Tags
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. -Ephesians 5:28
As you can see, “men love yourselves” is practically a commandment. We aren’t talking about the superficial, narcissistic selfie kind of love that we often see today, but the real deal, the authentic kind. The kind that often happens when you come to Christ, when you avail yourself of forgiveness and grace and come to perceive yourself as God does, as someone having such worth and value, He died for you. You now have royal blood in you. Lay your flaws down at the foot of the cross and love yourself.
The importance of, “men, love yourselves” cannot be underestimated, because it is from your own ability to love yourself that you are going to be able to love others. When it comes to marriage it is absolutely vital, because men who do not love themselves cannot give honor to their wives and their very prayers will be hindered. I know a guy who puts it much more crudely, “everything I touch seems to turn to crap.” To put it bluntly, he doesn’t love himself and so he tends to just treat his wife as more, “crap he has touched.” Trust me, nothing ever goes right for these two.
“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” 1 Peter 3:7
If you do not love yourself, your very prayers will be hindered. Now obviously these passages refer to marriage and I am rather self-serving here, as in I have a desire to see happy marriages, and “men love yourselves” is the fastest way to get there. However, I think the idea applies to all men, single, divorced, widowed, men love yourselves. It has the power to change the whole world.
So in the real world there are a whole lot of women who fall for men who do not love themselves. There are many reasons for that, we are attracted to wounded birds, we think we can change him, we think we can save him, we think we are the one he’s been waiting for, or we’ve gone and confused dominance with just plain brokenness. Arrogance is not self love and bullies seldom love themselves. Also, if he’s in jail a lot or addicted to drugs, he is NOT a man who is practicing the art of men love yourselves.
If you want him to love you, he must learn to love himself first.
Women cannot make men love themselves. Oh, but we’ll often die trying, literally. When I was working with domestic violence victims I came to realize that there are no laws, no legislation we can pass that will ever protect women from the men who cannot or will not love themselves. And we cannot really teach women how to avoid men who cannot love themselves either, because women are simply too vulnerable there. There is biology at play, psychic bonds, broken women. “Teach women how not to be victims” is as ridiculous as trying to “teach men not be perpetrators.” Both approaches mis-identify the problem, and try to apply a solution that doesn’t exist, to some stereotypes we just made up.
If you truly wish to help women, the fastest way to do that is to teach men to love themselves. That is somewhat counter-intuitive, but it is scriptural. There is some research too, that suggests there is truth there. Churches will often invest the most money and resources into youth ministry, children’s ministry, women’s ministry, outreach to the poor, but if you want the biggest bang for your buck, you simply invest in the men. Men’s ministry.
When you study systems you discover that if you invest in men, the women soon follow, and then the children. And then the economy. And then the entire health of the whole community. It’s not a politically correct concept, but it’s true. If you try to reach the children perhaps they’ll bring along mom at some point, but it’s rare. It’s also rare that women ever lead men to church, not impossible, but far less common. People have watched this happen in some Native American communities, invest in the men….and than the women come to see what’s going on and soon the children, and they all begin to follow along. You want to devastate a community, you simply reverse it, remove men’s place in the equation, take away jobs, create a situation where it is difficult for men, love yourselves to flourish.
Women can have a very reflective nature, we will mirror what is going on around us. Reflect and multiply. It’s kind of sad, but the one thing we really cannot do is to teach men, love yourselves. That is a harsh truth and it tends to irritate a lot of people. Many women don’t like to admit we are powerless there and many men don’t like to admit loving themselves is entirely their responsibility, a responsibility that has far-reaching consequences.
One tiny little bit of scripture really will reveal the keys to the kingdom, the secrets behind human behavior, “He that loveth his wife loveth himself.” No loveth himself, no loveth anyone else either.
Paul said:
Very true IB. Well said.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Paul said:
As an aside IB, I just did a guest post over at Mark Bialczak’s https://markbialczak.com/2016/05/29/the-secret-service/comment-page-1/#comment-80109 If you have the time to drop by, I would be honored. Thank You.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wally Fry said:
That really hit home IB. For years I never felt validated or appreciated, least of all by myself. So, I spent 25 years trying to validate myself through a woman who simply could not. Obviously, that is not a healthy relationship.
Now, as you pointed out, my love for Jesus results in love for me and validation through Him. Now, I am not seeking it through any person, and volia! I have a functional, healthy relationship.
Read the instruction manual..duh
Nicely said IB.
LikeLiked by 1 person
insanitybytes22 said:
I love that, Wally. God is good to us, isn’t He? That instruction manual is full of wisdom and if we just read it, things can go a lot smoother for us.
