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I feel the need to pre-emptively explain. If I say anything that offends you even the tiniest bit, then clearly I have been hacked. It’s probably the Russians, could be Ukrainians.

Regardless, whatever I said, I clearly did not say. Hackers, man! So annoying, but obviously I am just the victim here. They seem to be guest posting and just made it all up.

It’s always possible I accidentally published a rough draft that hadn’t been edited yet, and accidentally published it like five times. If that happened, that is totally not my fault on account of the fact that my editor bailed on me and ran off with a bass player.

I am absolutely NOT taking full responsibility for the actions of any bass players.

This photo here is an obvious deepfake. We know this because it is in black and white and yet one of my socks is pink. So clearly whatever I am allegedly doing wrong has been totally photoshopped.

Speaking of wrong doing, when you live in a small, gossipy town, you usually invest zero energy in trying to defend your reputation. Whatever people are saying, it is probably far more interesting then anything I am actually doing. You should probably believe it all, stay away, and just give me a wide berth.

And lastly, If you don’t approve of anything I’ve said, next time you should probably try asking me the same kind of questions you asked the other guy like, “what color is a firetruck?”