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This has been a  tough week, I feel a  bit as if I’ve been chewed up and spit out, but I’m still laughing so that’s a sign of life. Of course, pain is also a sign of life. I just mention that because our words really matter, so it’s good to try to change the way we say things. I’m not suffering, I’m just experiencing a whole lot of evidence of  life and life abundant.

Kylo stands for “Keep Your love On,” one of Danny Silk’s books. I really like him, both the simplicity of his words and the complexity behind them. I’m lacking in some areas, but really strong and powerful in others, and so I’m grateful for that affirmation, that validation and the ensuing confidence.

I often tend to sell myself short, to not step into the full truth as I should. So this week I was reading Chapter 6 “The Trust Cycle,” and I said somewhat casually, “oh yes, I got trust issues,  I could probably write volumes about those!” And the Holy Spirt said, “and that’s a lie!” Somewhat funny, I was just busted, just caught there in the moment in a lie and somewhat delighted about it.

How do I know I’m in trouble with the Lord? I’m delighted about it. It’s awesome, it’s the most wonderful thing in the world. Nobody wants to get called out, nobody wants a ticket, nobody want to get into trouble, but when it’s the Lord talking to you it’s more like, this is wonderful, so tell me more…..

I don’t HAVE trust issues, I’ve simply spent a lifetime around really untrustworthy people and been deeply wounded by them. Then I’ve had to forgive, pluck those thorns out, and learn to not let them come between the Lord and I. He is perfect, steadfast, and so, so trustworthy. If the people around you are not, and generally people are going to let you down in some ways, it’s very easy to project that onto the Lord. If you don’t even know what trust looks like, then trusting in the Lord is going to be very hard, if not darn near impossible.

God is a God of impossible things.

Danny Silk begins his chapter speaking about millstones, about how the Bible says it’s better to be weighted down and drowned in the sea, than to cause a child to stumble. Love those verses. That’s about trust issues. Inside of us all is a small child reaching out for the Lord. Don’t blow it, don’t violate that trust, don’t make them bitter and cynical. Especially when it comes to handling the Lord’s word, to matters of faith, to pointing them to Christ and nurturing that relationship. I’ve felt that weight so profoundly, the importance of handling people’s spirits as if they were baby chicks. If you squeeze a baby chick too hard, you’ll just find them face down in the water dish the next day.

Lessons learned from raising chickens.

There is far too much judgement and condemnation all about the Christian world, and it’s not coming from the Bible, it’s not coming from Jesus, it’s coming from the dark and ugly hearts of fearful and self righteous men. And some women too, but I’m using the universal “men” here.

It’s the one thing in faith I cannot tolerate, I cannot abide, I will not accept. Do not violate people’s trust and claim you’re just doing the Lord’s work, because that’s a lie from the pit of hell.

I, who have dined with my personal Judas, who have walked right through the fire, who has allowed my heart to break a thousand times over, has no business claiming to have trust issues. I don’t have “trust issues,” I have a testimony to the goodness of God. I am the evidence of His power to heal, the glorious fruit of His vine.


autumn autumn leaf branch bright

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