Here’s a bit of motherly wisdom I’ve tried so hard to infuse in my own kids without completely shattering their illusions about other people. Rarely, so very rarely, will other people ever have your own best interests at heart.
Like, if you are blessed to have a tiny handful of people in your life who once in a blue moon will stop, pause, consider your needs, and respond to you with a spirit of sacrificial love, you are blessed and highly favored, indeed. And by “tiny handful,” I mean about two for a short life season, followed by a long dry spell, before another finally comes along and completely surprises you.
Harsh truth, but the world really does not care about you, or perhaps even worse, half the time the world is so myopic and self-absorbed they don’t even know you exist at all. You are simply a means to an end or perhaps a paver they step over on the path they walk on.
God’s love is always unwavering, steadfast, sacrificial, and rooted in your best interests. God is Holy, perfect, He cares for you always, but other people not so much.
Harsh truth, but the fact is, the world just does not care and most people are so myopic, so self-absorbed and consumed by their own problems and realities, even if they actually wanted to want to care, they just wouldn’t have the time.
It’s not right, it’s not good, it’s exceedingly not right in a Christian context, but it is what it is. And when you do see examples of other people being kind to one another, putting others before themselves, it should take your breath away, it should astound you, because it really is that rare.
I mention this simply because it is a bit like tearing off a bandaid quickly, it actually hurts much less to keep it in mind, and you also don’t have to go through life tortured by a half torn off bandage full of fuzz and now pulling on your tiny hairs.
If someone cares deeply for you, if they have expressed this in word and deed than cling to them fiercely, honor them. But far too often I hear from people who are actually trapped, who are saying imaginary things like, “I can’t leave my job, they’d be lost without me.” Or perhaps, “I’d stop going, but I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.” So people will pass up opportunities, they will avoid advancement, they turn down promotion, they stay trapped in unhealthy relationships.
You have to put yourself first sometimes, you have to step out, and often you have to address your own pride in the process. It is actually pride that convinces us we are indispensible, that the whole world will collapse if we step away, that they can’t live without me.
The other day someone told me, “I can’t leave, the whole place will fall apart,” but that isn’t really true at all. And the very fact that you are having this argument within yourself is a good indication that you are being called to something bigger and better and you are trying to guilt yourself into rejecting it. We people tend to fear success, far more then we fear failure, and will often try to stay in our comfort zone, no matter how miserable or inadequate it really is.
Put yourself first, learn to say good bye, and if the people, places, or things, fall apart without you, they actually weren’t worthy of you in the first place. Don’t sell yourself short, kiddo. You deserve good things.