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Proverbs 3:5 is my life verse and I am so grateful for it, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding…” It has got me through some dark, dark days. The next part of that is really good too, 3:6, “In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.”

I’ve been walking there, in the second part of that verse for a while now, just trying to place myself in the Lord’s hands and let Him direct my paths. I do have a vision, a dream, a future and a hope, it’s just a macro vision. Like where do you see yourself in 3 yrs? Giving glory to God. Basking in the love of Jesus. That’s all well and good, in fact that’s fabulous, it’s just that I haven’t got any details, dreams, aspirations, or hopes to fill in the blanks with.

Anybody live in survival mode for so long that when the winds die down, when the storm passes, you’re still stuck there, you’re still just hiding from the next storm? I do have some residual trust issues left over from the last 15 storms……

Something that has always fascinated me, Jesus sits down to have the last supper with Judas, and with Peter, with Disciples he knows will betray and/or deny him.  At the very best some will helplessly stand by while He is crucified and be filled with doubt and confusion. We all know the story, but I mean on a personal level, on an emotional level, the Son of Man really has no where to lay His head.

I’ve often said, Jesus even totally trusts Judas……to be Judas. That truth has not gone unnoticed by me. Can you sit there with really difficult people, people who will hurt you, people who will likely betray you at some point, and still break bread with them, still love them?? You can, you totally can, and Jesus did exactly that.

Recently I was reading Danny silk’s, “Keep Your Love On,” and there is a sentence there that I just fell in love with, “Jesus manages His trust in ways that scare the pants off of most of us.”

A huge amen to that! I have been there and done that and yes, it scares the pants off of most of us! Can you manage your own expectations of other people, trust that the Lord  will meet your needs, and love those who you know full well are going to crush your heart?? That is what genuine strength is all about, that is what it means to be vulnerable, that’s what powerful people can do.

The other day I said I had trust issues and no vision in my life and while that is partially true, on another level it is not true at all. So I am going to completely repent of that mindset, flip a 180 and declare, my vision is to keep growing in the Lord, to master managing my trust,  and to keep trying to connect with difficult people, because that’s what Jesus did and that’s what Jesus still does.

“Jesus manages His trust in ways that scare the pants off of most of us.” Yep! Tends to scare a lot of church folks, too.

silhouette photo of person standing in neon lit hallway

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