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Honor is to “regard with great respect.” Who? Yourself!
It’s a concept that has plagued men for centuries. I say “men” because honor is simply something different in women, something more along the lines of empathy or charity.
I say it has plagued men for centuries because it has, because honor has never been an easy thing to cultivate. The world is not very good at rewarding honor. In the modern world, we watch people become successful by lying, cheating, acting like thugs, and often getting themselves elected to public office.
Where is the pay off in honor? Good guys always finish last! In the mediated reality we call culture, we see a lot of thuggery and women pursuing it, as if it is some desirable quality in men. The most tweeted photo by women recently was of a good-looking felon with turquoise eyes. Kanye West comes to mind, people see his success, his wealth, his women, and think what the heck is going on there??
Honor is a somewhat irrational thing, in terms of it doesn’t always get you want you want immediately. That’s a real problem in our culture right now, we measure success with external things and we want quick results. Honor is a long-term investment requiring some sacrifice and often it will appear as if you are finishing last, while those with no honor harvest all the goodies.
When push comes to shove however, and everything else has fallen away, your own honor, your ability to “regard yourself with great respect” is a powerful tool. It is all you need and sometimes all you will have.
When I read these churchian gamers and some of the red pills, that is what screams out at me the loudest, all these men desperately seeking their honor, arguing with themselves over whether or not honor has any value, trying to define themselves by what they perceive women want. It shouldn’t really be about women at all however, it should be about you. How you treat women who are often smaller, weaker, and sometimes even more confused than you are, is certainly a piece of the puzzle, but it begins with you.
Honor is a virtue you cultivate for yourself, because it is what speaks to who you are as a person. Honor is what defines YOU, not anyone else. It is where you find your authentic power, not the false bravado we often see on TV, but the real deal.
Your honor really matters. It is vitally important. It should be your work, your mission in life, to cultivate the ability to regard yourself with great respect. That concept seems to be getting lost in many places and it’s kind of sad because people are seeking external solutions for what is an internal problem and that will lead to nothing but despair and unhappiness.
Honor is not fragile like Venetian glass, it has genuine bouncibility, completely unrelated to those whose egos are so fragile, they must have everyone around them walk on eggshells. Honor is worth cultivating because it gives you a resilience that is simply unshakable.
Trish said:
I love this. I tell my kids to make every decision in life asking themselves how what they will think of it when they are 90…will they feel good about how they conducted themselves?
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insanitybytes22 said:
Yes! It really matters when you’re 90. We have some of the best 90 years olds around here, people who genuinely make you want to serve them because they are just so wonderful. They haven’t got their youth or money or even good health, but they have their honor and it just draws people to them.
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Trish said:
Exactly…I think I learned this from my elderly patients! I love them!!
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irtfyblog said:
Your post made me laugh because it brought to mind a phrase from an old Western movie where one of the characters remarked:
“Honor is about who can draw the gun faster…nothing more…nothing less.” – lol.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Ha! That quote really encapsulates the entire problem so well.
In the Christian context I think of Peter, he pulls out his sword and lops off a guy’s ear…but he goes on to deny Christ 3 times before the rooster crows. That is the thing about honor, it’s a bit more complicated then just being the fastest gun in the west.
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Eric said:
The late Mike Royko, one of the last representatives of honor in the American media, once said this:
“I never went to a John Wayne movie to find a philosophy to live by or to absorb a profound message. I went for the simple pleasure of spending a couple of hours seeing the bad guys lose.”
That really encapsulates the idea of a masculine code of honor. It’s simply a matter of doing right for the sake of doing right—and if anyone remembers him, Royko really followed that belief. He was nearly killed several times exposing government corruption and organized crime.
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ColorStorm said:
Honor is a long term investment………. what a great thing to say in this world of fast food this, instant that, speedy this, zippy that, etc.
Investment. Like a sacred trust, a banking term suggesting mental, emotional, and spiritual stability; yeah, like we can get this at the drive thru in 3 minutes.
God bless you insanitybytes 😉
(have a few similarities too in my latest post)
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I am Sorrow said:
Reblogged this on Journey of Compassion.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Thank you for the reblog 😉
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I am Sorrow said:
Thank you! I had a miserable day! I’m an honorable person, today it was tested beyond endurance. My honor kept me from doing something other than the right action. Lisbet
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Wally Fry said:
If my tombstone reads:
Here lies a Godly, honorable man
I would consider my life well lived. And a Godly, honorable life might let us hear those words….well done, good and faithful servant.
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Paul said:
Well done IB. I agree 100%. To me honor is putting the fate of others above yourself. For this to have the maximum meaning, you have to honor yourself first – that is to say that you have to put your faith above your physical best interests. The real-world model for the movie “A Beautiful Mind”, won a Nobel Prize for proving that humans, at their best, will put the greater good above personal gain – that we have honor. As a trait it speaks clearly to the belief that the maximum value for a human can be achieved by acting with the faith that we are all as one – certainly a big step closer to godliness.
So, to me godliness and honor are on the same path. As such the payoff is long term – as in we will be judged at the end of this life and that judgement will determine how we proceed in the bigger picture that goes beyond our mere physical existence. This is the anti-thesis of the instant gratification that so well defines much of today’s culture.
Excellent post IB. Thank You.
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Emma the Emo said:
I don’t know what others want to cultivate, but I prefer to cultivate principles. Personal rules of morality. I view them from a selfish point of view. I don’t have them for others, I have them for myself. That’s because someone who stands for nothing, will fall for anything 😉 Principles give you determination and strength, and can’t be taken from you like everything else can (sure you can lose your mind, but that’s different). And I think it makes bad people with less conviction steer clear of you.
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adamjasonp said:
Reblogged this on The Dependent Independent and commented:
Brilliant post, IB.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Thank you for the reblog 😉
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superslaviswife said:
Even psychopaths have a moral code that they obey, if only because it leaves their honour intact. It may not be a code we consider rational or ethical, but it’s there. To reject honour on the basis that it gives you no material reward is to reject one of the only ways you can harbour respect and love for yourself in favour of cold hard cash that you may not even access.
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ramakrishnan6002 said:
Reblogged this on Gr8fullsoul.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Thank you for the reblog, much appreciated. 😉
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