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Do you ever feel completely invisible? Do your rights take a back seat to everyone else’s needs? Are you expected to be seen and not heard? Are your feelings disregarded, or worse yet, dismissed as insane, hysterical, hateful? Are you constantly labeled a crank, a karen, a nutcase? Anybody ever been really rude to you and then some helpful soul points out that the real problem is, you just need to smile more?

Well then, you just might be a woman after all!

All in good humor here, with no bitterness intended (yet another sign of being a woman) but that’s how I know you’re not really a female. Women actually don’t try to claim female dominance over the ladies bathroom. In fact, we often travel in pairs! Needing a bathroom buddy to hold our hand is a somewhat amusing and common characteristic of many girls, with some much darker realities behind it, some unpleasant biological truths hardwired right into us.

Absolutely no woman is going to get dressed up in heels and a ball gown, and go lament on camera about how they can’t get into the men’s room because someone is being a bigot. In fact transgender advocates don’t even do that. NOBODY is fighting for access to the MEN’S room. EVER. You all want in the women’s room, heck into her body, into her very skin, to consume her very persona and identity, even!

That is why you are not a woman.

Again, no bitterness! Do you hear me trying to take care of the feelings of anyone who might be reading my words? Do you hear my hesitation to not offend anyone? My concern that I not be perceived as complaining in a way that might make someone else uncomfortable? Again, all very female like behaviors, female like thinking patterns, female concerns. Of course we’re all a bit different, and we’re all bold in different ways, I’m just saying, THIS is why you are not a female!

A female is not really trying to be seen and perceived or to have her gender acknowledged and accepted by everyone else. In fact, often the precise opposite! It can be confusing because sexual mores come into play, so we want to be attractive, to be looking good, to be noticed, but on the other hand, we often need our gender to be forgotten, we need to be cloaked in a hoodie, wrapped in the safety of non descript, androgyny.

THIS, this is why I know you are not a woman.

Being a woman is not about drag queen shows, wigs and ball gowns, it is not about being big, bold, and beautiful, loud and proud. Those are all very masculine traits. That is male dominance, male peacockery on full display. Did you know it is the males who are the peacocks shaking their giant tail feathers? True story. Women are simply not loud and proud like that, not even the loud ones.

That’s how I know you’re not a female.

Women are also not likely to try to dominate sports and claim their territory, in quite the same competitive way that men do. When you see women trying to break into men’s sports, its because they had no other opportunity, no other options. Women don’t try to compete in men’s sports to be number one, they invade men’s spaces to have an opportunity to just play. Being number one isn’t even really on the radar. There is no trying to be top dog in some kind of dominance hierarchy.

How do I know you’re a mediocre male with a need to be top dog in your own imaginary dominance hierarchy? You invade and take over women’s sports to assuage and mollify your own masculinity.

That is how I know you are not a woman.

Don’t even get me started about all the pastors and theobros who proceed to just call real women born women, their sisters even, “sob sisters,” or “twinkies in tight tops” and slap each other on the back about the latest perverse analogy they’ve come up with about the sheer Divinity of male sexuality and how women just need to submit more. Publicly. These are just the parts they’ll say out loud, in front of everyone.

This is why you are not female.

Actual women can recognize the dudebro language of sexual violence. It’s the same darn thing whether it’s tripping off the lips of some guy in a ballgown or coming out of the mouth of a bunch of pastors. Y’all probably want six degrees of separation from woke weirdness, but I just see Sam Brinton as the child of Baptist missionaries, spouting the same perverse and vile sexual attitudes taught by the “faith” he has now allegedly “rejected.”

Why is blackface wrong but womanface is not? Where does your perverse caricature of womanhood even come from??

If you are male suddenly fancying himself “female,” YOU will get selected as the official representative for “International Women’s Day” on the Hersheys chocolate bar. You will be voted “Woman of the Year.” You will even be put in charge of nuclear waste for the whole country… at least until you start blatantly stealing women’s clothing right out of airports.

Lastly, I know you are not a woman because you are not punished in quite the same way I am. My glorious proclamation of all things feminine is likely to get kicked off of twitter and censored on wordpress and facebook. I’ll be rejected by feminists and the church alike.

I was born this way, I have little choice in the matter, but of course, the “born this way” rule suddenly doesn’t apply to me and and my kind. I sometimes joke, “men have never met a double standard they didn’t like.” Your attempt to stake claim to all of womanhood will probably just get you a political appointment and several government contracts. People will call you “so brave,” they will rally around your perceived victimhood, and nurture you like a lost little boy who must be forever defended and protected.

Heck, and half of those trying to protect and defend you while you steal our very identity, will be women themselves, always programmed to step in and rescue the lost and broken boys.

Women, they just become the problem, the haters, the bigots, the cranks who just won’t “get educated,” get with the program, accept the new narrative. Ironically, being women, a good chunk of us already have, we’ve surrendered, we’ve submitted, we’ve even rallied to protect and defend the lost little boys of the gender confusion wars, like the mothers we innately are. Hey, it’s cool, just take my gold medal, own the bathroom, borrow my dresses, and chest feed your babies. It’s all good, I’ll just continue to get changed on the front seat of my car. You take my locker room.

That’s how I know you are not female.

Even now my heart just aches for what we’ve done, for what we’ve allowed to happen, for how we’ve let our schools crank out children whose goal in life now is to just raise enough money to remove their genitals. Think about how insane that is, how tragic! I just wail in despair, they are so brainwashed, so young, and my anger about the complete disregard they show for the safety and well being of women born women, many who have already been traumatized, is tempered by my tears for the adult created, purposefully groomed young casualties of this culture war.

Don’t even get me started about a tone deaf and brain-dead church dominated by a bunch of prideful hyper masculinized wannabe, red pill pastors having a popularity contest to see who can spew the most click bait.

You haven’t got these scars. You don’t carry this kind of pain and you never will, no matter how many pills you take or how much surgery you have. Your pain will be your own, but it still won’t be the pain of a woman.

That is how I know you are not female.

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