I am chuckling, but recently I watched this little you tube video by Frans de Waal, a primatologist who is partly responsible for the pop culture notion of what an “alpha male” is. He touches on several good points, primarily the way we have misconstrued it so badly, it is now related to hierarchy, rank, and being a bully.
We’ve forgotten the most important part, empathy! The way politicians walk about kissing babies?? Yep, we totally copied that behavior from chimpanzees, kind of like the way we went and named a herd of baboons, a congress. Studying politics and studying animals really does have some overlap.
So why do we kiss babies when we are out campaigning? To demonstrate our empathy! To show our compassion. To convey the idea that we care. Compassion towards those we wish to lead. I will protect and provide for you.
I don’t particularly buy into theories around evolution and I usually despise all evo/psych theories, actually I despise the whole field. However, there is still something valuable to be learned here, especially when it comes to politics! The truth is, our human biology is always going to lead us to follow the one who we perceive as the best Consoler in Chief.
Who cares about us? Who understands our issues? Who empathizes? Who is in touch with what ails us, what threatens us? Who do we feel connected to, as if they really know me?
That is the quality that wins elections every single time. It is more important than anything else. We will follow the guy with a cheese grater on his head who wants to establish a lake made of chocolate pudding, if we feel like he understands us and gets our issues.
One reason why the scene in the Bible with the Samaritan woman is so powerful is because she exclaims, “Come, see a man who told me all the things that I have done…!” Boom, instant leadership, instant authority. It is the compassion of Jesus, the “knowing of her,” that has her wanting to follow Him and run off to tell the others. That really is how human nature works.
Also, notice when Jesus sends the Holy Spirit He says, “But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.”
The Comforter, the Consoler in Chief, not the boss, not the bully, not the macho, manly, tough guy, but The Comforter.
I really disliked President Bush, but when was he at his most popular? Right after 911 when he was cast in the role of Consoler in Chief. That is leadership, that is what serves to unite people and steer off divisions.
This is one reason why I have hollered from the rooftops, pounded my way through several keyboards, made such a fuss about stupid red pill ideologies and alpha men, and shrieked about some misguided conservatives and their quest to declare empathy as sin. Besides making you a general all purpose lunkhead and destroying interpersonal relationships, it’s also how you proceed to lose elections.
One thing conservatives are really good at doing, is losing elections.
There is this terribly misguided notion in the world that tries to suggest that empathy is weakness, that being a stoic is what makes you strong. I think that is a complete reversal of the truth, such a deception it reminds me of just playing opposite day. It is exceedingly difficult to mourn with those who mourn, grieve with those who grieve, and rejoice with those who rejoice. It costs us something and it is a real balancing act to be careful not to lose your own self in the process. It requires tremendous strength, major self control, and great self awareness. There is nothing “soft” or “weak” about it.
It is also not the arena of femininity. Ha! Some of the meanest, most unempathetic people I know are actually women. Often women are perceived as being more empathetic, but that is frequently a very superficial illusion.
You have to care and you have to demonstrate that truth by intimately knowing the experiences, struggles, and desires of the people you want to serve. It just is what it is. It is also Biblical, and backed up by psychology and biology.
It’s also a significant key to winning elections.
See, there's this thing called biology... 
Good stuff msb. The ones who ‘beat their chests’ with the biggest mouths are generally proven to be the weakest and have so little intellect. Fact. A man’s man knows there is NO competition at the bottom, a nugget of truth so few know. Just consider all the big names that come to mind, and the whorish attention they get through media, and ask yourself if these are really ‘strong’ or smart people.
And for context, we read Paul the apostle’s take on valuable manhood. ‘He took upon him NO reputation……..’ Yikes. The One who should have had the best, took the place of the worst. THAT is true power, the ability to ignore popularity and false accusation. ‘I could have called 10,000 angels,’ so to speak, but nope.
And for bits and giggles, I can’t stand that aviator sunglass look of a president lapping ice cream, with tongue sticking out like a sun whipped dog- all for IMAGE. It’s image folks, image, that’s all. Alpha eh??? But aah, the children will swoon, and camera’s will click, ‘he’s just a normal person…………’ Triple yuck.
Ver nice take on the Comforter btw. Politicians? Not very comforting.
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Thanks, Colorstorm. It is such a tragedy of modern culture that we tend to elevate and idealize the lowest common denominator, so our cultural leaders become people like the Kardashians and Caitlyn Jenner. I don’t mean to attack them personally, it’s not their fault they seem to represent what the culture values.
Aviator sunglasses are the superficial branding genius of the century! You can put a pair of aviators on a dog and make them look really cool! I grew up listening to ZZ Top’s, “cheap sunglasses,” so I’m not impressed, but it is a bit amusing.
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Nice words IB and very true. We’ve really lost sight as to what should be important in a political candidate and empathy to what others are struggling with should be #1. Note, this is different than faux and snobbish concern for the “lesser others”, which is just empty virtue signaling which our politics is saturated with.
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Right?! Some of us see right through that faux, snobbish concern for the “lessors,” but many do not, many read even that fake concern, as genuine empathy.
Here where I live we’ve spent tons of millions on the homeless for decades and seldom actually housed anyone. In fact, we’ve just created more homeless people. And yet year after year elections are won by publicly displaying our alleged empathy and concern for the oppressed, downtrodden, and “unhoused.” Facts don’t matter, results don’t matter, it’s all about conveying compassion and understanding.
