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biology, blogging, culture, marriage, men and women, opinion, relationships
I snagged this video from over at JanJoy’s place, so hat tip to her for all the great stuff she often posts.
I really enjoy TD Jakes, I’ve read his books, listened to some of his sermons. He just always seems to drop a good word on me at the perfect time. A couple of my favorite things he’s said, “Don’t be your husband’s pastor. Don’t be inviting another man into your home.”
Oh, you betcha! Those are some wise words. We do that, we women, especially if we’re maternal. We’ll lecture our kids, then lecture our husbands, oh hold up there! Watch that last one. It’s very easy to slide into, and often unintentionally demeaning. You’re actually now treating a grown man like a child.
We are not attracted to our children. Maternal feelings are not romantic feelings, so when we begin to perceive grown men as our children, we kill off attraction signals, too. We slay romance. We cook our own goose.
Sometimes women like to make appeals to authority too, so like, “Well, the pastor said..” That’s what TD Jakes means about “not inviting another man into your home.” Some men really hate church and some of that is because women have made church “the other man,” and now they feel as if they are forced into competition with a perceived threat.
Poor guys, I wish more of them understood that pastors are often men themselves, that pastors are often full of praise and encouragement, and not condemnation.
I can’t remember exactly where he said it and this is a total paraphrase, but basically he once told women, “the enemy doesn’t want to kill you, he just needs to get you to pick up burdens you weren’t designed to carry.” That will become such an exercise in futility, it will just fill you with despair, end in failure, and kill off your hope. The enemy kills men outright, but he just crushes women and breaks our hearts. Why? I don’t know, I just know that analogy really resonated with me once and probably saved my life.
“He just needs to get you to pick up burdens you weren’t designed to carry.” That’s always been a huge issue for me and often the world, dysfunctional family members, even many men, will all be working against you, trying to get you to pick up burdens you weren’t even designed to carry.
Some of those bits of TD Jakes wisdom are captured here in this video.
MJThompson said:
“Well, the pastor said..”
A quick footnote: True believers should NEVER rely upon, nor present as a valid argument, ANYTHING merely presented by another. All due respect to T.D. Jakes (and hundreds of other ordained pastors) who is more likely sharing Spirit led truth. But, a big problem in Christendom Is the tendency to merely parrot the shared convictions of others rather than making them a personal reality prior to passing it on.
It is quite naïve to cite as godly authority (“Well, the pastor said…”) ANYONE other than God Himself. A right relationship with God obliterates the need for any such second-hand admonishments. “But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give an answer to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear” – 1Pt. 3:15.
Of course we ALL would do well to listen to and receive from ministers of God, T.D. Jakes, one of many I personally appreciate. I’m just saying that when it comes to passing on to others a perceived truth, it should come from your personal convictions, NOT merely what you heard from another.
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RichardP said:
True believers should NEVER rely upon, nor present as a valid argument, ANYTHING merely presented by another.
Personal experience is the only valid truth for self?
The entire Bible is filled with valid arguments merely presented by others.
I can only assume that you didn’t mean we should ignore the Bible because it didn’t happen to us.. But the words you chose to use suggest otherwise.
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RichardP said:
Italics error.
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