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A couple more really sad losses happened in our community, young people, and my heart just aches for these families, for this community. We haven’t lost anyone in this county to covid-19, but we sure have lost a lot of our precious children to heroin and meth overdoses and to suicide and mental health disorders.

How long Lord, before this community gets woke to the fact that we have a real public health crisis here, that our spiritual health really matters, that economic health matters, that these precious lives mattered?

The worst thing you can do when you are grieving and sad and frustrated is to get caught in that perpetual loop of, it should not be so. This is so wrong. Why are we so negligent. Why did this happen, why are we allowing this to continue? What went wrong here?

It should not be so.

I know on an individual level, on a personal one, that getting stuck for too long in that, “it should not be so” is going to be unhealthy. It’s a normal part of grief, but it causes you to walk around trapped in the injustice and unfairness of it all. A wrong has happened. Children should not die before their parents. It should not be so. Our hearts tend to cry out for justice in the midst of such horrific unfairness, such a painful deviation from our design.

It should not be so, but it is.

It occurs to me every time I plunge into such sadness and despair that some part of me does take note of the fact that it is a deviation from what is normal, from what should be, a deviation from our design. How do I know with such certainty that, it should not be so??

It’s quite amazing, a miraculous thing if you think about it. How do I even know this? Where is this place where, “what should be,” actually is? I have certainly never seen it, although I like to believe I catch a peek now and then. What standard of justice is written on my heart and Who put it there?

People have tried to tell me that it is simply my own opinions, my own unmet expectations of how things “ought to be.” Those people have no idea that my own expectations for the world and for much of humanity are so far below zero mark, that I am often in danger of landing somewhere among the negative numbers. I fully expect people to get it all wrong. I’m actually caught by surprise when we don’t.

So I know very well that these often unmet expectations of “mine” are not really mine at all. They point to another world, another place and time where what should be, actually is, a place where you can count on the bad things being kept away and the good things unfolding as they should.

It’s really good to take note of that, it should not be so, just don’t try to live there. But our souls sure do know the truth, there is a whole lot going on in the world right now that just should not be so.

The thing is, if we can sense and imagine and feel what should not be, than we can also imagine what could and should be if we ever got our act together.

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