Just saying. If you’re asking questions like, “Will Wilcox and the men of National Review respect you in the morning?” it’s time to break it off, stop indulging your masochistic tendencies, start showing some respect for yourself, and find some better reading material.
Dalrock begins by saying, “I should start by noting that I am a happily married father and a firm believer in marriage. Marriage is not only the foundation of the family, it is given to us from God.”
Yep, I’d say that’s true, he is indeed a marriage blogger. Here’s the problem however, his perception of women is so dark and ugly, so disrespectful, that marriage, a beautiful gift from God, becomes this dystopian nightmare for women, it is all about being bound to men who don’t even know how to love.
Dark, ugly, disrespectful. Like the commenter who OBJECTS to a facebook post that says, “If the cost of saving a marriage is destroying a woman, the cost is too high. God loves people more than he loves institutions.”
How could anyone in their right mind object to that and believe that God would ever condone destroying a woman? That was a comment, that was the fruit of the kind of message Dalrock sends, the tone he sets. Dalrock himself goes on to say, “Modern women shamelessly fantasize about divorce…”
Hmm, perhaps. Our whole culture has certainly become more divorce minded, and Hollywood, the media, changes marriages like they change underwear, and we live in a culture that no longer values commitment. Is this entirely women’s fault, however? Did it spring up from a void, a bunch of women just got together one day and started fantasizing about divorce?
More importantly however, so how do we go about fixing a broken world, how do we make it better? Jesus Christ, only He saves. We point people to Christ. Unfortunately Dalrock seems more than willing to point to Jesus Christ as condemnation, as a way to punish women, as a way to back up the fact that he apparently believes women are designed to simply suffer and sacrifice for marriage, including enduring abuse, which we probably just made up anyway.
Then I have to remember this odd phenomenon that often plagues men, this combination of denial and an unfailing belief in their own goodness. Denial in the sense that Dalrock and crew seem to believe that all men are innocent, good, seeking only to protect and provide for their wife and kids. Abuse doesn’t even exist in Dalrock’s world or if it does he lacks the eyes to see it.
All men think they’re good. Well, most of them. There are those odd ducks who admit they are not, those who have the humility to see themselves as they really are, those who do not put their faith in their own goodness. Those who would never insist their sister’s do the same. Thank God for those odd ducks too, because the truth of Jesus Christ’s love tends to shine all the brighter within them. Even Christ Himself says, “Why do you call me good? None is good, save one-God.” -Luke 18:19
A perfect, sin free man objected to be called good, why in the world would any of us deeply flawed humans try to insist we’re good?
I kid you not, I once went to court with a woman, clear case of child sexual abuse, horrific stuff, blatant evidence, cut and dry conviction, and as the guy is going by he turns to me and says, “You just don’t understand, I’m really a good guy.” Yeah, evil has this soul crushing way of never being able to see the nature of its own self, of looking you right in the eye and calling itself good.
I don’t know why, I just know it does.
If Dalrock or any Dalrockian truly cared about the state of our world, the state of marriage within our culture, the condition of people’s hearts, they would set down their stones and start a real conversation. That comes with a price however, a willingness to admit that wives are indeed, “heirs together of the grace of life.”