The issue of “boundaries” has come up over and over again over the past few weeks and I find it a really interesting paradox.
I was listening to a podcast not long ago and I heard mention of the pop psychology concept of “boundaries,” said with the same kind of mild disdain I feel about the whole matter. A pastor I adore recently spoke of boundaries, too. The other day I said, “uh no.” a form of setting a boundary, and I inadvertently created a firestorm of melodrama. It’s a bit comical in the sense that I thought nothing of it, like just simply “no.” I mean really, how much trouble can a two letter word really cause?
Bahahaha. Uh yeah. Quite a bit of trouble apparently.
I have an exceeding dislike for the pop culture notion of “boundaries” and a great love for the biblical notion. There is a huge difference and I’m not quite sure exactly what it is, but it IS. The bible has this lovely bit of wisdom in Proverbs 25:28, “He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.”
That is one profound little Proverb, let me tell you. He that hath no rule over his own spirit shall henceforth be known as road pizza. Fresh meat. Collateral damage. A bit of flotsam caught in the tide of life. You are completely unprotected, like a babe in the woods. Been there and done that. I have the tee-shirt to prove it.
Or perhaps the more aggressive form of having “no rule over your own spirit” would be a bully. Just an unprotected city of constant hostility with a powerful need to rob others of any power you might find potentially threatening.
One issue I have with the pop psychology version is that it simply says, “build walls.” Absent the spiritual you have no spirit to rule over, so you know, just build bigger walls. Pretty soon we are all just hiding behind our walls, feeling quite isolated and terrified. But Jesus Christ didn’t build walls and He is NOT now sitting up behind a great big wall. He actually rules. He is seated in victory…..with His arms wide open to us.
We were designed to rule. I really believe that. We were actually designed to rule in victory, seated right next to Jesus Christ. So when we can turn to Him and allow Him to lead us in learning how to rule over our own spirit, we can create spiritual and emotional safety in our lives. You just can’t do that by throwing up walls. Walls can be scaled or knocked down. Then there are these Trojan horses…..but I digress.
It occurs to me that while I am busy pondering the nature of boundaries, walls, and genuine rule over your own spirit in a much more personal context, our nation as a whole is having a much larger conversation about a wall and some boundaries. I don’t wish to go all political here. Ha! Mostly on account of the fact that there seems to be quite a few people with some very limited rule over their own spirits and that always creates a huge emotional mess.
No condemnation intended. A huge emotional mess can be a beautful thing, it just makes internet communication very challenging.
I just happen to believe that this is a necessary and vital discussion to be having, that it is okay to say “no,” and that the key to life is to not reactively just throw up another wall, but to actually learn how to, rule over your own spirit. Start there and the rest just has a way of falling right into place.
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
See, there's this thing called biology... 
“like a city broken down and without walls” sounds a lot like we need walls. Thanks for the thought. Many cities in the Bible had walls. They were as nothing if God chose to have them come down, but it seems like they were expected. I question whether it was to keep the “bully” within as much as to keep the “bully” out. Thinking.
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Reblogged this on ENLIGHTENMENT ANGELS.
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I left this comment for tsalmon on my blog.
Why does a city or a country need walls or secure borders? Without walls or secure borders, a city or a nation cannot keep out invaders. Invaders have no loyalty to the city or nation they invade. They have little appreciation for their victims traditions or ways. To them that city or nation is not home. It is simply a means to an end.
When we have rule over our spirit, we set boundaries on our behavior. We say this is permissible, and that is not. We say work is appropriate in that instance and play is appropriate in that instance. We say sex is appropriate with our spouse and not with someone else. Just as strong walls and secure borders separate friendlies from invaders, self control allows us to distinguish and practice good behavior instead of bad behavior.
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Comment in moderation.
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Sorry about the mod, Tom. It’s a great comment. I like how we were both thinking of the same Proverb. In the modern West, culturally many people don’t really understand “walls.” A city with walls would be like East Berlin or something. We just don’t have walls around our cities in the US in modern times. I think that is a small part of the misunderstanding.
