Read a couple of blogs recently around the idea of, “not being that kind of Christian,” as if to say that’s it, I’m no longer an evangelical, I reject fundamentalism, no more potlucks, I’m done, I totally renounce any affiliation with those kind of people.
It kind of made me a laugh because I so get that. Also, about 8 out of the ten reasons for why we’re breaking up, I completely agree with.
I think it’s really good to shrink your world down to size, to find your tribe, your flavor, if you will. In a smaller context, here’s my people, this is where I fit. That’s awesome, I myself sometimes say my husband is the bestest, my grandkids are the cutest, because that’s my tribe. It’s vastly superior to all the others! Naturally.
However, sometimes our tribalism can take over and begin to rule our world. It can skew our perceptions. It clouds our judgment. It actually leads to judgment, and then to condemnation.
Do you ever get angry? I get angry sometimes. Generally, I like everybody. Everybody serves a purpose, everybody’s got something good about them, but then there’s a handful of people who really mess with my head. Like, that’s such a breathtakingly horrific representation of Jesus Christ, I just want to put you on a giant catapult and fling you off the planet.
I’m not opposed to giant catapults and totally evicting people from my world. I think discernment is really important. I’ll go so far as to say there are some people representing Jesus Christ and I just can’t see it. I’m really skeptical about whether or not you people know Him at all.
That kind of stuff really messes with my head. In my opinion, there is no halfway saved or a little bit in Christ. That’s like being sorta pregnant. Kind of married. Half dead. There is no, “I claim His name and yet there is absolutely no evidence of Him in my life anywhere or in how I treat other people.”
For the insecure among us, I speak of some big stuff, not the fact that you may have flipped someone off in traffic or that people just aren’t too keen on some doctrine or something. I mean like 9 out of ten sensible people would look at that person and go, if that’s Christianity, I want nothing to do with it.
I too have had that urge to say, you know what, I’m not that kind of Christian. In fact, sometimes I’m reluctant to call myself “Christian” at all. I’d like to call myself something completely different just to make sure there is a strong line drawn in the sand. How about disciple, apostle, follower of the way, in a relationship? Anything, anything at all that will make it obvious, I am not, “that kind of Christian.”
Yes, absolutely, that’s how I feel sometimes. The Lord however has said, No. No, I want you to claim them. I want you to call them your own, every last one. I didn’t get that at first and it’s been a rocky journey, but I’m starting to see the value in that, the benefit. When I wash my hands of a group of people, we’re done and I can walk away. It’s not my problem.
But what do I do when someone is my own? Stick to them like glue. Annoy the heck out of them like a mother hen, always trying to call them to their higher selves. Pick up your socks. Do your laundry. Brush your teeth. Stop being stoopid. Isn’t the name of Jesus Christ important enough? Isn’t it worth fighting for? I think it is. I think we’re called to reach across the political aisle, across the denominational divide, through the culture, and right into the living room of the nearest tax collector. Pharisee. Leper. White supremist.
Or, even John Pavlovitz. I’m standing in your kitchen, John. You need more of Him and less of you, John. Just saying. Now of course John with his hyper tolerant advocacy of all things, doesn’t believe I’m, “his kind of Christian.” His brand of tolerance is about as meaningful as taking the designer label off a shirt and sewing it onto your own. Also, he totally ignores me like so many who I call my own do.
Doesn’t matter. I still show up, I still offer my hand.
It’s a harsh truth to confront, but often the people who need us the most are already sitting in a church, they already know the Lord, or they might even be calling themselves a pastor, like the three I tend to blog about often, 2 red pills and a Pavlovitz. It’s interesting, the right politics sure don’t make you a Christian. Neither does your world view. Nor your denomination. Nor what tribe you align yourself with. Being a pastor doesn’t make you a Christian, either.
Jesus Christ makes you a Christian.
When Jesus Christ makes you a Christian it’s no longer about your tribe or your opinions, or where your loyalties lay, or even how the world perceives you. It’s simply about being about the Father’s business. Loving people is not always so easy, in fact, it can be downright painful. We have to die to ourselves, we have to let go of offense, we have to become peace makers with our own anger, our fear, our unforgiveness, whatever it is that gets in the way and slows us down.
