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Chuckled when I saw this. I’m always up for a good laugh, and what I found rather funny is that honestly what I would probably do is just quietly close the door and simply walk down to the park to use the public restroom.
C’mon people, I’m a mom. We see some “stuff,” I’m telling you. I’m way past totally numb and now just hurling down the cliff on the other side. I stopped screaming ages ago.
My response to a ten foot snake in my bathroom would be like, “Figures. Thanks a lot, people.” If I were to have any emotional response at all it would be 3 days later at 2 Am. Then I’d just be like, “You know, I think I want to talk about that snake….”
My husband is mildly concerned. He thinks I have no reflexes. That’s what he calls it “reflexes.” Then he tapped on my knee to try and prove it. He’s totally right, I have no reflexes. He tried sneaking up on me the other day and I just yawned. He’s trying to be all big, bad, and scary, and I’m more like, “Oh are you the Boogey man? Good, just kill me now.”
Poor guy, he actually gets annoyed with me. It’s like, “Why didn’t you say anything? There’s a 10 foot snake in our bathroom!” Well, I didn’t say anything because 90% of what I say is completely ignored anyway. What’s the point? I guess if the snake bothers you, you’ll do something about it. Until then it lives in our bathroom…
That is actually the truth of motherhood and wifedom, it takes it’s toll on you, it leaves you spent and depleted. I actually resigned from it totally a few years back. I gave my two weeks notice and everything. Like, I’m so done folks. Totally spent and all used up. But of course, they completely ignore 90% of what I say anyway, so here we are a few years later and people are still acting shocked and surprised.
Some people say sweet things like, “you’ll always be my little baby.” My husband says stuff like that. I sure don’t! I’m more like, why in the heck would I even care where your socks are?
I am recovering. I am in recovery. It is a process. My totally empty cup is being slowly replenished and renewed. With any luck, I will soon redevelop some “reflexes” too, and perhaps when that happens, I will once again be able to jump back in surprise, maybe even squeal.
Actually if you really want to shock me, get the 10 ft snake out of the bathroom without anyone having to ask you 50 times, and clean the gutters, too. If that ever happened, I’d probably faint dead away.
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
See, there's this thing called biology... 
“Snakes” in my bathroom usually aren’t that large.
But I can empathize with that fellow… there have been many times where I’ve been forced to hug the commode. What’s his name? (Funny how we assume it’s a “he”)
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In my case, my wife would make us move into another home, and it wouldn’t matter what I actually did with the snake.
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Oh, my goodness… tears of laughter streaming down my cheeks, dear IB! I can sooooo relate! I think it is time for you to write your own Erma Bombeck-style book! So many of us can totally relate to your wonderful sense of humor!! 🙂 ❤ ❤
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I would buy that book!
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LOL This was a pleasure to read. Not sure I would do after the initial yell.
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Ahhh, I’m not alone! Love this!
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Girl! I can totally relate. 😂😂😂 That was an awesome read!
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Grew up mostly on the Mississippi Gulf Coast. Instinct is to kill a snake on sight. Mellowed a bit. If I am in a wildlife preserve, I wiil just make sure it keeps its distance.
Why that attitude? Problem with water moccasins is the darn things are aggressive and poisonous, and there plenty of them on the Mississippi Gulf Coast. Not the sort of critter you want in the neighborhood.
Live in Northern Virginia now. We have these six-foot black rat snakes. Harmless, but they don’t have the good sense to “run” away. Other than a moccasin, any other snake hightails it when a human comes near. Fortunately for them I know what they are before I can find something to kill them with.
Funny thing about snakes is they have been known to kill more people with fear than poison. If those black rat snakes get in the house our truce is over. Poisonous or not.
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I would figure out a way to get it outside, my wife would call a realtor first thing in the morning, from a hotel
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Love your sense of humor. Thank you. Actually, a 10-foot snake in the bathroom wouldn’t bother me either. But I have no chance of fainting because while my husband might try to surprise me by cleaning out the gutters…the snake would stay put!
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Above and beyond the snake thing, it was the gutters that stole the show.
But the slithering slippery serpent takes me back to the good ol days………in the days of Genesis, when that creature had other plans. 😉
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Another total all out laugher! Good one, IB. LOL 😀
Becky
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First of all, the ten foot snake in the picture appears to be a boa constrictor. No harm in its bite; just don’t let it wrap itself around your neck.
Second, a snake like that is likely to be someone’s pet. They might be too embarrassed to post pictures of it around the neighborhood, but I’m sure they want it back. Maybe advertise its existence and see who comes to claim it.
Third, that fuzzy toilet seat cover would totally warn me that I’m in the wrong bathroom. Maybe I’ve walked in my sleep to my neighbor’s house and the snake is her pet, entirely at home.
J.
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Ha! I never thought of that! Far worse then encountering a snake, I might actually be in the wrong bathroom! Now see, there’s always something even more troubling to worry about. 🙂
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