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“Entire Church Body Suffers Heat Stroke As Thermostat Set Slightly Above 72 Degrees”-Babylon Bee
“…Dumping water bottles and iced coffees on themselves, congregants attempted in vain to stave off the effects of the desert-like environment, according to rescue crews who arrived on the scene after a brave usher was able to call authorities from his nearly melted phone.”
Ha! Yes indeed.
First a disclaimer, this post in no way applies to my husband who is an exception to my lament, who is currently scaring the heck out me 3 stories up on a torch down roof. It is black, in the full sun, and roofers are allowed to complain anytime the temp passes 50 degrees. Things like digging ditches are hot work work no matter what the temp is.
However, the rest of you are without excuse, in fact you’re just comedic fodder. You’re also a good example of the impact of mediated reality on unfiltered brains. My kids, my mother, my co-inhabitants, “oh, it’s going to be so, so hot today, we’re going to have to keep the drapes closed on the front of the house and eat light and remember to drink lots of water, oh where’s the fan…..”
People, it’s 47 degrees outside right now. If we are truly blessed, we shall hit a high of…..72 degrees today. You can’t possibly be dying of heat stroke. Heavy breathing and panting is simply not allowed. Also, “I don’t like to work in this kind heat” is totally off the table….none of you work at all, ever. Let’s not blame the heat for that.
Mediated reality. You know why everyone does this? They watch the news, they listen to the heat advisories, they create totally imaginary scenarios in their heads, that just do not apply to where we live at all.
Don’t even get me started on global warming, the impending drought, the desert like conditions, the food shortages……just don’t, I really will go crazy. We are not suffering man-made climate change, we are suffering seasonal climate change, AKA, summer.
Also, not to put too fine of a point on it, but we are not really “suffering” at all. We are sheltered here, in paradise really, blissfully unaware of what “heat” is even like. “But I’m dying here…” Truly, I sometimes wish you’d just get on with it already. These death throes are going to last well into September.
See, there's this thing called biology... 
come down our way if you want heat—and ask our out door work crews about heat and humidity……
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What Julie said!
Look, one of my callings is the be the church environmental control officer LOL. Meaning I come down at 530 on Sunday morning and turn stuff on. It’s never right, never. I sit in the choir and watch. 1/3 are wrapping themselves in blankets, 1/3 are fanning with their programs, and the remaining really vocal 1/3 are clutching their throats and gagging. It’s a thankless job.
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Exactly what I was thinking–the building has never been at a temperature that suits everyone. Some are too hot, others are too cold, and so long as those two groups are about equal in number, you’ve done the best you can. J.
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That’s exactly how I see it too
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Well, if the pastor doesn’t have a good sermon, he can distract everyone by giving each member of the congregation a remote that controls the thermostat. Would be fun to watch from a room with a one-way mirror and a separate air conditioning system?
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You might want holler proof glass in that observation room Tom
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Oops!
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Sheesh auto spell. That was supposed to be bullet proof
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Both. Definitely both.
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I think you are right, either fits!
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Bit toasty down here as well, heat index 110 degrees. “Glad its going down to 85” my husband’s words last night. But perspective works both ways, whenever we head north there’s similar complaints of any “cold” that nears south of the 60’s. Hang in there IB!
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I’m up to my neck with weather men/women who seem to feast on making drama out of weather. And I would gladly throttle the brainioso who came up with “92 feels like 112” AKA a heat index. The way it plays out to weatherphobiacs is to be able to take the most miserable of the two. Me: “It is only 91.” W-phobiac: “That’s 108 on the heat index.” No one ever said, “It was 98 today but felt like 87.”
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Thanks for putting me in touch with Babylon Bee, funny stuff. Your embellishments add so much too!
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Thanks for the laugh, good stuff. 😂
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You are a blessing! Thanks!
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“You’re also a good example of the impact of mediated reality on unfiltered brains.”
Subjectivity strikes again. Based on the differences in response to a measurable condition, it’s hardly surprising that concepts such as need, harm, and abuse are perceived so differently.
A temperature of 72 degrees? The forecast here shows we might reach that …. as the daily low early Sunday morning.
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Too funny. I live in a absolutely beautiful area that can go from 20 below zero in the winter to 100 above (with humidity) in the summer. My wife and I call people who whine about hot and cold days “weather wimps.” We don’t even stop wearing shorts here until it gets around zero! 🙂
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