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community, faith, humor, insanitybytes22, life, making space
Just for the record, I have an exceeding dislike for that word, “sustainable.” It is a green word, organic, glutin free, not tested on animals, vegan. Anything “sustainable” must be virtuous and good, so we slap “sustainable” on just about everything we wish to sell.
However, it’s still the most suitable word for what I wish to speak about, a word that means, “able to be maintained at a certain rate or level,” or “able to be upheld or defended.” Some synonyms are well founded, justified, sound, reliable. Those are words that mean, it’s still going to be around a few years from now.
I’m in a strange position right now, every area of my life, culture, family, community, work, church, needs to change. It either takes some genuine hubris, or some genuine wisdom to declare such a thing. I’m going to declare it just the same.
It needs to change because it is not sustainable, because it is past it’s pull date, because it has grown all toxic and stinky. A woman recently spoke to me about her frustrations over trying to clean the pantry out at church. This can of green beans expired in 1989, it is dead, LET IT GO!
Exactly. Just like that. I was really blessed by her frustration, validated by her angst, because yes, it is just like that, it is just like trying to pry 30 year old expired green beans out of someone’s cold, dead hands.
For those linear thinkers out there, it’s never about the dishes left by the sink or the can of expired green beans. She quietly left our church, completely unnoticed, completely unmissed, all because a 30 year old can of green beans was more important then she was.
She left because that can of expired green beans was perceived as having more worth and value to the church then she did. Because that church had people’s egos invested in a way of doing things that did not allow any room for growth. They did not understand that you must make space for other people to come into your circle and change things up.
Making space. That’s one reason why we clean out what is no longer useful, to make space for what is new. Flat out in this world, you’re either growing or you’re dying. If you are dying, you are unsustainable. If you’re dying the end is nigh and it is inevitable.
The church that woman left is my church. She is one of many, many I have watched over the years come and go, go because she slammed into that all powerful wall of resistance, that refusal to let go of anyone’s churchian territory and allow others room to come in.
So she quietly left her church, completely unnoticed, completely unmissed…..
Photo by Ion Ceban @ionelceban on Pexels.com
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See, there's this thing called biology... 
That is such a sad event, when someone leaves a church congregation, and there is no follow up to see what happened to cause the exit. The follow up needs to be there for a variety of reasons.
-first and foremost to show the love of Christ, that the person has value, and that the church (Christians) actually care.
-to see if the person is walking from Christ, or just that particular fellowship.
-ask if the person thinks the teaching / preaching has strayed from Scripture.
-to ask if the person has been offended / hurt, and if it can be reconciled.
-to ask if there are family problems / illness preventing attendance; then see if a plan can be worked out.
-probably additional thoughts that those in the fellowship may be aware of.
God’s Blessings, Discernment IB as you seek Holy Spirit guidance in each of your decisions. None are easy, so will be praying for you to hear and know His voice.
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Very insightful! Yes, all those questions should be asked.
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Very insightful indeed, George! Thank you for those questions, and for your prayers. Your words are much appreciated.
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How sad! What is really sad is that the people who are like this have no idea that they are, or the damage they are doing to the Church.
The people at my church take attendance and keep track of the members. They will notice when someone hasn’t been around for a few weeks and check up on them to see if everything is OK. Some may consider intrusive, but the other extreme is this woman you tell about, who quietly left and no one seemed to notice. Maybe it’s better to risk having someone get irritated and tell you to mind your own business than it is to “mind your own business” and have someone wonder if they are missed, or if anybody cares …
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Ha! I’ve spent several years waging a rather unsuccessful campaign against this thing I call, “MYOB.” As in literally, so many people think it is good to just mind your own business. But so often that is more about us being afraid of someone else’s potential rejection or irritation. If we truly care about others, we must be just the tiniest bit intrusive. 🙂
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EXACTLY!
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In my experience, it’s Ben they with the collective mind of the Lord who are deemed as ‘trouble makers.’
If I am right about something in a matter where there can be no compromise, I would not bow to the majority.
Truth is always president to what is popular, and if something is popular, it’s usually wrong.
The Spirit of God is friends with the minority. Just ask John the headless, or Pilate.
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Amen, Colorstorm. You are so right! If something is popular (and comfortable) it’s probably all wrong. Believe it or not, I am actually a lover of comfort so, ” if we can just ignore this or pretend it doesn’t exist, and everybody can just stay comfortable….”
However, the Lord I serve is very persistent and not the least bit interested in protecting people’s comfort levels, including my own. 🙂
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Well there’s a whole other topic eh. After all, there is the Comforter.
Not the ‘lack of trouble,’ or an artificial ‘ease,’ but the comfort enjoyed during the most trying of circumstances, which heck, is just about every day.
Want some tribulations? I got em. I earned every one of these wrinkles and scars. Easy Street is not a popular road in Christondom. Lol
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ColorStorm, you are so correct. We have just experienced such a thing. We took a position that was 100 percent Biblical and correct; even those who called us trouble makers actually agreed we were biblically correct; they just liked their opinions better, and didn’t seem ashamed about it. So, we moved on, but apparently our legacy as trouble makers has remained in place. We have become convenient scapegoats so that the fact that God is not blessing because of their own disobedience can be ignored.
