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Men are scary. They just are.

You may wonder what inspired this post. It was actually a discussion about male privilege and how oppressed women are in the modern Western world. Some people on the internet have no idea how much self control I often practice, because I decided to bless those people with nothing more than a one-sided conversation in my own head…..

It is very annoying when I am busy trying to self-identify as privileged, and 50 people on the internet are insisting all women are oppressed, downtrodden, victims of male privilege and patriarchy. Back to the salt mines you go, woman…….

Hey, respect my pronouns, people!

The thing is, if we are allowed to self identify as one of 64 newly created gender categories, it seems only fair that I be allowed to just self identify as privileged, female privileged. And none of this female cis-gendered stuff either, I wish to be a Born-Woman- Female-Privileged. A BWFP. I demand my own category. Get on that already!

Which does beg the question, if whatever you are is somehow “oppressed,” just go ahead and self identify as “privileged” now and call it good. There, FIFY. You’re welcome.

I-dentity politics, I loves them. They are so……irrational and incoherent, like being stuck in a perpetual loop to nowhere.

Back to the scary men, however. IB is so not scary. I could have a complete melt down in the produce section at the grocery store and I might draw a few curious stares. If I am lucky, I might startle some fragile person already prone to anxiety. Indeed, it would take some serious work on my part, some major destruction, just to get anyone’s attention at all. Oh look,  IB’s abusing the lemons again. Eye roll.

My husband is a real teddy bear, well, to all of us anyway. Very sweet guy. If he were to have the exact same melt down in the produce section of the grocery store, we’re talking swat team. Black helicopters. Tranquilizer darts. The National Guard. It would be more like a Godzilla movie or preparing for King Kong. He’s scary. He’s scary without even trying. I bet he wouldn’t even have to throw a single watermelon.

That’s so not fair! Sexism for sure, but really the sexism of female privilege at play. Being scary is not always such a good thing.  You scare people. Scared people are prone to react defensively. I have a certain kind of freedom he just does not have. The odds are in my favor. It is far less likely I will ever have to deal with anyone’s fear based response to me. Not impossible, but far, far less likely. Men tend to get shot a whole lot more often, because they are scary.

I remember over the years, the kids chiding their dad, Dad, chill! Dad stop, you’re going to scare people. Dad, you’re going to embarrass us. The poor man once yelled “crap” at a four way stop and cleared the whole intersection. I also remember the hurt in his eyes, the confusion that clouded over them each and every time we said something.

The look that said, but I’d never hurt any of you.

Ouch. That’s a burden I’ve never had to bear, a hurt I’ve never had to endure.

I’m sorry.