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faith, healing, hope, insanitibytes22, love, spiritual abuse, testimony
First read this article by RickThomas, “Spiritual Abuse – When It Is Time To Leave.” I really like his stuff, his insights, his healing words.
I was spiritually abused, but not in the church at all, outside of it, by atheism. That probably sounds a bit odd, as if to say “atheists don’t have a religion so they can’t possibly spiritually abuse anyone.” I assure you, they have a “religion” and they can be horrifically abusive, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. I grew up with that abuse and it nearly destroyed me. I really am a, “but for the grace of God” survivor of some intense childhood emotional and spiritual abuse….at the hands of atheists.
The thing about physical abuse is that it just pales in comparison. By far, emotional and spiritual abuse is so much worse because you cannot see it, there are no obvious bruises on the outside, and often it is cloaked in a velvet glove of so called good intentions, allegedly for your own good. I only seek to completely annihilate your spirit, to murder your very soul, to take you hostage…..because I want what’s best for you……
Flat out, emotional and spiritual abuse is so serious that the outcome, the end result is often going to be murder or suicide. When you break someone down far enough and they truly hit bottom, survival kicks in and there’s only two options, fight or flight. Either I’m checking out of the Hotel California,…. or you are.
No need to feel sorry for me, God has had the last laugh, and those experiences have brought me to faith in way nothing else ever could. It’s also given me a heart for those who have been abused, but especially a heart for those who have been spiritually abused, which ironically happens outside of the church nearly as much as it happens within it.
With physical abuse we can patch you up, heal the body rather quickly, but emotional and spiritual abuse often require years of delicate heart and brain surgery, tiny thorns painfully dug out. Fortunately there is a Great Physician who specializes in the very thing and He does good work, the best I’ve ever seen, really.
I kind of pride myself on the resulting strength, the beauty of those scars, the healing work the Lord did. Not the unhealthy kind of pride, but just some delight and joy in that healing and some confidence that, never again will I be a victim of that kind of spiritual abuse, but I sure was.
I mention that because sometimes we have this idea that abuse only happens to those who are vulnerable, people who are weak in some way. In truth, sometimes it is the strong, independent ones who are in the most danger of being abused because we assume it could never happen to us, and we don’t know how to quit. Like, this is uncomfortable and feels a bit icky, I think I’ll just walk away now, said absolutely no spiritual warrior, ever.
So I did, about 15 yrs ago, I managed to get myself all spiritually abused, yoked by unbelievers, surrounded on all sides. The thing about abuse is that it’s usually not coming from strangers, but rather from people you love deeply, people you are invested in. Family, friends, spouses, employers, children. Or I suppose, a beloved church family, although that’s not my story at all.
Rick says, “The abused person is shell-shocked. Their energy is gone. The soul drains. They are the victims of a verbally pummeling that leads to spiritual defeat. In most situations like these, the abused does not know what happened until it has already happened.”
That is precisely what happened to me. The Lord just woke me up one day and pointed out, you’re in a lot of trouble here, “the abused does not know what happened until it has already happened.” Literally my energy was gone, I was shell-shocked, jumpy, prone to anxiety, often tearful, unable to think clearly. I had been eaten by so many little foxes, little foxes I loved dearly, nibbling away at me, that I was just a shell. Every insult, every eye roll, every “your faith is stupid, your faith is delusional, I hate your religion,” had taken its toll on me, it had worn me down.
I was quite surprised to discover, I had all the characteristics of a battered wife, something I was quite familiar with having seen it often enough, I just never thought to see it in myself.
The Lord said, okay you need to step away from every single spiritually abusive relationship right now. I of course did not promptly obey those instructions, because there just wasn’t enough energy left, but every one of those relationships was severed without me lifting a finger, something that makes me laugh today. A good lesson there, the Lord is not dependent on our obedience at all. If He wants something to happen, it will happen with or without our cooperation. You can just call me Jonah, there.
I sure wasn’t laughing at the time, however. It is no fun to hear, okay you’re done with this job, these childhood friends are now out of your life, these parts of the family are no longer a part of your reality, and once that is all done, now we take the time to repair the damage, to build you backup. I did manage to keep my eyes on the Lord however, I did trust in Him, and what He began, He did finish.
