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No, no I will not. Don’t tell me what kind of day to have, as the saying goes. More importantly, do not drone out the latest talking point like an automatron. If you’re going to do that, please just go, “baa-baa” like a sheep! At least that would get my attention, make me laugh, and feel refreshingly honest for a change.

You have no idea how much this phrase annoys me, nails on a chalkboard, I tell ya. It is much like, “the new normal” or “stay safe.” It is suddenly the mantra of bored retail clerks everywhere. It is not the same as a casual, “have a good day.” That is something quite different. It could be 2 AM, you could have just wrecked your car, and someone will automatically say, “have a nice rest of your day!”

No. Totally inappropriate. Way out of context.

I have a gift, a radar that will spot these meaningless mass consumption phrases from 75 miles away, whether I want to or not. “Have a nice rest of your day,” is clearly what young people have been recently taught to say, and it does not flow smoothly off the tongue! It is awkward and unnatural, so they often try to say it as quickly as possible. There is also visible relief once it has been faithfully uttered. I actually find myself comforting them after it is spoken and just hanging in the air. Look at you! You spit that horrid, awkward phrase out successfully! I am so proud of you. Good job.

Does anyone know when this even became a thing? I checked with the Google and apparently I am not the only one having a fit because it turned up 12,090,000,000 results. Ha! That actually surprised me. I am also pleased to find thousands of other people objecting strongly, from all over the world. There are some great debates about whether or not it is even proper grammar. Some people feel as if it is intimidating, like a subversive threat. It’s a bit like saying “have a nice life,” similar to how one might say, “well bless your heart.”

Have a nice rest of your day, it’s the last one you’re going to get……

Someone suggested it may be a phrase being taught in business, as if to say, your experience waiting in line for some lousy service is going to be quite miserable, but now you get to leave and enjoy the rest of your day! See, we’re just pointing you to something more hopeful, like when you no longer have to try to do business with us.

There is something really redundant about it, too. Like, of course you are speaking about the “rest” of one’s day. That is already implied or known. You can’t wish someone a pleasant past. You don’t need to make it clear that you mean some point in the future. I assume time is still moving in one direction? One never knows these days exactly what the heck is going on.

Not long ago someone quipped, enjoy the rest of your stay, to some people actually waiting to check in! A bit funny, my head shot up and it took everything I had not to run over there and point out that they couldn’t possibly do that on account of the fact that their stay has not even officially begun yet. Look, you people are just putting the cart before the horse now! Also, they were trying quite desperately to get their stay started and “you” seem to have lost their reservation. If the “rest of their stay” is going to involve sleeping in their car, it might be better to just avoid mentioning it all together.

Some people don’t get it at all. They try to claim that people have always said that and I am making a mountain out of a molehill. Yes, well, “The past was alterable. The past never had been altered. Oceania was at war with Eastasia. Oceania had always been at war with Eastasia.” Trust me, the past is totally alterable.

You wouldn’t believe how much damage a couple of moles can do. Beware the tiny molehills.