Don’t wash your hands of people. I know it’s tempting, but Jesus Christ did not wash His hands of us. Also, listen up! I’m not “one of those Christians,” I’m probably far worse as in, Pick up your socks. Do your laundry. Brush your teeth. Stop being stoopid.
lovesdeepwaters said:
I can so relate! Just when I thought being assaulted by a clergyman, paralyzed by another, and condemned by the church was the extent of it. Try reaching out to any of those kind as a prison wife!! Yikes! Put down the pitchforks people. Thank goodness Jesus isn’t like that!
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insanitybytes22 said:
Yikes indeed. Sometimes I think Christians forget we aren’t supposed to be the ones with the horns and pitchforks. That’s the other side. You are so right however, Jesus is not like that at all. He is the one who walked in our shoes, who experienced all those things we sometimes do, who threw over some chairs and tossed some people out of the temple.
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Ash Pariseau said:
I struggle to find Christians I can reason with and relate to but you are one of the most reasonable and relatable I know of.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Ahh, thank you for your kind words. 🙂
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Stephan Caraway said:
This post is outstanding! you have captured my feeling as if you were in side of my brain. I have found myself embarrassed by the behavior of some who call themselves Christians. I have been using the phrase of follower of Jesus. But your right Jesus is what makes us a Christian. A popular evangelist commonly says,”Sometimes I think God called me to bring salvation to the Christians.” It is a systematic of today’s Christian.
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lynnabbottstudios said:
Yes. Simply yes! ❤ and hugs!
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writingbolt said:
I think any time you or anyone touches this sensitive matter–and faith is about as personal and touchy as any part of the anatomy comes–you run the risk of having fingers touching noses and pointing right back at you.
So, when you say you generally like everyone but are not opposed to those catapults, that’s a hair off hypocrisy. But, if I speak up about that, I risk being a hypocrite myself. And, the cycle goes ’round.
If you generally like everyone and want to be the best “Christian” you can be…and if you’re content with your tribe…let everyone else be and don’t give into the temptation to use any weapon to fling the “infuriating,” leaving that decision to your higher power of choice. [And, do not pray they get flung unless they are threatening your very life.]
I suspect the forces of darkness are responsible for us feeling “ashamed” of calling ourselves by any religious name. It’s sort of like a smear campaign to convince those wearing Republican buttons to take them off and any trace of red lest you be associated with THAT guy. If we give into it, what are we? Where DO we stand? Didn’t we just believe we were Christian and good a moment ago?
But, sure, coming up with a new, unique title for our personal beliefs and “way” sounds great. Yet, I feel there’d be so many “ways” no two would see alike. Maybe that’s not all bad if it stops the violence and hate. But, how does that support community and teamwork?
I know it’s not the highest right to brush people off or just let them be; it’s an easier path than I could take. But, for now, it’s better than risking a fight with “those people” and adding to my internal stress. So, for my survival of sanity, Mrs Insanitybites, I must let those I don’t like at all or even a little bit to do what they may and let the “authority” handle it while I look for those I want in my tribe and work with them toward enjoying this life I’ve been forced or blessed to live.
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insanitybytes22 said:
I fished you out of spam. WordPress is glitching again, sorry about that.
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writingbolt said:
I knew it! What is going on? Spam? So, my comments are going into the bad filter folders? Great. As I wrote about, I was trying to get rid of some unwanted Follow-ers when the whole page decided to jam up and complain about some script; then, when I commented on un-followed blogs, I didn’t see my comments. But, with your post, I thought I could see my comment after I sent it and figured it was because I had you on Follow.
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soakedduck said:
Over 30 years in ministry and still perplexed by those who grab one verse as a mantra t5o explain why they’re right and ignore a 1,000 others in explaining that they are not. To quote the Dread Pirate Roberts, “Life is pain and anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something.” My message is quite simple, life is painful, but there is help, so we need not feel hopeless; God sent His Son to repair what was broken and in due time He will have those who believe repaired and operational. So be of good cheer, He has overcome the world. Keep up the good writing Itsy!
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insanitybytes22 said:
Ahh, love that message. 🙂
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MJThompson said:
I totally get it. Apparently, so did James.
“Show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith by my works. You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe—and tremble! But do you not know, O foolish man, that faith without works is dead?” – Jas. 2:18-20.
