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I’m telling you, some of these people doing real life satire should come with some good background music. If you’re too young to get the reference, it’s Springfield here, Yep, IB singing, “I’ll play along with the charade.”

I speak of course of Jesse Sumpter and his delightful piece, “Husband, Make Sure Your Wife Votes Exactly like You.”

I have to pause and give him kudos for at least mentioning that the husband should not be an abusive jerk and at least pointing out that he is referring to a healthy relationship. Although how healthy can it be if it is dominated by male ego so overblown and pompous it actually believes it is Biblically entitled, nay, mandated to tell it’s wife what to think, feel, and believe?

Let’s just have some fun here, shall we? What if my hubby were some sort of soy boy, pool noodle fighting, antifa lefty? Huh? What then? Am I supposed to smile sweetly, say “yes dear,” and bind my conscience? All hail to the mighty ego of Biblical manhood? Does that trump what my heart knows is true? Does that trump His still quiet voice?

Jesse, Jesse, Jesse, I have to be right with God first. Always! Dude, my name is not Sapphira and I am not married to Ananias. Like, if the Holy Spirit comes along and wants my husband to give an account for what he’s done with all the money, my hands are kind of tied. It’s more like, “Welp gosh, sure love ya honey. Good luck with that! I’ll pray for you!”

I’m actually not offended by the hierarchal rubbish, the giant ego of Biblical manhood, the reduction of women to non persons, I’m offended by the complete lack of compassion, the words devoid of wisdom and experience, the theological fluff piece that is completely impotent and useless for people living in the real world. Widows, single women, women abandoned by their husbands, women married to pool noodles, and of course, the existence of broken and dysfunctional men.

No matter how hard you try to slice and dice it, no matter how many gaslight fumes you inhale, the round peg is simply not going to fit in the square hole.

Like, in Jesse’s world, ALL the men are smart, gentle, kind, and good and they all know how to vote right. And allegedly ALL women have access to these paragons of virtue and wisdom, if they would just submit.

It’s hurts Jesse, because it’s a lie, not an unwanted lie, not a question of rebellious women who just won’t buy the lie, but an objective observation about the nature of reality all around us. Our Lord Himself went and said, “why do you call me good? there is none good but one, that is, God…”

A perfect, sin free man said that. A perfect sin free man pointed us to the Father. A good husband should do the same.

When you try to sell the lie that men are smarter, better, wiser, more Holy, more sanctified, more qualified to vote than women are, you are selling a lie, but worse, you are now attempting to sanctify a lie, to wrap it in a Biblical fast food wrapper, as if you can make what is inside a taco when it is really a burger.

Never mind the women, you’ve just set the men up on a pedestal so high the Lord Himself can’t reach them, and they are now in the unenviable position of having to earn the free gift of grace through their leadership.

Unenviable. Yep, like you’ve now gone and burdened them with performance issues. Now if they are unable to control another person, their very salvation is at stake. Maybe that’s not the intent, but it sure as heck is the result, the outcome.

Jesse won’t be able to hear me, something about women not teaching the men, probably on account of the fact that they are often so unteachable, but just the same I am right and the truth matters, and the truth is a person, the personhood of Jesus Christ.

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