People are without excuse and often very annoying to boot, but one reason why this works so effectively year after year, is because our biology is being played and we think we are supporting a good Consoler in Chief. Conservatives then come along and try to run on something that more resembles thinly veiled contempt or being fed up, completely reasonable expressions, but really not a winning combination for elections.
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I think one of the biggest benefits of growing up the way I did is I can smell BS a mile away. I have had far to many chest pounding screaming males in my life. Heck I married two of them, but they did teach me valuable lessons. I hate yelling and screaming I hate it so much that if someone yells at me I switch off emotionally I become very cold and it damages any further relationship ;with them especially if they are male. I remember when I started the process of becoming legally disabled in order to get benefits because I could no longer work one of the things I had to do is see a psychologist and one of the first things he asked me is if I trusted men and I said no, and he said so you hate men? I looked at him and said did I say that? He was like well you don’t trust them. I am like trust and hate were two different things. I told him I trust women even less than I do men does that mean I double hate them? I told him I have never been given a reason to trust either in my life, but I have loved many of them and some I still do, but they cannot be in my life. I have had literally two females and one male in my life that have never to my knowledge stabbed me in my back. The male was my biological dad who died when I was 10 years old, a high school friend, and my sister. To me that is a sad track record. So his diagnoses was severe PTSD and severe anxiety. I also told him I only trusted my cat that boy had soaked up a lot of tears in the 22 years I owned him without complaint he died last June at the age of 25 years old.
Most people are fake and what they put forward to the world is not even close to what they are really like. They are nice until you can no longer provide them with what they want or you no longer follow their lead. My former best friend was the former she was great when I would allow her to tell her husband I bought her something so she wouldn’t get into trouble for spending money she wasn’t suppose to or if I followed her advice for my life to a T. When I started fighting back and telling her no I got to see her true personality and it was ugly. We talk from time to time, but I will never allow her close to me again.
I did find a man I can trust again and we have been together almost 10 years and he has seen me at my very worst and at my very best and did not run away screaming she is crazy. He makes me laugh nearly everyday and that is important to me. He comforts me when life hurts to much and takes care of me as my body continues to fail me without complaint. It was a long, long road to get to him, but was well worth it. So many men are raised with the notion they have to be rough and tough. The whole boys don’t cry really angers me I mean for goodness sake even Jesus wept. Just because the Bible says the man is the head of the household doesn’t bully, tyrant, and abuser. Like you I believe women are more cruel so many of them treat men like wallets, tell them to lie to them about superficial things then get all crazy when they have trained them to lie about everything. If they another woman as a threat they will do whatever they can to hurt them no matter if said woman has done anything to them or not. If she talks about other friends behind their back to you, you can be assured she is doing the same to you. I remember when I had my stroke my former best friend came to the hospital and as I laid there fighting for my life she said she had a confession to make and that was she had told others that she felt I was lazy because I would come home from work eat and go to sleep and would sleep a lot on my day off. When the fact of the matter I was very sick being at the time an undiagnosed diabetic when the stroked happened they took my blood sugar because I had ketones in my urine and my blood sugar was 800 mg/dl and the doctor said if I had not had the stroke I would have died in my sleep. I never got over her thinking I was lazy.
So nope I do not trust men or women for the most part I have seen to much ugly in both. I avoid most people these days because I have enough to deal with and just don’t have the energy to deal with people much anymore. I ignore politicians for the most part because they are going to do what they are going to do regardless I know God is control and nothing happens without His consent.
If this makes very little sense blame the insane kitten she kept trying to eat my hairbrush and the rose pruners and running through the house like a cheetah on speed.
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Ha! I am so glad you have the insane kitty to keep you entertained. I have no idea why cats are like that, but they can be pretty active at night and then just lounge around all day. 🙂
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It is amazing the antics a 5 lb kitten can get up to at 3 AM and yes then sleep most of the next day, but I truly wouldn’t have her any other way I am just thankful the other two are now at the age of mostly lazy lol.
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LOL! She might adjust, get into the rhythm of the household. I have no idea, but sometimes they do. 🙂
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Hopefully, but she seems a different make than the other two. She was rescued after being abandoned by her mother under a shed. I bottle fed her from about two weeks old she is definitely a wild child.
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I hate all fake displays of empathy. Real empathy results in action. I don’t need the same politician who caused my misery to show empathy for me. Only idiots, and there are plenty, fall for this. Never mind, that it is just a show. When the politcian is done showing empathy, he goes on and keeps screwing you. “Oh, I caused misery by causing massive inflation? Let me show some empathy. When that’s done I keep on printing money.”
Showing empathy does nothing.Jesus didn’t just display empathy. He acted.
As for manliness and lack of empathy. That’s just a stereotype.
In this youtube-channel.there is a very big compilation of the stories of Medal of Honor recipients.
You will find one constant running through the stories of all these badass dudes. Their deep love and empathy of their fellow man.
https://www.youtube.com/user/MedalOfHonorBook/videos
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Interesting! A dislike for fake empathy might be part of what is making people recoil from the whole notion. It’s become very manipulative and phony, as we see in advertising and politics. Also pity is often used to rob people of their power and it sometimes get confused with empathy.
Very cool about the Medal of Honor recipients and their empathy and love for their fellow man.
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Powerful when the right practice of masculinity is practiced as God intended it
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Yes! Amen, Slim.
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And amen IB
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