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man and woman holding heart boards

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I confess, I never really paid attention to how challenging (and distressing) cultural definitions of love might be for some guys. There really can be a burden of performance, a desire to get it right, expectations, rejections, never-ending TV commercials, all this emotional stuff.

I was actually looking at my hubby cock eyed the other day when he said, “you just wouldn’t understand, you’re different. Aggressive.”

Aggressive?? Wut?

It was very funny, because I am so not aggressive. That said, I don’t remember ever hanging out waiting for flowers and candy. Or waiting for a phone call or a text or an invitation. All my memories of dating involved asking guys to a dance. Simply informing them they are taking me out to dinner. Inviting them to come along on a date with me.

Oh dear. Bit mercenary of me……

I’ve actually brought hubby flowers, candy, balloons for many years, because that’s Valentine’s Day. There you go, fixed it, took care of it. Handled it. Simple.

So…..there’s a slight possibility I’m a handler, as in you just handle things and make them happen. Bit of a control freak really. All in good fun, but I can’t even imagine sitting around waiting to see if some guy gets it right.  Of course he’s not going to get it right, that’s why you just take care it all yourself! Like, duh!

It was a slightly amusing revelation. One of my fondest memories was going out to eat in Anchorage and hubby simply stole the flowers off the counter and gave them to me. You just can’t do that! But he did, and he promised me no one would say a word, and they didn’t. So you see, elaborate planning is not really our thing.

Also the poor man was always dealing with, “if I want flowers, I’ll just buy them myself.” Which is quite true and we should buy ourselves flowers, early and often. But hubby figured out how to give me flowers that money just can’t buy. Stolen flowers. Very funny.

Monday hubby realized it was President Lincoln’s birthday and he said, “let’s go out to eat this weekend, celebrate.” What are we celebrating? Lincoln’s birthday. No seriously, we now have a date for Lincoln’s birthday.

For the rest of you however, Happy Valentine’s Day!


person holding a wine glasses

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