I fled one ‘brand’ of Christendom indignant over their blatant hypocrisy, double standards, and false dogma. Attracted by another’s seemingly refreshing approach to worship, I joined them for a time. Unfortunately, I later realized that their initial appeal was more about exposing the ‘tribe’ I just left than seeking a deeper relationship with Jesus.
Having finally found a fellowship that aligned perfectly with what I believed God ordained, I pursued formal credentials and became a licensed minister among them. I pastored three congregations over the next 30 years. Then I was asked to leave by the denominational ‘heads’ because I promoted Grace and eternal security too liberally.
I now attend a non-denominational church, but only as an occasional ‘guest’. I still conduct theological research and operate a counseling center, but I’m a bit ‘gun-shy’ when it comes to joining fellowships in any ‘official’ way. My wife of 42 years and I have always been avid tithers, so we give regularly to a Christian outreach that displays good works conscientiously.
My best fellowship with Jesus has always been in my private prayer closet. I’ve settled for that – rather, I’ve come to value the sum of my life’s experiences as Christ in me. Every once in a while I find Him in others too.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Love your comment. I am gun shy too, sometimes. I was once literally in the closet and the Lord spoke rather clearly to me, “So, you need to get out of the closet now.” It’s a bit humorous because it was that simple, plain as day. Sorry, but you just can’t follow me from the safety of your closet anymore. 🙂
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Julie said:
“Then I was asked to leave by the denominational ‘heads’ because I promoted Grace and eternal security too liberally.” More liberally than Jesus?
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lovelifeandgod said:
I suppose even if we did try to call ourselves something different, the “others” would catch on and hop on the bandwagon too…
I’ve found myself in the uncomfortable position of having to deal with a real-life “that kind of Christian.” We’re in the same program, one that is quite small and prone to gossip, and so over the course of the past few weeks before exams, I’ve had to hear all about peoples’ unpleasant encounters with him (and witnessed a few of them myself). It’s not so much that he’s a Pharisee-type, more like he’s just very arrogant and prone to demeaning people he thinks aren’t “smart enough,” without a religious bend to it. The thing is, I’m not quite sure how to go about “claiming” him as a brother in Christ and gently pointing out to him how much he has been upsetting others (and himself) with his behavior. I used to be very confrontational, as in, if I have a problem I’m going to let you know, probably very loudly and very much in public, and sometimes I’m tempted to act like that again (especially when I heard he insulted my good friend in one of the worst possible ways). However, I know that that wouldn’t be fruitful, as it would just make him defensive, and it would end up being more about me being “the one to tell him off” rather than genuinely pointing him to the truth in love. I would really appreciate getting some idea on how to approach him.
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insanitybytes22 said:
That is a tough situation. I think you can’t go wrong, I think that no matter what you do, it will be right because you’re listening to the Holy Spirit. You can also simply intercede for him, pray for him, ask the Lord to take care of it.
Dealing with guys and arrogance can be tricky because they tend to just put up a wall of defense. So you can be very confrontational and aggressive or you can soften and gentle yourself and try to come in under the radar, but that takes a lot of patience. Sometimes beneath all the bluster they really do care about what we think. Not always, but sometimes if you simply point out that so and so is your good friend, they’ll respect that. Sometimes if you mention that the way they’re acting hurts you, they’ll stop. You’re appealing to their honor, their integrity, their desire to be seen by you in pleasing light. I’ve had some success simply by asking as sweetly as possible, “could you soften your tone about so and so?” I’m always surprised by a “sure” or an “okay,” but more often then not, that’s exactly what they say.
The problem with being confrontational and aggressive is that many guys just see that as an invitation to go to war, to double down, and then they tend to really stick their fingers in their ears and not listen. Sometimes that’s the only thing you can do, for your own peace of mind, make your disagreement known and walk away.
A woman said something really cool today, she said “God isn’t interested in fixing it, He’s interested in restoring relationship.” I really liked that, because I tend to want to fix things, straighten this injustice out, but God wants to lead people into a deeper relationship with Him. When I can remember that, I can check my motivations.