Spiritually abused by atheism, probably not quite what Rick intended when he wrote his post, but I assure you it’s quite real, as anyone who has encountered atheist abuse on the internet can probably attest to. When you are a child, or those people are people you are invested in, people you love, you have a potentially dangerous situation, one where it is very easy to empathize, when you should be standing tall, and standing tall when you should be surrendering to the truth, and speaking it out loud.
The bible speaks of this, it warns us, be careful about being unequally yoked to unbelievers, but like most things in life, apparently I have had to live it out in order to learn it. “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14.
The cure for an unequal yoke of any kind, is to put more good Christians in your Body of Christ.
See, there's this thing called biology... 
Amen! That kind of abuse is like the proverbial boiling of a frog in the pan… it’s gradual but ultimately kills you. Definitely wonderful that God brought you out safely! So thankful on your behalf! God bless you, dear IB! Keep speaking the Truth! You’re awesome! ❤
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Thanks, Lynn. Your encouragement is much appreciated. 🙂
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Is there such a thing as a husband being “maritally abused”? (raising my hand vigorously)
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Yes, totally Doug. There are men who are physically abused, too.
Something that always surprises me, a lot of spiritual abusers are actually women. Not always, but in general women tend to be more skilled at more passive tactics, like psychological abuse.
Kind of funny, the Apostle Paul created quite a bit of controversy about writing to one church, how women shouldn’t teach. I can think of a dozen women right off the bat who probably shouldn’t be teaching, because all they ever do is tear people down. It never really occurs to us that the Apostle Paul may have been addressing something very similar.
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I like the cure you named at the end of the post, IB. We all need that.
I would guess that the atheist spiritual abuse is only going to get worse, what with the idea (from Dawkins, I think) that atheists should just mock any Christians who won’t get reasoned out of their faith.
Wow, I know some who have taken that advice to heart!
Becky
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“I really am a, “but for the grace of God” survivor of some intense childhood emotional and spiritual abuse….at the hands of atheists.”
I do not know you, however I take what you say as a grain of salt. I have never heard of this kind of abuse from an atheist in over 50 years, however I can understand from your blogs you are an extremely emotional person and to have an atheist telling you there is no gods I expect would upset you emotionally, and a lot more than most children.
I may be wrong and maybe your parents made you study Darwin and the “On the Origin Of Species” book every week for a couple of hours and for hours they would constantly teach you about biological evolution and the big bang with Stephen Hawking’s books and dragged you along to scientific shows and atheist rally’s and meetings on a weekly basis. They of course would have insisted you close your eyes to spare a thought and a moment of silence while kneeling in respect for Darwin or Hawking before you went to bed every night. On top of that they would say how deluded all religious people are, because the evidence of no gods existing is clear and no heaven or hell existed.
This I agree would do anybody’s head in, never mind a child. In religious terms this sort of child indoctrination includes the assistance of almost the whole community, religious home schooling and church ministers is what many kids have to suffer today, therefore if your experience was so terrible and traumatic you would understand the dilemma of intense childhood emotional and spiritual abuse at the hands of theists such as yourself, would you not?
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I’m sure the good lady will not mind my .02, but I want to say this to you while it is fresh.
Atheism IS THE ABUSE, like it or not. It is a complete denial of reality which spends all its energy on the relevance of the clay pot, while ignoring the Master Potter. It is a breach of trust in Intelligence, while substituting itself as the answer to all questions, while ignoring He who asks the finest of questions, such as:
WHERE WERE YOU when heaven and earth was created? You may want to think about that. And if you need more proof of the abuse, just read the comments of your kin (and yours) who spend every waking hour trying to kill and destroy the faith of good people. Atheism is that ugly poison of humanity which infects goodness, so yeah, you want to talk about delusion?
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“Atheism IS THE ABUSE, like it or not. It is a complete denial of reality”
I would take a guess CS that everything that does not agree with your world view is in the same category.
Some of the previously Christian dominated countries that have lost a large population of theists to non-belief or atheism, include Norway, France, Australia and New Zealand with a self-declared atheist Prime Minister and they are all doing very well for a complete denial of reality.
For a start, these countries are not perfect, however they do not have a school shooting almost every week, they mostly have a decent public hospital system, has less criminals per capita than the US, an effective education system and mostly a stable government, the same things that Americans are always complaining about.
“WHERE WERE YOU when heaven and earth was created? You may want to think about that.”
