I’m taking a deep breath and am going to be real with you. This is a hard topic for me.
Over the course of a failed marriage, church falling outs, parenting issues, career changes and a whole gamut of unexpected life obstacles, I’ve tasted the joy and healing of healthy friendships – I’ve equally swallowed the searing sting of painful ones.
This blog comes from both a painful and joyful place.
But before I offer you words of wisdom in the friendship department, let me set the stage for my perspective.
I am a former pastor. I’ve listened to countless stories of people’s hurts in this area. I’ve written a book on forgiveness.
I’ve been through divorce. I’ve been kicked out of a church. I’ve experienced abuse. I’ve been gossiped about, betrayed – I’ve been judged, outcasted, un-friended, etc. simply because I took a stand for what I believed…
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See, there's this thing called biology... 
I really enjoyed this post. Well said and well done.
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From one of my mentors: The only ones/things that can let you down are those you lean on.
I believe the message of the Gospel is to change us – to change our minds and attitudes towards God.
author: “In this moment, Jesus didn’t shame. He didn’t condemn. He didn’t correct. He didn’t “fix” his friends into being better followers of him, or to be better ambassadors of his message.”
True, Christ Jesus doesn’t shame or condemn us… but He absolutely corrects us.
There’s another incident of the resurrected Christ Jesus on the road to Emmaus appearing to two of His disciples. This was His response to them:
And He said to them, “O foolish ones, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things and enter into His glory?” And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, He interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning Himself.
In the same manner – with the woman brought to Him on charges of adultery; He didn’t shame or condemn her, but He certainly corrected her.
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Truth! All true. 🙂
All in good humor, It is kind of ironic to correct and rebuke a woman who just wrote a blog post about friendship versus the downright obsessive tendency we Christians have to…. rebuke and correct people. Not all of us of course,some people are kind and truly reflect grace.
I have never encountered this kind of thing in real life on the ground, but I know of what she speaks from being on the internet. We Christians totally eat our own, literally beat people down. I kid you not, it is the ugliest thing I have ever seen, outright spiritual abuse. I would not have believed it if I hadn’t seen it, been on the receiving end of it. In my mind, Christians love and support one another, they don’t scream at people, call them heretics, or in the ultimate absurdity, claim they are revoking your salvation. It’s astounding, ugly, really opens your eyes to the nature of people.
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🙂 I agree.
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