ever answer me.

And that perhaps gets to the real heart of the matter, the very essence of the problem, when we cannot even hear one another, we certainly cannot hear the Holy Spirit either, and the churchian world just marches on in this kind of macabre dance dropping off bits of itself along the way, like some kind of biological experiment gone horribly awry.

Those bits that have fallen away are my hurting people and those questions I ask are actually their questions, and I am no closer to having an answer for them then when I first began.

Does the church even care? I honestly don’t know. We are the church, I am the church, and if we actually do care we seem to be doing a rather poor job of it.

I seem to be doing a rather poor job of it, but it is not from a lack of caring, it is from a place of sheer powerlessness and never being heard and having now lost all hope that I ever will be.