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A bit an ancient wisdom from long-lost womanhood used to be the idea of never competing with men. We are far above such things and would never dream of getting ourselves dirty by mucking around with men and their silly games. Women don’t compete with men, we are far more like cats, content in the knowledge of our vast superiority and purring away.

Women of old understood that the goal was to get men fighting FOR you, not WITH you. By fighting FOR you, I do not mean physically or by having to forever earn your respect, I mean we seek and desire men’s protection and provision. We wish to be someone they cherish, protect, and serve. We want them to fight for the preservation of relationship and connection.

These are quaint, old-fashioned, notions, but they work well in the context of biology, so naturally the culture has worked hard to erase any feminine wisdom that might remain, instead creating this strange utopian vision of egalitarianism, envy, and perpetual gender competition.

Don’t compete. I am not speaking of all the delight to be found in a good water fight or perhaps a coed game of softball. There is nothing wrong with a bit of playfulness, as long as everybody understands we are playing and enjoying one another’s company. Men and women however, should not be competing with one another for attention, for approval, for recognition, for status. We should be so strong and self-assured in our own selves, so aware of our own innate worth and value as different people, that we would no more compete with one another than dogs and cats do.

Biology recognizes this, and while biology is not always so politically correct, women truly do seek alliances with men, our own survival is closely linked to their willingness to protect and provide. In the reproductive equation, women can go it alone in having children, but it is not ideal, not emotionally, not financially, not in any way, shape or form. Even in the absence of children, men serve a vital and valuable purpose, companionship, intimacy, provision. Provision not necessarily being a financial thing at all, but emotional and spiritual provision, too.

I read a little didy from a young  guy the other day, dating, who said, “I can’t compete with her.” We aren’t supposed to be! It’s the wrong mindset entirely and one I totally blame the culture for having indoctrinated us with. People compete for resources, for status, for power. We perceive those who threaten us as rivals. That is not a healthy way to start a relationship, mostly because it reveals our own insecurities, our own unfulfilled needs, and you wind up dating your competitor, your potential rival. Men and women are supposed to be working together, creating alliances, complimenting and lifting one another up. We go forth together and conquer, as allies.