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Now there’s an odd thing to be grateful for, but continuing my theme of gratitude and thanksgiving, I am so, so grateful for false teachers! God can use anybody, even a talking donkey, and use them just beautifully, but I digress.

So when you grow up within atheism, often hearing about this alleged mean God who paradoxically at the same time, allegedly doesn’t even exist, what is a contrarian to do?  You read the bible from cover to cover in five different versions, totally mangling your Hebrew lessons while discovering that Koine Greek, is like, Greek to the Greeks of today.

You go, hmm, that just doesn’t sound anything like the Lord I know, and I’m pretty sure that’s not what the bible is saying at all? Then if you are like, a neurotic contrarian, you research the matter relentlessly, and draw lots of Venn diagrams, flow charts, and equations.

No, my Daddy did not say “Godliness is next to cleanliness,” not once. Not in Hebrew, Latin, Koine Greek, not in the prophetic either, nor in some obscure book that was not included in the bible. So, if that phrase is what is separating you from God, spit dem dry bones out this instant.

Here’s the real problem with discernment ministries and big fears of false teachers. I kid you not, this happened 3 times on the internet last week. Someone was carrying on about the evils of, well, the evils of just about anybody speaking faith. This time it was Ravi Zacharias, Russell Moore, and Thabiti Anyabwile in that order.

The point is not whether they are alleged “false teachers” at all. The point is, so what does the bible say about false teachers? It says a lot of things, but here is the most uncomfortable, Philippians 1: Fifteen through 18.  Just read the whole chapter. But basically, Rejoice! Because Christ is being preached.

Or Mark 9:38 through 40, which basically says, “forbid him not…..For he who is not against us is for us.”

Why are those words uncomfortable? because they suggest that rather than getting a “you bagged’em, we’ll tag’em” reward for spotting false teachers, we’re supposed to just rejoice! Be thankful. Stop stressing about it, humble yourself and try to be grateful that at least Christ is being preached. Regardless of the motives.

So I posted, “Do not hinder him, for there is no one who will perform a miracle in My name, and be able soon afterward to speak evil of Me. For he who is not against us is for us.” That’s a direct quote from the bible, Jesus’ words actually, and I should have sourced it, should have put it in quotations, but it was a casual conversation among Christians, and I made the fatal error of assuming everyone was familiar with the bible.

You know what they say about “assuming.” My bad.

So immediately I heard, that’s unbiblical. That’s not scriptural. That’s pure heresy.

No really, it says just that in the bible! And so I discovered that my “discernment ministers” out hunting their false teachers are actually just a bunch of unarmed witless idiots. I mean that as kindly and gently as possible, I mean we’re all witless idiots sometimes. But for crying out loud, the very reason why you are so terrified of false teachers is because you haven’t even bothered to try arm your own self with The Word. Your own self!

Arm thy self. 

So like duh, if you’re reading everybody else’s words about the bible, you’re probably not reading the bible yourself. Why? Why would you think somebody else could explain it to you better, and then get angry when they fail you?

What power does a false teacher even have over you, if you are resting at Jesus’ feet and reading His words yourself?  Zero, zip, nada. I hate to sound so annoyed here, but I am about to stand on my five gallon bucket and start preaching like the prophets of old. Christians who do not read the bible are simply without excuse.

Yes, it is an abundantly rich blessing when you have people around who can help you to understand. Just the same, no one can do it for you.

So there are “none righteous, not one.”  You are never going to find a perfect teacher because you already have One.  While it is an immeasurable blessing to find a good one, to relax and be refreshed, the mindset that suggests people are just really vulnerable and easily led astray is all wrong. If that is even true, then get busy getting yourself “unvulnerable.”

I am laughing here, but I am so thankful for bad teachings! If it weren’t for them, I would never have thought to really dig in and go, Now wait a minute, did God really say…? It’s such a predominant theme in my life, I almost think pastors should just say something really hoky every Sunday, just to check and see if anyone is really listening….




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