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biology, culture, gender, gifts, memories, men and women, opinion, relationships
There once was a little boy named David, with a striped cap and a perpetual runny nose. He was a bit disgusting, chronically dirty hands, always wiping his nose on his coat sleeve. I was a melancholy kid, cynical, skeptical, and I observed David from as far away as possible. Whatever dude, you just orbit on your little planet over there and stay out of my universe.
David of course, constantly wanted my attention. He would call out, “look at me, I can walk on a log!” I wasn’t overly impressed because I’d mastered walking upright long ago. He’d say, “hey, do you want to watch me rub dirt in my hair?” Uh, sure, whatever makes you happy.
One day David brought me a gift, the coolest thing ever, or so he said. I held out my hand, looked in his eyes and saw such sweetness, such adoration, that I didn’t even notice what he put it in my hand. They say our eyes are the window to our soul and for just a moment I think I caught a glimpse of David’s soul. At that moment I realized that people are far more than their exteriors, that this disgusting little boy had a higher self….. somewhere under all that snot.
When I looked down at my hand I was holding the longest, deadest, earth worm I’d ever seen. “I want you to have him,” he said. “Uh, thank you,” I told him. David was absolutely beaming, as if he had accomplished some great task. “You can keep him forever,” he said. My mind was busy trying to figure out how I was going to dispose of this thing as quickly as possible, without him knowing about it. I wanted to throw it in the bushes, drop it an run away, but I didn’t. Something compelled me to recognize the sacrificial nature of this gift, the love behind it. Although I didn’t understand at the time, I knew something sweet and precious had just transpired.
I also realized that boys and girls are so vastly different, it’s sometimes questionable if we even belong to the same species. Even in the grown up world of men and women, I have, on numerous occasions, been compelled to point out as gently as possible, girls just don’t share your same excitement for earth worms. Or spark plugs. Or having dirt rubbed in their hair. It’s very hard for us to see those displays of peacockery and the sacrificial little acts of love hidden in there. It’s simply not our world.
Biology can be a bit cruel. If you want to be coldly clinical about it, much of men’s value in the biological equation, lies in their expendability. That’s a harsh reality to face, but the sacrificial nature of men has a great deal to do with our success and continuation as a species. If men were not willing to go hunt, to fight wars, to lay treasures at our feet, women would never have the safety, the security, and the protection needed to produce children.
In another cruel twist of biology, that sacrificial nature of men is not so easy for many women to see. We sort of have to feel it rather than see it, and even than it doesn’t always register properly. This serves a purpose, we’re supposed to focus on our children, ourselves, our own survival, because that is the prime directive when it comes to the perpetuation of the species. Yes, women can be a bit self absorbed at times. It’s not entirely our fault.
Biology however, is not all we are, nor is it the only factor that rules human behavior. My plea today is that more girls grow up and learn to see the sacrificial nature of men, to show some respect for it, and to learn how to pour honor into them. From where I’m standing, it’s just not looking so good these days and men are kind of a vital part of the equation.
Paul said:
Ha! I do agree IB. I was sitting in the hospital the other day (just regular treatment) when a female Paramedic came into the room and walked over to the nurse. They apparently knew each other and began to chat. The nurse was obviously pregnant and the topic turned to havng children. The Paramedic announced that she had decided to have a baby, and the nurse’s response was “Have you chosen a sperm donor yet?” Ha! The Paramedic laughed and said she was engaged, so yes she had. Tsk, Tsk, you women always objectifying our bodies.
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Doobster418 said:
Ah, our value lies in our expandability and yet we are a vital part of the equation. I see.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Bit of a paradox, hey doobster? 🙂
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Doobster418 said:
Nothing like a good paradox to spur the intellect, right IB?
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insanitybytes22 said:
Yes, I’m rather fond of paradoxes. It never ceases to amaze me how two opposing things can be correct at the same time.
Relationships between men and women are nothing but one paradox and conundrum after another, but in this particular instance, just because men’s expendability has biological value, doesn’t mean we should necessarily expend them. 🙂
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Tim Shey said:
A man’s love for a women is a sacrificial love—just like Christ’s sacrificial love for His church.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Oh, amen to that! It’s really a lovely design when you take it apart and analyze it. The beauty, the wisdom of that design, is something that never ceases to amaze and delight me. There’s a kind of mirroring that happens, one reflection after another, and when they’re all lined up properly, it’s simply awesome.
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Tim Shey said:
Also a man wants respect from his wife. I need respect more than I need love. I have all the love I need from my heavenly Father. I am not downplaying love or trying to be macho, but I need respect more than love.
Ephesians 5: 33: “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
Ephesians 5: 23-28: “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.”
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insanitybytes22 said:
It’s really a beautiful teaching, one that often stirs up so much needless controversy.
One of the problems I see in our world today is that so many women don’t understand that men need respect to feel loved. Not only don’t we teach it much anymore, the world teaches us the exact opposite.
It’s yet another paradox, and therefore hard to teach, and yet if you can just surrender all, you stand to gain the whole world.
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One Gentleman said:
Interesting. I have to ask, how many others were you able to convert from their misguided ways? Lol
I actually enjoy reading your point of view for many reasons, but the most important comes down to your level of explaining with logic. My wife knows very well, how much I appreciate others who practice the art of logical explanation. Any person can talk, but not everyone decides to explain with logic. Thank you for being you. I came across a blog today and I shared your page with her. You guys may know one another, but here is the link nonetheless. It is great seeing women who do not view men as the enemy. The YouTube videos and nonsense I see elsewhere, it is far different than yours.
http://judgybitch.com
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insanitybytes22 said:
LOL, I doubt I have ever had a convert. A conflict, yes, convert, not so much. At this point the goal is just to hang on and perhaps support others who are trying to hang on. The world seems to have gone a bit insane and the clowns are now running the asylum, so about the best we can do is to try and sort through the confusion. Thanks for the link 🙂
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outstandingbachelor said:
Very well written article.
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Tricia said:
I really like the sentiments expressed here IB. Even though it was written two years ago, they seem even more prevalent now during these bizarre times of denial over basic male/female biology. I like the fact too that there may be an important reason for my self absorbed tendencies….;)
I notice comments from Doobster above. I miss him!
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