Seriously, you expect me to remember this? I was thinking about it, but I struggle to remember what happened yesterday😊
“just read the comments of your kin (and yours) who spend every waking hour trying to kill and destroy the faith of good people.”
You are so self-righteous, I expect you dream of sitting at your Gods table as a celebrity. I am friendly with most of the theists I have met, and they do not think I am representing the ugly poison of humanity who infects goodness, so I would say you are out on a limb with the rest of your exclusive brothers on this delusional attitude.
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I pity you, your thoughts and comments.
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Steve so in the past you have claimed the position as spokesman for the ” real atheiests.” Now you have the hubris to tell Colorstorm what his brethren think of him? Wow
Atheism is the abuse. It is the poison killing all who reject. Get over it
See? Despite your declaration that our friend stands alone..
You have been proven wrong yet again
May you have zero peace in your puny failings
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Skyljd can’t see it of course, but the words he has laid on people are actually unkind and potentially abusive. Like in 50 yrs he’s never seen atheists abuse anyone? I must just be an “overly emotional person,” not like the other children? So complete denial and blaming the victim. Then he proceeds to add on a whole bunch of other words, like “delusional, crazy, and indoctrinated.” Then he tries to make Christians smaller, you’re just a theist with a (wrong) worldview. Then for good measure we move onto self-righteous, “you dream of sitting at your Gods table as a celebrity,” so basically you just think too highly of yourself.
After all is said and done what we have is actually called gas lighting, an attempt to make a victim feel as if there is something wrong with their perceptions and something wrong with them personally. You’re not being abused, you’re just a defective unit.
So when I encounter a Christian talking about the spiritual abuse they may have suffered at the hands of Christians, my response is usually something along the lines of, “I’m sorry that happened to you, it’s not your fault, and God loves you.”
And that’s the real difference between Christians and atheists. Christians tend to be focused on other-centered love, atheists tend to be focused on themselves.
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I’m sure you agree msb that our perceptions are rather good, filtered through decency, intelligence, and above all, the truth of scripture.
Isn’t is so apparent that the void that we see in the commenting by unbelievers is in fact that great gulf, which the littlegodscience cannot bridge.
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Ok let us put it this way, I did point out the tools atheists have to abuse children with, such as books on Biology and evolution, books written by scientists and the prominent atheists of our world and atheist meetings etc.
Where is the abuse from these evil items? How do they project the same negative psychological effects of being born a sinner, or the invisible super man who may send you to hell if you do not worship him and behave yourself for the rest of your life, and then state that this God loves you?
In fact, the only effect an atheist upbringing can do is give a child a proper scientific education and give them a chance to make something of themselves.
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Lol so Christian kids can’t make anything of themselves?
That’s a falsehood, an untruth, a broad sweeping generalization with no basis in fact.
To tell a child that their faith would prevent them from making something of themselves would actually be abusive.
Thus you have proven the post
Well done
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I’m glad by the grace of God you are a survivor and a testimony of God’s saving Grace with your background of atheism’s spiritual abuse…
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Amen, Slim.The Lord has been kind to me, indeed. He leaves no one behind either.
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Word!
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Sure glad The Lord rescued you IB
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Good word, IB. Spiritual abuse is anything that would wound the human spirit, and atheists denying that we even have a soul or spirit is certainly abuse in and of itself. They must make our world small and closed, sucking all the wonder, beauty, and transcendence out of life, dismissing human identity as mere animals enslaved to our DNA, and devaluing humankind that God has given infinite value. That’s abuse of the worst kind.
Just like with my music, I don’t like anything that “ain’t got no soul.” 🙂
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Just like with my music, I don’t like anything that “ain’t got no soul.”
LOL! Love that. 🙂
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Gabriella, this is quite true. I experience abuse myself from my own family who is quite liberal and left-leaning. They often times think that my stances on religion are too extreme. When I am asked religious questions, there is even the “forbidden list of words” which would describe perfectly in answer to their questions they have. We do not even talk religion any more. It is just taboo and that is quite a good solution.
These atheists are wicked monsters who constantly distort Truth and then lay out indictments against Christians which are not true calling us things like “pedo-defenders” and what-not.
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I’m so sorry about the abuse you suffer. It can get pretty brutal, especially hard because family are people we are designed to care about. Then they refuse to return the favor. Arrggg……;)
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