We are in the midst of Snowmegeddon 2019, and you may laugh at Seattle if you like, because we certainly do. Those people have inches of snow and there is a riot at Whole Foods as everyone makes a run on…..green tea and organic arugula. Trust me, the sight of all those outraged sandals, socks, shorts, and man buns, is really not for the faint of heart. Stay off the streets people and stay safe…
All in good fun here, but hubby and I caught a few moments of the Seattle news and saw things like, sidewalks and roads. So proceeded this wonder and awe, wait, they have roads??!
I’m pretty sure if you still have visible asphalt somewhere, you have not had a “significant snow event.” I happen to be sitting here not quite sure where the road even is or once was. Doesn’t really matter, because even if I could drive, those lovely, new fangled electronic locks connected to the ignition would have to be blow dried and coaxed to life.
Or perhaps just set on fire, pulled out, and stomped on…
You may wonder at “Snowmegeddon 2019.” I only mention it because there was also a Snowmegeddon 2018, and 2017…..1993, 1984…. I feel the need to reiterate this point because even my dear hubby, who was actually born here, who should actually know better, is trying to claim it just never snows here.
I swear, I have pictures of him as a little boy up to his arm pits in snow. Then there is the fact that his truck is still caved in from two Christmasses ago when we spent the Eve in the ditch. I presume we did not arrive there due to a strong tropical breeze?
My mother is simply parroting every thing she has seen on the news, like how this is a totally freak weather event due to global warming. Apparently it just never snows here.
Denial seems to be like this alien virus that has taken hold of people’s brains. If the cabin fever doesn’t break soon, we may all soon resort to cannibalism….
I find this all most annoying. I mean, I suffer from post traumatic snow stress. This is not an imaginary condition, it is born of experiences, the real kind. So I began expressing my snow anxiety a week ago to no avail, meeting nothing but a never ending wall of denial and a few patronizing pats on the head.
I kid you not, as if the fam was not against me enough, some Jehovah Witnesses actually came to the door and informed me, “snow, smow, it’s not going to snow, it never snows here!”
Right, so I guess prophecy is not really their thing….
The Governor has declared a state of emergency, which is supposed to free something up somewhere for some reason. I decided to help by sarcastically informing him, “we’ve actually been in a state of emergency since you were elected.” So no doubt I have probably gotten myself on a watch list somewhere. At the very least least I should now have a bulging permanent record, one I began working very hard on in junior high.
And we are only now in hour 20 of Snowmegeddon…..
Well, it was actually snowing four days ago, but I mean “real snow,” the kind you can no longer even walk in. And more is on the way.
I should shut up, at least we still have electricity. And we haven’t resorted to cannibalism quite yet….