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blogging, culture, faith, insanitybytes2, love, mockery, ridicule, satire, tools and weapons
An issue that has come up on several blogs is the need for compassion, mercy, versus the art form of mockery, ridicule, and provocation. Pastor Wilson also touched on this issue a few days ago in a post called, “Win or Winnow,or Both?”
To winnow is actually to blow air through wheat, to rid it of its chaff, a word I am now quite fond of.
So the question before us is, “Shouldn’t Christians always be nice, kind, gentle, humble, prompt to turn the other cheek, forgiving, submissive, and conflict avoident?”
The answer is actually both a yes and a no. In spirit indeed, we are called to cultivate those things, to pay attention to them, to avoid needless strife for strife’s sake alone. To be humble, to be prompt to forgive. To be kind to one another.
The problem arises when you come to the realization that it is impossible to ever speak the truth without causing offense to someone. To live amicably and graciously among ALL people, requires one to lie, suppress, and deny Truth. It is impossible to say no and to stand against evil, without revoking, at least temporarily, someone’s access to compassion and unconditional love.
I remember the first time I revoked a kid’s freedom, withdrew my compassion, by simply turning off a video game. I was mean, cruel, lacking empathy and all natural affection, let me tell you. Truly the most awful person on the planet…for a few hours at least. It truth it wasn’t a lack of compassion at all, it was some sensible authority rearing its ugly head, because of love. Because of compassion.
I feel as if I am somewhat of an expert on this subject, not from my own wisdom, but from having gotten it wrong so many times, from having erred on the side of compassion and mercy far too many times. All in good humor here, but God’s discipline is a real thing in the world, and apparently if you have the Lord’s favor, He shows up quite often.
Now if one is a bull in a China shop, prone to sharp words, harsh judgments, and recklessness, that is different matter, but those are not the kind of errors I have had, nor the kind I see too much of. Do we have a problem in the world with too many assertive Christians standing up for what we believe in, perhaps even being provocative about it and causing some offense? I think not. I think we suffer from the precise opposite.
Regardless of what afflicts the Body of Christ as a whole, what afflicted me was a desire to be kind, to seek the favor of people, and to huddle and hunker down in the bilge of the boat during storms rather than to stand up and risk rocking it. (God with His infinite sense of humor has now given me a church that looks precisely like an upside down boat, so He knows me very well.)
Something I take note of, I have not been harmed one bit by people standing up for the truth, no matter how ungraciously and ungracefully, but I sure have been harmed by those unwilling to do so. The very worst thing in the world is to look about and your entire backup army has fled for the hills. That is a genuine betrayal. I’ll take a thousand ungracious truth tellers over that any day.
I have been convicted about this issue several times and often written about it, because the foolishness is so comical…. after the fact. I have done many things I regret today and nearly every one of them involve complying when I should have not complied, when I should have stood fast and fought back. Fought back using ridicule and mockery if necessary. Engaged, rather than withdrawing.
I once quietly unplugged my tiny cross on the front porch when a neighbor said the light was annoying him. I took the cross off my neck when a client said it offended her. I let a couple of friends attack faith and just smiled politely and let those words fall on the ground unchallenged before me.
I kid you not, I actually let a man with a bone in his nose wearing a loin cloth rant about how weird Christians are and God whispered, “Hello! You just let a man in loin cloth call you weird. Call ME weird. What’s wrong with that picture?”
I allowed myself to be driven in the closet because as atheists have told me a thousand times, you shouldn’t be seen by men. Don’t be a hypocrite. Faith is a private matter. Go in your closet and pray. And turn off your praise music, too. And God whispered, “Is there some reason why you are allowing atheists to dictate scripture to you?”
A woman once tried to pay me a compliment by saying, “I’m so glad you’re one of those benign Christians.” Benign, as in a non invasive, non threatening tumor. A pointless clump of cells, really. And God said, “why are claiming my name and acting benign?”
