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bathroomChuckled when I saw this. I’m always up for a good laugh, and what I found rather funny is that honestly what I would probably do is just quietly close the door and simply walk down to the park to use the public restroom.

C’mon people, I’m a mom. We see some  “stuff,” I’m telling you. I’m way past totally numb and now just hurling down the cliff on the other side. I stopped screaming ages ago.

My response to a ten foot snake in my bathroom would be like, “Figures. Thanks a lot, people.” If I were to have any emotional response at all it would be 3 days later at 2 Am. Then I’d just be like, “You know, I think I want to talk about that snake….”

My husband is mildly concerned. He thinks I have no reflexes. That’s what he calls it “reflexes.” Then he tapped on my knee to try and prove it. He’s totally right, I have no reflexes. He tried sneaking up on me the other day and I just yawned. He’s trying to be all big, bad, and scary, and I’m more like, “Oh are you the Boogey man? Good,  just kill me now.”

Poor guy, he actually gets annoyed with me. It’s like, “Why didn’t you say anything? There’s a 10 foot snake in our bathroom!” Well, I didn’t say anything because 90% of what I say is completely ignored anyway. What’s the point? I guess if the snake bothers you, you’ll do something about it. Until then it lives in our bathroom…

That is actually the truth of motherhood and wifedom, it takes it’s toll on you, it leaves you spent and depleted. I actually resigned from it totally a  few years back. I gave my two weeks notice and everything. Like, I’m so done folks. Totally spent and all used up. But of course, they completely ignore 90% of what I say anyway, so here we are a few years later and people are still acting shocked and surprised.

Some people say sweet things like, “you’ll always be my little baby.” My husband says stuff like that. I sure don’t! I’m more like, why in the heck would I even care where your socks are? 

I am recovering. I am in recovery. It is a process. My totally empty cup is being slowly replenished and renewed.  With any luck, I will soon redevelop some “reflexes” too, and perhaps when that happens, I will once again be able to jump back in surprise, maybe even squeal.

Actually if you really want to shock me, get the 10 ft snake out of the bathroom without anyone having to ask you 50 times, and clean the gutters, too. If that ever happened, I’d probably faint dead away.


person holding red and black snake

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