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A bit amusing, in the course of a wonderful talk, a pastor I adore just so happened to mention, “and who doesn’t want to be in charge?” I involuntarily recoiled, as did quite a few others. I believe he may have won over two people in the entire crowd. C’mon, he says, who doesn’t want some control over their own comfort?
The whole thing struck me as quite funny because everybody wants to be in charge, right?? No!! Not if you’re the oldest child from a dysfunctional family. Not if you’re the only sober adult in your addicted sphere. Not if you’re the only parent. Not if you’re the closest thing to a grown up in a herd of juvenile wildebeests surrounded by wolves….
Not if you’ve ever been the one with ALL of the responsibility but NONE of the power to do anything about it. Not if you’ve ever been trapped in learned helplessness. Not if you know what it’s like to be totally powerless.
Not if you’re the mom. Or the dad. Pastor, elder, even doctor…..What “being in charge” means is the buck stops here. Everything is now your responsibility, your problem, and your fault.
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This is really forgotten in the modern world, in the modern world we often think, “being in charge” means I get to make all the important decisions and get the glory. Christians especially are inundated with “leadership conferences.” Ever notice how there are never any, “followers trainings??” We all follow Jesus so what does that mean? Leadership! No! We are followers.
Ironically, the very best leaders are actually followers….
Anyway, through no fault of my own, I am a rather battle worn, involuntary leader, often pressed into service on account of the fact that there was nothing else resembling an adult nearby. That is my history, one I am slowly recovering from. The Lord is forever telling me, “No, you put that down and walk away! Drop it, IB! ” I’m kind of like one of those dogs you give a bath to and it runs out in the yard to try to roll in the stinkiest thing it can find….
I want to fix it. I want to clean it up. I want to make it better. And I’m good at it, really, really, good. So good, that nobody around me is ever forced to grow or to learn how to take responsibility for their own selves.
Mitch did a post I really enjoyed called, “7 Components of Spiritual Leadership.” Amen to all of it! Can we get blood out of a turnip? Water to pour out of a rock? Sure, maybe if we just whack it hard enough….
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I am laughing here, I don’t whack too many things, not in a literal sense, but I am keenly aware when I am beating on a dead horse in a spiritual sense. Like, I’ve pointed the problem out once, twice, three times, now my job is done and I have to let it go. It’s no longer my problem, nor my responsibility.
Here’s the part I hate. Even though it’s no longer my responsibility, I still have to live with the consequences of your actions…..or your inactions. When other people avoid taking responsibility and evade making good choices, the odds are pretty good that I’m going to suffer from the fallout. No man is an island, individual choices or refusal to make good choices, impacts entire communities.
I really appreciate the wisdom in Numbers 20, “Take the staff, and you and your brother Aaron gather the assembly together. Speak to that rock before their eyes and it will pour out its water. You will bring water out of the rock for the community so they and their livestock can drink.”
But that’s not quite how it all went down….
Mitch makes a really good point, “Don’t hatch schemes and ask God to bless them. Find out what He’s doing, and sign up for that!” Amen! Somebody smart once told me, pay attention to what Jesus did in the temple. When He was a child and His parents got lost, when they found Him, He simply said, “don’t you know I must be about my Father’s business??”
We are sons (or daughters,) royalty, the inheritors of a kingdom. Our very job is to find out what He’s doing and to be about the Father’s business. Hopefully far more then we are about our own.
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So God calls u ib eh? Lol. And here I thought msb was the cats meow.
Then there is always EyeBee…….but yes, no competition at the bottom. Not many people running to be the Baptist of sorts.
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Yes indeed, God calls us.
At my other church we had a talk about perseverance, wonderful, no complaints here, except “we” don’t persevere, “we” don’t run our race, “we” don’t fight the fight, and I feel the urge to ring a warning out, don’t try to do it yourself, you can’t! Without the Lord being the wind in our sails, we soon just become a gasping, wheezy mess. 🙂
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What Bob said:
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Yep. 🙂
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Wow! Thanks for making me feel so much better about my hatred of being in charge, or being the leader. Now I understand why it’s so abhorrent to me. God bless you in everything you do and every word you write. Actually – He already does.
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Good point Stephanie, about not feeling bad of hatred of being in charge. God bless you, too.
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Good stuff, IB. I like how you came around after pushing back at what your pastor said.
“I want to fix it. I want to clean it up. I want to make it better. And I’m good at it, really, really, good. So good, that nobody around me is ever forced to grow or to learn how to take responsibility for their own selves.”
The truth is, while we don’t want the responsibility, we do all want to control our circumstances. That’s why it bothers us when we have to participate in other people’s messes. That’s not fair! Why can’t they get their act together! Then we remember what Jesus participates in. Oops!
So, your pastor’s spot-on. Yes, we do want be in charge. We just don’t want the responsibility of other people’s actions. What we need to do is let go of burdens that are not ours to carry. So, a big amen to the last bit…
“Our very job is to find out what He’s doing and to be about the Father’s business. Hopefully far more then we are about our own.”
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Amen. Thanks, Mel. I also remember some things you said about expectations versus expectancy. I can be very results oriented and forget that the results I want to see, may not always be the work the Father is doing.
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You’re so right – it seems every seminar is on how to be a leader. So, if everyone is a leader, who’s gonna follow?
All I need is one afternoon with all of my grandchildren to realize I do NOT miss being in charge. 😉
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Ha! Exactly. One cool thing about grandchildren is that we can return them to their adults when we’re done. 🙂
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Yep, feed ’em sugar, give ’em a puppy, and send them home. (JK. I wouldn’t be that cruel to my children.)
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@IB.
How do we know we have been called to do something? We tend to enjoy using the gifts God has given us, and we experience real success when we properly use them. Moreover, this situation has dropped in our lap, and “I” am the obvious choice. At least, it would help if things worked that way.
I was still looking for my calling when I retired, and I still have to find things to do. The things that keep climbing into my lap don’t belong there. Temptations.
The only thing I have learned is that I am too absent-minded and lacking in social skills to be a natural leader. Usually, I find it works best if I find a leader who needs help, and I take personal responsibility for providing it.
God, BTW, is our leader. It is just that we need His help.
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