LikeLiked by 1 person
TT said:
Yes!
LikeLike
TT said:
Reblogged this on In through One door and out the other and commented:
It is so important that a person loves himself or herself, because we cannot reflect God’s love if we don’t care for ourselves. It’s something with which we all struggle because everyone has some sort of issue or soapbox or irritant, but we all need to hear a kind work and encouragement to help us to keep stepping forward.
LikeLiked by 1 person
insanitybytes22 said:
Thank you for the reblog, much appreciated. 🙂
LikeLike
Citizen Tom said:
It is a strange thought. God loves the least among us, whoever they may be, but some of us don’t love ourselves. The Being who created the universe can see value in us, enough to love us, but even though we are that person we cannot.
I have heard an old preacher, now dead for decades, describe heaven as a place where everyone would love him. The old guy did not have an inferiority complex; he just expressed a need we all have. We each need to love someone, but we all want to be loved. We want affirmation that we have value. Yet Jesus has already given us that affirmation. We just need to listen.
We each need to remember is what it means to be a Christian.
We are unfinished works. Clumps of clay being prepared for the kiln. What beauty we already have we owe to our Maker, but He has more to do.
LikeLiked by 2 people
insanitybytes22 said:
So well said,Tom. I sometimes like to say, “Christ didn’t die just to get you into heaven, He died to get a little heaven into you.” We are unfinished works, but we are His soil and the kingdom is within us already.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Vincent S Artale Jr said:
Reblogged this on Talmidimblogging.
LikeLiked by 1 person
insanitybytes22 said:
Thank you 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Vincent S Artale Jr said:
You’re very welcome!
LikeLike
bill theunfetteredpreacher cote said:
powerful word of truth, thanks. reblogging at http://theunfetteredpreacher
LikeLiked by 1 person
insanitybytes22 said:
Thank you for the reblog 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
OKRickety said:
“When you study systems you discover that if you invest in men, the women soon follow, and then the children. And then the economy. And then the entire health of the whole community.”
Who has done such studies, and where can I find them?
LikeLike
Pedat Ebediyah said:
Not only that, who is investing in men in this generation, or the past two generations?
So I’d be interested in those studies as well, because if those studies employed the Scientific Method, then their findings have not been communicated (published), nor have they been embraced or implemented in any place in the known universe.
LikeLike
insanitybytes22 said:
I would provide links to such studies, but since both of you pillians suffer from such cognitive dissonance, it wouldn’t do me a bit of good. You will simply believe what you wish to believe and see what you wish to see.
Meanwhile, in the real world, some of us are busy enjoying life. 🙂
LikeLike
OKRickety said:
It’s interesting that you consider me a “pillian”, but describe me as blue pill. That is, I “will simply believe what” I “wish to believe and see what” I “wish to see”.
In fact, I do not see what I wish to see. I think you’re in the same position.
LikeLike
insanitybytes22 said:
I never said anything about you being blue pill. In fact, I don’t believe in such nonsense at all. I called you a pillian because that is the group of people you have aligned yourself with, which is evidenced by your rhetoric.
LikeLike
OKRickety said:
I wasn’t as clear as I intended. You did not say I was blue pill, but you described me with phrases that would put me in the blue pill category (for those who believe in such things). I presumed you would understand that, since you say you have made extensive study on the manosphere, etc.
I align myself with what I think is the truth. Sometimes that may fit with the manosphere, sometimes it doesn’t.
LikeLike
Pedat Ebediyah said:
Listen, all that was requested was for you to share your findings. What is the profit in responding like a smart-ass and a common lout?
All you had to do was provide the links and keep it moving. If the data convicts it convicts; your intercession is neither solicited or warranted.
LikeLike
insanitybytes22 said:
“What is the profit in responding like a smart-ass and a common lout?”
Why, to confirm your own biases about me, of course! I wouldn’t want you out saying unkind things about me without providing you with adequate proof.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pedat Ebediyah said:
So, this suddenly became all about you and alleged biases against you as opposed to a request for your sources?
Okay, our resident Dodo Bird and cherry-picker, it’s all yours then.
LikeLike
OKRickety said:
Supposing IB has no links to support her claim, it’s far easier for IB to say she chooses not to provide the links, than it is to admit that she has none. Based on her track record, it’s far easier to presume this is the reality. In this case, I will believe what past evidence suggests is likely, and will do so unless IB provides evidence to refute that position.
LikeLike
janjoy52 said:
A wise and encouraging word that bears repeating! Reblogging ! ♡
LikeLike
Pingback: Men, love yourselves | janjoy52