Where I live many people move here opposed to fences. They want wide open spaces, nature, and public access trails. Then all the deer show up to eat their gardens and transients start camping on the trails and suddenly everyone is up in arms.
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I thought “Comment in moderation” was a suggestion to all of us 🤔😂🤙
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Me. A moderate? NEVER! I think it is better to be correct.
😆
Seriously! If you are in the middle, you are neither hot or cold, just lukewarm.
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My love for God is never lukewarm, but I’ll hold off on ever calling myself “correct” on any matter. Hijinks will ensue 🤔😳😂
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🤗
To have faith is to believe we know something to be true. God is real, and He loves us. That we should love and obey Him. That what He has reveal is true. But do we completely understand God? No. So we have to muddle through this life as best we can.
🙂
It is hard be right all the time.
😀
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Ha! Good one, Crafty. 🙂
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Speaking of walls, I’ve seen kids in grocery stores wailing at their parents because they didn’t get the chocolate bar, and carrying on tantrums that would make the kids at the border in fenced areas with boundaries (not cages) look like model boy scouts………..oh the deprivation and child abuse for not ‘buying the chocolate!’
Don’t be deceived by the tears I say. 😉 anyway, boundaries are good, heck, we use them every day. Even the weeds in our gardens have no right to encroach on the flower’s space. Rant over. 😉
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Yep. True story, but there are places in this very country where kids are trying to break into the system, because they are seeking safety and protection. That is a harsh truth for privileged Western eyes to confront, but sometimes what we perceive as “just appalling” is actually a refuge, a safe place, a vast improvement over where they once were. It irritates the heck out of me that we are so blind to the actual plight of children on the streets, in the desert, that when we see them somewhere safe and cared for, we start lamenting about child abuse.
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UB rite, and ib in agreement. 😉
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I love this. If more people had the ability to rule over their own spirits and actually practiced it this would halt the cultural breakdown we are in the middle of. Alas, they don’t or won’t and so down the sewer hole we go. Excellent message though.
Love the pic too. It’s the Mont St Michel Abbey in France.
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When I was a high school student, a teacher showed the class a movie I still vividly remember. I believe the actor was Marcel Marceau; anyway, he was a mime. He had a beautiful garden, but he didn’t want to share it. First he built a low fence to keep out rabbits, then he built a higher wall to keep out children, finally he totally enclosed it to keep out birds. Of course the plants could not thrive enclosed that way. So he took down the walls and learned to tolerate the birds and rabbits and children. It was a charming short feature; I don’t remember its title. J.
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Ahh, sweet story, Salvageable. It sounds vaguely familiar, but I can’t quite remember it.
The other day I was really noticing how many stories we have about the evil of fences and while I’m taking this totally out of context, I believe so many of those stories have really shaped our negative perceptions. Some of my kids will totally go, “fences are bad, all fences, all of the time.” Well now wait a minute, fences are neutral, context is everything. We have fences to keep the dogs from getting run over, fences to keep the deer out of the garden.
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Sometimes God’s commandments are described as a curb or fence to keep some order in a sinful world. Of course the same commandments also function as a mirror to show us our sins and our need for a Savior. But, as a fence, they offer us a fair amount of protection from one another. J.
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I immediately thought of those of a certain personality type who always think they are right, and are unable to accept any other idea or challenge. It seems to be common among spoiled kids who were raised by spoiled parents, or parents who rebelled against discipline, who didn’t like some abusive parent, or teacher , or boss, or,,, and delared to them selves “I will never discipline my children, my students, my employee’s” . There are so many factors, none the less, there becomes a balance issue, a pride issue, and a spiritual issue, at least,, . An unwillingness to accept a counter point, a thinking there is no higher power than themselves, and totally leaving God and a higher way out of the picture.
I am pretty sure I have embodied all this and more, that is the negative aspects, at some time or other in my life, it has only been through the loving prayers timely actions, and hard to hear reality bites that I am anywhere near understanding of others going through that terrible process that is nearly banned in some corners called education, learning, the school of hard knocks, the college of adversity, and letting go, oh that’s a real hard one.
Blessings
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