Bit perturbed to find my blog on yet another “Christian doormat” list and referral. For those who don’t know, a Christian doormat is pretty much any Christian lady blogger who does not subscribe to pop culture feminism and supports traditional marriage. Extra credit points if you’ve ever mentioned the dreaded “S” word.
It’s actually a great honor to get on one of these lists, it means you’ve been uppity and stood for something. (The idea of an uppity doormat is a bit disturbing and likely to give me nightmares. Also a bit of an oxymoron, but never mind all that.)
However, it’s a harmful stereotype, a false narrative. It’s designed to convince people that faith in Jesus Christ is about oppressing women and advocating for female doormattery. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
It’s harmful for another reason too, it victim blames, it implies that women who are submissive in any way, invite abuse. Doormats, as in please wipe your feet on me. Someone could be lying across a doorway, but that does not justify, encourage, or excuse, abuse. (If you actually are lying across a doorway, you really need Jesus Christ because He heals, redeems, restores, and offers you a hand up.)
We have a terrible time in this country confusing “soft” with “weak”, or “submission” with “cowardice.” Or “asking for help,” with “selfishness.” Or, “domination” with “destruction.” I read a tragic suicide note the other day that combined all those elements. These shifting definitions and resulting societal chaos are taking a terrible toll on men. Depression and suicide rates have sky rocketed.
So, stereotypes of “Christian doormats” tend to drive men away from faith too, men who may really need a hand up. In general, men tend to object to the idea of being perceived as a doormat even more than I do, so less likely to ask for help when they really do need it, more resistant to being perceived as weak, more likely to confuse submission with cowardice. Submission in this context meaning, “I need help” or “I can’t do it alone.” That’s not cowardice, that’s bravery.
Faith actually takes courage, strength, boldness. It is not for the faint of heart (although it’s really good for reviving your heart when you do grow faint.)
Can’t fix all these false cultural narratives, nor can I help people to think critically. Heck, I can’t even control the lists I find my blog on. But I can tell you that Christians are not doormats, that faith does not demand you check your brains at the door, and that Truth is a person, not an ideology or a set of dictates.