It all came to a head while standing in a garden between three women I knew, an atheist, a Muslim, and a witch, I kid you not, standing silently, grimly, while my Lord and Savior was mocked, ridiculed, trying to figure out how to make my exit but not daring to challenge the three of them. It was a like a really bad after school special, because the heavens opened up and Jesus Christ just thundered down, “Deny me before men and I’ll deny you before my Father!”
It wasn’t compassionate or gentle at all, in fact I hit the ground immediately and looked up thinking the other women must have heard it too, and yet they did not. It all came flooding back to me in that very moment, every time I had remained silent when I should have spoken up, every time I had called people to compassion and mercy rather than confrontation. I still didn’t walk away from those women, nor did I even say a word, but they all turned and walked away from me in disgust.
I have since learned, there is a time to fight, a time to be provocative, a time to mock and ridicule, and a time to provoke some winnowing. Nowhere in the bible are we called to just sit back and swallow endless chaff.
One thing I have learned from being on the internet, even in the midst of battle with other Christians, even in the face of harsh words and great accusations, at the root and core of all those arguments is the essence of the whole war. We are actually arguing with one another about how best to love other people. From grace to legalism, from Calvanism, to wit whimsy, and woo, the heart of our battles all revolve around a great moral concern over how we go about the business of loving people properly, in a way that more accurately reflects both the mercy and grace of Jesus Christ and the rebuke and offense of the cross.
Now that alone is a miracle. That is a faith worth standing up for.
Mel Wild said:
Ha…I loved it. You probably know that “nice” was first used in English to mean “foolish or stupid.” This is not as surprising since it came through early French from the Latin nescius, meaning “ignorant.”
So, no, I’m not nice either. 🙂 And there’s a difference between being passive (a doormat) and assertive (I matter and so do you).
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insanitybytes22 said:
Amen!
Nice really is a funny word,isn’t it? “Silly, ignorant, empty headed,” hey wait a minute, why you tellin’ me to be nice? You be “nice,” I’ll just go with kind. 🙂
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Mel Wild said:
No more mister nice guy…😏 Yes, kind! ❤
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lovelifeandgod said:
You’re so right. I am sick and tired of being the one that has to kowtow to other people. I am sick of people declaring what others can and cannot say. I am sick of my school finding new excuses to increase tuition for frivolous things like new fancy gym equipment that will only benefit less than half of the student population. I am sick of people telling me I shouldn’t be sick of these things. Today is the time to fight. Tomorrow is the time to fight. Yesterday was the time to fight!
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insanitybytes22 said:
Uh Oh. Now we’ve created a monster! Go get’em, Ada 🙂
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theancients said:
Jesus told us… look, I AM sending you out as sheep amongst the wolves. Be wise as snakes and harmless as doves.
Wolves are intentionally not incidentally hostile to those they prey upon.
One has to use wisdom, shrewdness/craftiness (as a snake) when dealing with wolves. Niceties will get you eaten without a second thought.
When they sought to kill Jesus before His time, Jesus escaped from amongst them… He didn’t just sit there and wait for them to throw him over the cliff.
…We are actually arguing with one another about how best to love other people…
Agree.
I have no issue with disagreement; when contention comes in – then that’s a matter of pride, as pride is the ONLY source of contention.
When we’re able to disagree, forgive and unite (be a unit) that’s what will show that we are one in Christ.
Jesus: And whatever town or village you enter, find out who is worthy in it and stay there until you depart. As you enter the house, greet it. And if the house is worthy, let your peace come upon it, but if it is not worthy, let your peace return to you. And if anyone will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet when you leave that house or town. Truly, I say to you, it will be more bearable on the day of judgment for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah than for that town.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Amen! Wise as snakes and harmless as doves, indeed.
I sometimes joke about how a sheep in wolves clothing can be a good thing indeed. Nobody ever runs to stand behind the lambs in a bar fight! A good shepherd does not lay down in the pasture apologizing for disturbing the wolves!
It’s not the sheep in wolves clothing we are warned about, it’s the wolves who disguise themselves as sheep that can be a problem.
As to mockery and ridicule, well, I think we are living in a culture that tends to exaggerate offense and perceive everything as abuse, as disrespect. Perhaps, but if someones thinking is flawed and there is toilet paper trailing off their shoe, it is not kindness to look the other way and pretend all will be well.
