Thank you Pastor Wilson, for standing in The Word, for standing up for what is right. I appreciate bearing witness to that a great deal. (For those who don’t know, Pastor Wilson is a rather outspoken, controversial, and often maligned pastor, the author of many books, and a blogger.)
I like to speak of faith, of marriage, of submission even…..and than there are the red pills. Red pills like Donal Graeme and Dalrock, hostile, angry men who pervert scripture in a way that can be used to justify abuse against women. Needless to say, I can hardly bear to see my beautiful scriptures twisted, the concept of submission so perverted and misused.
IB is a former domestic violence advocate, so I am not blind to the nature of abuse.
I’ve been speaking out against the red pills for sometime now, especially their attempts to create “Alt Christianity,” this somewhat blasphemous perversion of the faith I hold near and dear, and also their propensity to advocate violence against women, although they like to cloak that truth in rhetoric and denial.
So the whole sordid tale goes something like this. Pastor Wilson posted his “21 theses on submission.” I rather liked it….until the comments started coming in and then I knew we were in red pill territory. Sure enough, Dalrock was annoyed. Apparently Pastor Wilson’s piece was too woman friendly or something, so he wrote “Submission with a twist, and denying rebellion.” Donal joins in and fires off Shoot The Messenger.
NightWind 777 who I rather like, wrote a post called “Cultists Attack Pastor Doug Wilson,” which does help to clarify the nature of the problem even farther. That is what these “Christian” red pills do, twist scripture and attack any pastor they perceive as not advocating perpetual male superiority of the sort that would enable men to use scripture to justify abusing their wives.
The point of this post is two-fold. I really do appreciate the way Pastor Wilson identified the problem and addressed it. I believe I called him “irresponsible” and apparently I was wrong about that. Wrong in the sense that my distrust of him was misplaced because he responded beautifully.
The larger point about responsibility however, is the second part I wanted to address, not really related to Pastor Wilson at all, but as a general commentary. It is irresponsible to teach “wives submit” to men who haven’t yet mastered, “husband’s love.” Heck, to men who apparently haven’t even met Jesus Christ’s grace and mercy yet, redemption as it applies to them personally. Unless I wash you, you have no part of me…
“Wives submit” is only one half of an equation, or perhaps even less than that, if one takes into account the need for Salvation first and then a good understanding of grace. One must first know what it is to “be” loved before one knows what it is “to” love.
“Wives submit” detached from grace itself and a dozen other biblical teachings, simply becomes the excuse for why I drink, the reason I can abuse her, the reason why I have affairs, justification for all manner of sin and violence in a family. It becomes the fuel for spiritual abuse, the excuse for oppressing women, the very reason why we never have to look at our own sin issues at all.
Not my fault Lord, it’s all because of “this woman you gave me…” Needless to say those very same words from Genesis are still used today and they are kind of the opposite of leadership, the opposite of taking personally responsibility. He who is under authority, has authority. He who is not, is simply too wounded to lead anyone. He is simply wasting away in Margaritaville, lamenting the alleged failure of every woman he’s ever known.
Submission in marriage can be a beautiful thing for women, mostly because it helps you to strengthen your own relationship with the Lord, to get to know yourself, to let go of burdens that don’t belong to you, to relinquish a need for control. It can also help to create gentler, less stressed out men, bring peace to your marriage, and to help sexual relations blossom and thrive.
I mentioned that last part, because Pastor Wilson was also lambasted on facebook for allegedly promoting kinkyness or something. Not at all, it is simply that women who feel loved, those who have a gentle spirit that does not give way to fear, and men who feel respected, honored even, are a pretty dynamic sexual combination, one that brings out the best of us within our own biological framework. That’s a good thing in a marriage.
God knew exactly what He was doing when He designed us, and as it says in the bible, 3 John 1:2, “Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.”