I have to tell you, churchian culture can be quite a shock to the system for those who do not come from the church world. I speak of those who grew up within the church, and those who come from the secular world. I come from the secular world, some 30 years ago, but a part of me is still always observing, always watching those churchian dynamics at play.
There is nothing new under the sun, the early church itself dealt with endless quirks and culture clashes. I like Acts 11:3, “Thou wentest in to men uncircumcised, and didst eat with them…” ?? Nobody does that, it’s just not done! So many potential culture conflicts going on there, Jews, gentiles, the circumcised, the uncircumcised, Greeks, dietary restrictions, laws, rules, traditions…..
I mean this with all good humor, but there have been a few times in the church I have thought, this may well be one of the most horrifying things I have ever born witness to in my entire life. I kid you not. That may well rankle some, but it is what it is.
There is a method to my madness here. I really believe that those who have spent their lives within the church have something valuable to learn from those of us who haven’t. What is familiar to some can easily become invisible and sometimes taken for granted.
One of my first churchian memories in Alaska was watching these two women prepare communion. In this church they would cut the crusts off slices of bread and cube them into perfectly uniform squares. Apparently the bread had to be frozen when you did this or else the pieces would make crumbs and someone might get a piece that was bigger or smaller than the others. This would cause “issues.” Kind of like the issues these two women were pouring all over the stupid woman who had forgotten to freeze the bread. That’s one of my first introductions to the church, a bit of gossip and mean-spiritedness over communion cubes.
All in good fun here, but if there is such a thing as a one way ticket to hell, fighting over the size of your communion bread is probably it.
Once again, there is nothing new under the sun. Even the disciples got caught up in such things. “And there was also a strife among them, which of them should be accounted the greatest.”-Luke 22:24
I’ve spent many years listening to churchian people and there are a few very familiar complaints that seem to play out over and over again. The first is worship music. I don’t now what’s wrong with it, but it’s never going to be right. It’s always going to be too loud, too contemporary, too traditional, too repetitive, too unfamiliar. I always want to say, you do realize you’re talking to someone who spent years singing “I’m a believer,” by the Monkees? I’m pretty sure God wrote that song of praise just for me to worship with. God can speak to anyone, anywhere.
Once in California I was sitting with some people who were lamenting the horrors of worship music and this guy sat down and said, “When I was in this motel room with two prostitutes the guy I owed drug money to kicked in the door and shot me and I had to escape out the back door naked and run down the alley.” They had left part of the bullet in him and he wanted us all to feel it. That’s perspective for you. It can be a dark and ugly world out there and sometimes we completely forget that. What were we murmuring about again? Music? Seriously?
The second one is this issue of not being fed. For some reason that always reminds me of The Little Shop of Horrors and, “Feed me Seymour.” Are you a potted plant? Only a carnivorous potted plant expects someone else to feed them. One simply cannot spend an hour in church once a week and passively download faith. Besides, I’m hungry too, why aren’t you feeding me?
I used to really regret having been kept out of the church, having missed out growing up, having struggled so hard as an adult. It’s not easy being a believer in the midst of non belief and you can feel very alone, but I don’t regret it anymore because it gave me an insatiable hunger for God, an appreciation for the church no matter how flawed, and a desire not to take things for granted. It can all be gone in an instant.
Sometimes I still feel a real disconnect from those who have known nothing else, from those who seek perfection and control over the things around them rather than grabbing onto the idea that, “For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.” -2 Corinthians 5:21
We are the righteousness of God in him. The Spirit of God dwells within us. We are the church, it’s not really to be found in what is going on around you, but what is within you.
“Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?”– 1 Corinthians 3:16
Citizen Tom said:
Grew up going to a Catholic Church. Then I stayed away for almost 40 years. I guess that is just about the same as being a newbee. I think I understand the idea of church, but I am an awkward participant. Yet I probably would be an awkward participant in any case. I prefer solitude, but it is difficult to have fellowship with people who are not there. Sigh!
Because we have so many imperfections, life brings with it many problems. No wonder the Apostle Paul started looking forward to finishing his race. Yet to win, the race must be run, and our Lord’s insistence that we love each other means we cannot run alone. Just as Paul cared about how others ran their race, we too must care. Perhaps that is why church is awkward. It is something we do on the run.
