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Recently I listened to Jordan Peterson making a “Beauty and the Beast” analogy to describe the challenges women face in paring up, in getting married. Allegedly you need a find a beast to provide protection, to enable you to have children. The problem being you also need a be able to tame your beast, or else you just have a beast which is not a good thing at all.

I enjoy JP’s analogies, but sometimes they are are just so narrow minded and male dominated, I’m not sure he even realizes another world might exist beyond his own imaginings.

Like dude, go tame your own beast, I’m not your designated co-dependent. We all have a Savior, avail yourself of Him and leave me be.

Which all brings me to Darla’s dilemma. “Darla” is Doug Wilson’s latest invention, similar idea, his attempt to inform future generations about the birds and the bees, as you can see here in his post called, “Laws of Attraction.” It’s a bit amusing on account of the fact that his series was actually once called “Dear Dawson,” and it was about advice for men.

The problem being, Dawson is apparently just plain hopeless, and constantly telling Dawson what is wrong with women, is no longer useful. Dear Dawson, this is how you improve yourself and grow in Christ, you just need to, make sure women are submissive, quiet, intelligent but not too intelligent, modest and yet sexy and desirable, Biblical, obedient, reverent, respectful, hospitable, but not too hospitable, thin but not too thin….….you get the general idea. “Make women.

Improving “Dawson” has now fallen by the wayside, and we have decided to just speak right to the root of the problem which is obviously, “Darla.” See, it’s always all about what the women must do, what is wrong with the women, how women must fix themselves, how the women must then proceed to fix the men, all while pouring endless admiration and respect all over guys in general. Also, please have the babies, take out the trash, save the environment, and fix our politics. And these days, one must not only fight on the front lines, one must also make sure the men’s room is fully supplied with feminine hygiene products, while smiling graciously over your 2nd place ribbon and celebrating the success of transwomen.

“Darla’s dilemma” is that she is just bloody emotionally exhausted! All this self conscious dancing on the edge of a pin, trying to be valuable enough and yet not too valuable least you erode some fragile male ego or trigger some female envy, is just not worth all the bother.

Seriously, get a puppy, grow a plant, buy a box of wine, run off into the woods and feast on bugs and honey. Truly, life is just too short for all this rubbish.

See, it isn’t even about physical attraction, it is about forcing women to carry ALL of the moral weight, ALL of the sexual responsibility, ALL of the reproductive responsibility, ALL of the cultural weight, ALL of the emotional weight, ALL of the psychological weight, and to endure the vast majority of the fallout from it all, too.

Such set ups tend to make one go, wait, so what exactly are men even for?? Why in the world would I even want one? Do they serve some useful purpose in my life besides just handing me endless spiritual burdens I must pack around and carry for them?

I don’t wish to pick on men, picking on men is not really my goal. I want to pick on set ups, systems, deceptions. I want to pick on religious and cultural narratives that have sabotaged relationships and destroyed the potential of women, and by proxy, the potential of men, too.

I suppose I should cut JP and Wilson some slack because they are directing their alleged “wisdom” towards young, unmarried women, not grandmas who have now been married since forever and are full of wisdom of their own. On the other hand that really is the nature of the problem, isn’t it?! Having grown up conversations with grown up women is so not their forte, not the secret desire of their heart. In fact, I imagine them hacking quite uncomfortably, hoping to avoid doing exactly that.

What they are selling requires a certain kind of naivete, a sheltered, cloistered hapless beauty, one who has no idea she has signed up to tame a beast, a beast who of course must be her spiritual leader in the home, a beast she must respect at all times, surrender all to, all while constantly puffing up his ego, walking on eggshells, and maintaining not just her own sexual attraction, but his also.

So how does any of this benefit Darla??? Beats me. I haven’t got the slightest clue.

There are two things that jump out at me, we live in a very materialistic world. Like literally relationships have been commodified. Christians, for all our high minded talk, are still heavily influenced by the myths and legends promoted by evolutionary psychology. Red pill rubbish, hypergamy, all these notions Wilson and JP seem to subscribe to, are really all based on evolutionary theory, survival of the fittest, science, materialism. When one asks, “is he out of your league,” one is indicating a belief in a socio-sexual hierarchy, one we apparently evolved into or perhaps “out of.” One really never knows whether we are coming or going when it comes to all this alleged human “evolving.”

Regardless, I should not have to waste one more breath trying to explain why a term like the “sexual marketplace” is built exclusively on a foundation of materialism. “Hypergamy” is actually a political science term that originated in India and suggested that women tend to marry up so as to escape the caste system. Ya don’t say. Well then, it couldn’t possibly be a response to a broken political system, it must surely be evolutionary.…..

It’s so ironic to me, there are a bunch of attacks on the church going on right now, attacks on the alleged “patriarchy of religion” and having now thoroughly stalked out several subjects, I have come to the shocking conclusion that what is being sold today as “religious patriarchy” is simply our old friend, Darwinianism! You don’t really hate religious people, you hate the sheer materialism of “might makes right,” the complete rubbish of “survival of the fittest,” the whole notion that rather than having freewill and spiritual selves, we are simply dominated by our evolution, the a hapless recipients of our own biology.

Darwinianism masking itself as religion. Women of course, always seem to arrive in the same place, at the bottom of the food chain, submission either being religiously mandated or scientifically proven to be a innate function of our biology. Sheesh. Not to be too solipsistic here, but does it really matter whether a cave man is dragging me around by my hair or some religious man who thinks he is Abraham and wants to be called “Lord?”

I imagine my words just flowing over a grand waterfall before gently sliding into the abyss, and yet for some reason I persist. Darla’s dilemma is that a materialistic, evolutionary world, a cost effective place dominated by might makes right, is not a place where it makes any sense to pair up and have children in the first place. The very nature of love is sacrificial, the nurturing of children requires one to place one’s eyes on things unseen. It is not cost effective. It is not hierarchal. It is not a sexual marketplace. It does not improve your status within the culture. It does not produce wealth. It is not materialistic. It is not even survival oriented!

It is a supernatural leap of faith, one we no longer honor and value on account of the fact that we live in a very materialistic culture, one that places little value on human life.