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I take no pride in being correct in this/ it’s a sad fact and commentary on how much we really understand ‘where one member we all suffer;’ apparently other ‘members’ do care.
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A very sad but true story. I have seen it too, and it’s heartbreaking.
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Perhaps it’s more about the reason one goes to church. Is it to be missed down the line when life forces you to leave? Is it to be recognized by others to feed self-worth or a personal relevance and importance? We presume the primary reason to go to any church is to worship, worship as a community in fellowship, and.. well, the rest kinda falls into feeding the old id, ego, and super ego in some form. I’m not dissing church, mind you. But if we presume the beauty that is indeed our world then nature itself becomes the best place of worship. But.. that’s just me.
Just a suggestion.. take a trip to a national park and simply behold where you are at. Camp a night there. Feel the significance of being insignificant to it all… but humbled that you are a creature that can interpret beauty and the relevancy of that alone, amidst all the creatures chirping, moaning, groaning… that know not why they even exist.
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Very cool comment, Doug. I’m in complete agreement. Also, I really do live in one of the most beautiful places in the world for going out in nature, especially this time of year. We have it all, snow capped mountains, the ocean, the rain forest, rivers, lakes.
The only problem being, when it is just as good (or even preferable) to go worship alone in nature, the church has failed in our discipleship, in our fellowship, in our message. Because we’re not just called to worship, we’re also called to love one another.
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Sometimes this gives me perspective.
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Thanks for this IB. Yeah, we shoot our wounded in the church sometimes. Or shoot the squeaky wheel. I suppost I am mixing metaphors there, but you get the point.
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I’m sorry, Wally! I know you’ve recently had your own struggles. If you want my opinion, Jesus called us forth to rock the boat a wee bit. We’re called to be “peace makers,”.not “peace keepers.”
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That’s a distinction that matters right there IB
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Sad, but good points, IB. Obviously, the lady probably didn’t leave because of the expired beans, but probably a lot of unresolved issues and neglect that piled up. Church is sort of like a marriage that way. It can be a bad one or a good one, depending on how much you work on it. Many marriages also break up over seemingly trivial things like expired beans.
Scripture says we’re both a building and a field. As Graham Cooke points out, one is a rigid structure, the other is fluid and organic. The rigid “building” was meant to be our relationships. We are to unconditionally love and encourage one another and don’t give up on the relationship. The fluid, organic part is how we do “church.” It should grow and change as the Lord leads us. It’s also based on the gift-mix of a particular congregation. All have an important part to play.The problem is, many local churches get it backwards. We make how we do church rigid, and our relationships are fluid and conditional. In other words, it becomes, “If you don’t like how we do things, maybe you don’t belong here.” And we wonder why we have these kinds of problems!
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Exactly Mel, a lot of unresolved issues and neglect lead to green bean conflicts. Heck, I can’t even call them conflicts, they are just like quiet avoidance. A bit like marriage or family, there has to be some communication going on, people talking to one another. I really like Cooke’s concept and the way we so often get it backward as the church, so it is our relationships that become fluid and conditional, and what becomes rigid are often the really dumb things that don’t matter.
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Maybe it’s about “church”, or your church, or maybe there’s something else. How about divorce, when one or both spouses remarry, move away, lose contact? How about the close friends who related to the couple, but who don’t know how to relate to the newly single individuals, who are back in the town from which the newly single moved away? What I am trying to say is, “the reality of this world of superficial relationships (compared to the Lord, aren’t they all) and high mobility reminds us that ultimately, we are alone in terms of human relationship”, and only the Lord will never leave us. Sure, church could do better, friends could do better, family could do better. People come, people go, relationships begin and they end, but as Jackson Browne put it in his song, For A Dancer, “no matter how close to you, another dance has grown, in the end there is one dance you’ll do alone.”
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Now there’s a philosophical and poetic comment, Curm! You are quite right, there are many parts of life we will do alone. People are often with us only for a season and than new ones come along. Ultimately, only the Lord is going to be with us always.
We can lose everyone, even husbands, wives, children. I really learned the value in some Bible verses like, “let the dead bury the dead,” and “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters-yes, even their own life-such a person cannot be my disciple.” These are verses of great love, speaking of the impermanence of life, of the need to keep our eyes on Him, for our own well being, for our own comfort. He remains steadfast, He is our rock when relationships are being tossed about. He will never leave or forsake you.
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Amen 🙏
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Look how they love one another. That is something Tertullian contrasted between Pagans and Christians. The best measure of a Church is to determine whether the congregation loves one another. When we fail to interact with newcomers especially inquirers who may be searching for a home and keep coming back thinking they may have found one, they leave unnoticed. We have to make certain that they are made family when they set foot in our church, treat them as a brother, let them feel at home. Otherwise, they leave.
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Amen, well said.
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Wow! Poignant. Exceedingly brilliant and well-written…and utterly sad. Even more sad because of those churches and Christians holding fiercely to their 30-year-old can of beans – and wondering why there is no growth as yet another person leaves.
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Reblogged this on Stephanie Parker McKean and commented:
Another great blog by INSANITYBYTES. Let the green beans go!
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Shared this on Facebook and reblogged it. Thanks again. Your blogs are simply brilliant. Truth personified.
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Thank you Stephanie! I so appreciate your kind words. 🙂
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