Sigh. So Dalrock really has it out for Mary Kassian and has yet another post called, “Guarding her Equality.” I must say, the more I read of this woman, the more I find myself pleased with what she is saying. It really is a shame that whenever Christian women teach something lovely about marriage, something scriptural, they often come under attack by those I call Orcs.
So Dal-Orc appears to have now declared war on complementarians on account of the fact that it is a marriage system “too equal,” that perceives women as actual people who exist in symbiosis with men. It is hard to mistake what the man is actually saying since he has gone and doubled down on the dumb half a dozen times here.
I must say however, that Mary Kassian once again nails it. Happy, healthy marriages are those were women feel cherished, delighted in, and so women have no need to constantly compete for equality. She speaks of how good husbands guard your equality and says, “I am left with the impression that he regards my desires and interests as more important than his own, and I feel cherished.”
Hallelejuah! Amen. All in good fun here, but who wants “equality” when you can have protected, cherished, and delighted in? A marriage were two people regard the other’s desires and interests as more important than your own, kind of captures the nature and essence of sacrifical love. Like it or not, having a family requires a lot of service and sacrifice. One thing that really helps wives to feel loved is when we know we are heard, ie, our desires and interests actually matter to you. A marriage where a husband displays he has absolutely no interest in your needs, wants, and desires can be very painful for women, it is blatent evidence of contempt.
When one is perceived as an object of contempt, inferior, not worth listening too, it tends to cause depression, and if one is smart, eventual defiance and anger. Women begin to fight for “equality” becasue we have been devalued, dismissed, demeaned. No one fights for equality becasue they have been too cherished, too valued, too heard.
Dalrock’s main objection here is that he wants to blame feminism on women’s alleged rebellion, our innately sinful ways that supposedly exist completely in a vacuum, outside the context of men. There was just this mysterious void one day, all these perfect men in the world treating women ever so kindly, when suddenly female rebellion just sprung forth. Baloney. Men and women exist in symbiosis with one another. Rebellious and defiant women are not born, they are made. That rankles I’m sure, becasue it implies that the male gender bears some responsibility for what has been created in the world.
With responsibity comes authority. Those who cannot take responsibility are condemned to spend their days trying to tear down their Christian sisters who are actually doing something productive in the world. It is false to promote the idea that authority is about trying to make others feel small, so that in comparision your pathetic little self won’t feel so threatened. One does not build oneself up by trying to pluck the jewels out of someone else’s crown.