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theancients said:
Exactly! – It’s the wolves in sheep’s clothing that we should be most wary of.
When someone intentionally manufactures offense to divide and conquer, and we fall for it because we harbor some misguided notion of what we think Jesus would do, who exactly are we helping.
Jesus dealt with people based on what was in their hearts. He gave the law to some (dealt harshly) while giving grace to others. Our motivations are extremely important.
As D. Sherriff would say – we tend to think of Jesus as some metro-sexual male wearing skinny jeans.
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Julie (aka Cookie) said:
and I think of a bit of good ol righteous indignation—mix in a little battle tested David, Constantine, Joan of Arc…
and we see that the faithful have not always been mamby pamby wimps…sometimes having no choice but to raise a righteous sword
the eternal struggle for Christians…that whole turning the other check, finding love in the madness, forgiveness 70 x 7…yet defending the oppressed, fighting for that which is Holy and true…there are times to raise the sword and times to lay it down
the key is knowing the difference….
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insanitybytes22 said:
Well said, Julie. It’s complicated isn’t it? There is a time to be gentle and there is a time to just kick somebody in the rear. Knowing the individual and the given situation helps and knowing the nature of yourself, too. We aren’t supposed to be out kicking the downtrodden and speaking respectfully to the high and mighty. 🙂
There’s a catchy saying I really like, “comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.”
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The Daytime Renegade said:
This post hit me. It’s something struggled with for most of my life, denying the faith to fit in with the world, which seems to be friendly to all religions but ours. That said, while I try to be civil, and am even-keeled by nature, I reached the point a few years ago where I will tell someone to eff the hell right off when they start mocking my faith. It’s about time we stopped being a doormat and letting people who not only know nothing about us, but hate us, tell us what our Lord and Savior really wants.
Thank you for writing this.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Thank you for your kind words, they are much appreciated. I too tend to be even keeled and civil, but there comes a point where we just have to speak up.
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ColorStorm said:
Expert for being wrong so often.’ Love that rawness.
Along the lines of ridicule this popped up. How many times do we almost write somebody off for what they are saying, because we do not ‘like’ them personally?
In other words, we allow personality defects to cloud our judgment. WHAT they are saying is spot on, but we tune a deaf ear because agreeing with them is too close to identifying with their personality which we find repulsive.
It would be like saying a thief who tells the truth is a liar just because he is a thief, meanwhile he can be more truthful than I. We despise his thiefdom, but his ‘truthfulness’ is suspect. Not necessarily. So I guess its important to try to separate the bigger picture from the advertisements.
And of course, thieves are no boy scouts either, just sayin. 😉
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insanitybytes22 said:
That’s a really good point! I know God has certainly had to teach me how to listen for the truth in people I may not like. Then there is the flip side of that, the flatterers and ear ticklers and we tend to be vulnerable to that kind of manipulation and more likely to believe what they say.
I really like the CS Lewis bit about how there will be surprises in heaven, that we will see souls as they really are, as they were intended to be without the indigestion. The bible says the last will go first and perhaps the least of these will be the greatest in heaven. Here in our world we can only see through the glass darkly and we tend to judge all the books by their covers.
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"A" dad said:
Proverbs 27
5 Better is open rebuke
than hidden love.
6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted,
but an enemy multiplies kisses.
Proverbs 13:24
24 Whoever spares the rod hates their children,
but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.
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MJThompson said:
Good news, grace trumps responsibility! Grace permits us to choose our battles and you don’t have to accept extreme Calvinism to appropriate it.
“Then all this assembly shall know that the Lord does not save with sword and spear; for the battle is the Lord’s, and He will give you into our hands.” – 1Sam. 17:47.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Amen! I really like how grace trumps responsibility. We can chose or battles or not chose them, too!
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patrickhawthorne01 said:
You gotta know when to hold em and know when to hold em….Hey, that could be a good country song 🙂
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insanitybytes22 said:
LOL! You can have your ear worm back now. 🙂
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