A yep! That living together thing will get you every time. I laugh sometimes when I read marriage advice today because it’s often so bizarre, so off the wall.
There’s a bit of “wisdom” floating around that suggests you just make a committment for a limited amount of time and then re-evaluate when the contract is up for renewal. It’s a curious idea, I mean I can see how the potential loss of a marriage might motivate some to feel less entitled, to invest more. Nobody wants to get to the end of their two-year contract and have a spouse go, you know, I really think I could probably just do a whole lot better….
And that’s the problem, it’s a works based marriage, a performance based marriage, a head knowledge marriage, a cost effectiveness, benefits ratio marriage. There is really something much better to be said for allowing the people closest to you to know your worst, to see you at your worst, and to love you anyway. That’s unconditional love, that’s commitment, that’s sacrifice. That is also a reflection of the Father’s great love for us. He knows how we really are, He sees us at our worst, and He loves us anyway. He made a committment, like we make a decision to care for our own children or to love a spouse, come hell or high water.
It doesn’t always work out. Please don’t think I’m a divorce shamer here. The world can throw some stuff at you, people are deeply flawed and imperfect, and life is not always a fairytale.
I don’t wish to take this devotional to a dark place, but I was watching the Beverly Hillbillies “jack rabbit episode” with a guest appearance by Sharon Tate. The Sharon Tate who was married to Roman Polanski and murdered by the Manson cult. There she was, so fresh, so young, so naive and completely unaware of the perfect storm brewing all around her.
Roman used to say she had a lot of “sexual hangs up.” She wanted a traditional marriage and was bothered by his many affairs and the free love culture of the sixties. Tate was allegedly the one with the problem, so, so many ” personal hangups.” Like, what’s wrong with you? Don’t be so uptight, man.
Poor gal was really caught up in a perfect storm she didn’t even understand. Those who know her tale will recognize all the dark stuff swirling around her, long before the Mansion clan ever came along and murdered her. The satanism, her meetings with the Wiccan High Priest and High Priestess, the forays into “Valley of the Dolls” and “The Fearless Vampire Killers,” her many consultations on “Rosemary’s Baby,” a role she did not get.
It’s a sad tale, a dark tale, but one that I think needs to be told. The dark stuff is real. There are often forces at play beyond our realm of vision. So today’s devotional is, “honor thy hangups.” Rather then being some kind of “character defect” that you need to get over or “cure,” those “hang ups” are often the voice of reason begging you to flip a quick 180. That’s your inbuilt GPS trying to speak to you.
Today’s devotional is to be found in Proverbs 25:28, “He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.”
Granny’s “giant jackrabbit” by the way, is actually a kangaroo and quite real enough, even though she lacks the words to describe it properly. Love how Jethro says he doesn’t believe her, and she attacks him with a spoon and says, “Don’t you be calling your Granny a liar!” That’s the spirit.