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lovelifeandgod said:
Thanks, IB. That’s some really great advice. I’ve prayed for him a little, but there was usually a bit of indignation involved, just as you said, things like, “Lord, can you just fix this dude and be done with it?” So I’m trying to get a better heart about this. The goal is always to encourage people into a closer relationship with Jesus, and we always have to start with ourselves. I think I see a lot of potential in this guy, if I put away that indignation. I think his lack of reservation can be a force for good if he has the right heart. I just have to remember that God has a plan for him, and I can help with that by being patient, praying on it, and gently reminding him to be mindful of others.
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Mike Ridenour said:
What is tough to remember is that arrogance is not self-confidence. It is just the opposite. Arrogance is a mask to cover weakness. I’ve been arrogant. I’m prone to be that way again. You may not be the person that can burrow beneath it and pop a hole in the dam revealing the true person behind the mask but you can pray that person comes along.
I’ve found the people that annoy me the most are either hiding something about themselves they feel ashamed of or revealing something about myself I still want to hide. When I look deeper, it softens my heart and changes my perception.
Arrogance is hard to get away from, even is I intentionally address it daily. It is tougher to break free from than a drug addiction.
The arrogant need help and often just don’t know they do.
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lovelifeandgod said:
Thank you, that’s a really great perspective to consider. Sometimes I do notice a bit of that hidden weakness peaking through the cracks and it does indeed soften my heart. It is definitely helpful to remember that people who annoy us are human too, and none of us are free from pride, it just comes in different forms with some being easier to recognize than others. So, as you said, if this situation really irritates me then maybe it’s not just about this young man’s arrogance; maybe there’s also an issue within myself that I need to address.
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Wally Fry said:
Well, I certainly cannot fellowship with those who don’t do potluck. Goodbye. Okay, not really. Good post IB
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insanitybytes22 said:
Ha! Yeah, People Opposed to Potlucks might just be a step too far. We’ll call them POPs and make them go sit in a field somewhere. 🙂
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Wally Fry said:
Yeah!
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Citizen Tom said:
I too am a member of the Christian foodie sect.
😉
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insanitybytes22 said:
Good, Tom can sit with us.:)
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Wally Fry said:
Ha ha ha!
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Mike Ridenour said:
Please bring pie!
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Wally Fry said:
You got it, Mike!
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sarahspencer16 said:
This is a really interesting read!
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Mike Ridenour said:
This is excellent.
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Julie said:
I don’t know who John is and I don’t want to know. (Listen to me washing my hands of him before I know a single thing about him.) I’m too old and too far down the Christian road for blathering. I just want to see Jesus. And some fruit.
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SharaC said:
Haha a giant catapult… if only that could be a thing lol. Lots of food for thought here… the pendulum swings so far from one side to the other it’s hard to understand sometimes where people are really coming from when they announce they’re “done” with the traditional (fill in the blank) type Christian or church. I confess that most times when I hear people say that I think it has at least a little to do with a Holy Spirit conviction that calls them to pick up a cross and follow… and not always just the “hypocrisy” they see in fellow Christians… which there is in abundance, I know. Tribes can be good, but loking to our tribe to be our example is like looking for the fellow sick people in the waiting room to heal you… 😉 You show a really good balance I think of all that…
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Mel Wild said:
Great points, IB. As it’s been said, the only real problem with Christianity is the Christians. Finding a “healthy” tribe is important. It doesn’t matter what flavor, as long as you’re growing in Christ. Unfortunately, it’s relational dysfunction that makes it ugly and stressful.
And it’s also all about the food, btw. 🙂
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thereallifechristian said:
I love when you said, “Jesus Christ makes you a Christian.” That is the only thing that makes us any different. Great post!
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beautyforashesis613 said:
Thoroughly enjoyed this post!
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Delilah Bowers said:
Stumbled across this blog and happy that I did! Really great post! ❤️
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Jennifer Graham said:
Love love love this post! Thank you for NOT being one of “those” Christians, it can be quite frustrating when “those” Christians are in charge of so many things in a church. God is so good, so thankful he didn’t wash his hands of us!
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YourLastDayOnEarth said:
Great read!!!🙌🏻
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BreadOfLife said:
I love this.
👏
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damascusgenerationministry said:
I really enjoyed your blog. You have inspired me to write in a different style in my own blog. You’ve also helped shift my perspective to better lenses. Love you and bless you in Jesus name. Keep sharing truth and inspiration.
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