😉
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Pastor Randy said:
After reading this I immediately thought of Ecclesiastes 12:11 (from The Message)– “The words of the wise prod us to live well.
They’re like nails hammered home, holding life together. They are given by God, the one Shepherd.” And your last thoughts, the deepest nail of all: “We are the church, it’s not really to be found in what is going on around you, but what is within you.”
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Shattered in Him said:
I was not raised in church, but my husband was. There are times when I think there is actually some benefit to being someone who experienced a secular environment rather than the church culture. Because, yes, there is a church culture that seems to have nothing to do with Jesus at all. Or, I should say, there is a church culture that talks about Jesus, I just keep looking for Him to actually show up in the midst and I have difficulty seeing Him no matter how many times His name comes up. My husband feels the same, even as a man who was born and bred in the church environment.
I have come to the conclusion that all of our “first world problems” and petty complaints are extremely offensive to the Lord when you take the context of the bigger picture into consideration.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Amen! I so agree with you.
There really is a church culture that seems to have nothing to do with Christ. LOL, I suppose that was a real problem in Christ’s day, too. I think He mentioned it a few times. 🙂
I’m one of those comfortable, first world churchians myself , so I often struggle against that too, struggle to stay refreshed, open to Christ.
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Shattered in Him said:
Makes me think of Matthew 7:21. That part is a heavy dose of reality!
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Pastor Randy said:
I would also say I’ve learned more about God and the Kingdom of God from the “unchurched” than from the “churchian” culture. For example, I’ve met more friendly people in motorcycle leather than in suits and ties.
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Shattered in Him said:
I absolutely agree! The “unchurched” tend to have more passion for Him, which is essential to actually have the relationship with Him that He desires. That passion turns into passion for others, another essential feature to a personal relationship with Jesus. At least, that is my idea of it.
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madblog said:
I too find it valuable to have come from outside. In my case, it’s outside the Protestant evangelical culture (I come from nominal Catholicism). It lets you pick out the Christianese language and it lets you value the good things in the church more.
One of our missionaries put an end to tussles over music one day when she pointed out the “issues” that Christians have in countries where being a Christian is illegal. Perspective.
I’ve recently been treated to the complaints of a few of the ever-leaving, never-committing churchgoers. Not being fed. Not being listened to. Not being asked how they are often enough by the leadership. They leave and bash the church very publicly because they told it to dance and it wouldn’t dance. I wonder how Christ feels about that since he died for that church, His Bride.
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insanitybytes22 said:
I so agree with you about the dozens of silly complaints from first world Christians totally lacking perspective.
I don’t worry too much about what people say about the church, in part because I think Christ already knows. In the final chapter He comes back and addresses the churches. We are His deeply flawed and imperfect bride, but we are His and He loves us.
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Salvageable said:
You have caused me to relive dozens of nightmares from my years in church culture. I always fall back on the image of the bride of my best friend–I must accept her if I wish to remain friends with him. As viewed in the present world, the Bride of Christ can be ugly, cruel, insulting, demeaning, petty, vain, and seemingly un-Christian. But Jesus says that she is cleansed, spotless, without blemish or wrinkle, beautiful and acceptable in every way. How I long for the Day when we will all see the Church as her Groom sees her. J.
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insanitybytes22 said:
LOL, sorry about that, Salvageable. I remember your post about your best friend’s bride. I found it encouraging because I was also struggling with this Bridezilla thing. 🙂
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Mel Wild said:
“I always want to say, you do realize you’re talking to someone who spent years singing “I’m a believer,” by the Monkees? I’m pretty sure God wrote that song of praise just for me to worship with. God can speak to anyone, anywhere.”
Haha…I’m with you! I grew up with my brother’s collection of Bob Dylan (“the answer is blowin’ in the wind”), and getting my systematic theology from the Beatles, “All you need is love.” Oddly, it still seems to work for me. 🙂
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Desdi said:
I am glad I stumbled on (against?) this post today !
I had to tie my horse to it and read a bit ☺
(Sometimes I still feel a real disconnect from those who have known nothing else . . .)
YES ! I feel this way also. Quibbling over the frozen communion-cubes ha ha ha ha !
Churchianity (sigh.) Those church-ladies need to read Dostoyevski’s ‘Grand Inquisitor’ and then get back to their cold bread.
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