The other day my husband told someone, “I’ve been faithfully married to the same woman for 26 years.” Made me laugh because actually it’s been longer than that. He is missing a few years.
Not quite sure what he was up to during those missing years of faithfulness…..
So proceeded a conversation where he asked how old I was. I did the math his way and came up with 47. I am not 47, but whatever. I was just trying to accommodate his missing years.
He doubted my age, on the account of the fact that he might be a cradle robber, but he is not that much of a cradle robber. He is almost 58, so if I am 47 that would be an eleven year age difference. “You can’t possibly be that young,” he says.
I sure can! What would he know? He’s only been faithful for 26 years!
Maths is hard, I’m telling you. To further cement our incompetency, I had to write an old-fashioned check the other day and could not remember the date to save my life. I had June on my brain and he was no help at all, because he was arguing over the year! “It’s 2017,” I said, “I got that part.” No, seriously we’re half way through 2017, I’m rather sure of it.
I suspect he is still living back in 2010. I have no idea why, I can hardly even remember what was going on in 2010.
Anyway, wishing to smooth things over, I told him that actually he’s been pretty darn faithful to 6 women. He has, a wife, 3 daughters, a mother and a mother in law. That’s actually a total of six women, by most people’s math. He’s looked after us all very well.
No wonder the poor guy is a dollar short and a day late! We have all totally fried his brain! I did not say that however, because I wanted him to just bask in the glow of a job well done….
I’ll say it now however, to my kids, be kind to your father, forgive him his foibles, and try to remember, you helped to make him that way. It certainly wasn’t me! Seriously, we’ve actually named gray hairs after each one of you. Dozens and dozens of gray hairs….
I jest a bit here, but in all seriousness, next week is our anniversary. Apparently we’re celebrating 26 years of faithfulness and I am also rapidly aging backwards, so this will be an epic celebration indeed, just good news all around.