Life is short?? I think we should go right on saying that to young people, because as many of us know there’s just something about being young that makes us believe we’re invincible, that we have all the time in the world. What ever it is, do it now, don’t delay, life is short…
This is especially true of women about my age, well perhaps just a wee bit younger. The other day I listened to a couple of women finishing their education, paying off their debt, getting established, getting their life together…. so they could get married and have kids. I so wanted to say, it ain’t happening! I’ve been on the planet for half a century and I’ve yet to “get my life together.” That’s a pipe dream! If you ever get your life together, that’s about the time it all starts falling apart anyway….
I buttoned my lip, reluctant to explain the harsh facts of life to some lovely women in their 40’s, but of course being a weak woman I cannot remain silent for long. There’s something tragic to me about women still going to school, still paying for an education they will never use, dreaming about getting married and having kids. I so wanted to speak the truth to them, see there’s this thing called biology, but I bit my tongue.
Life is short, biology is unforgiving, these things are all true, but it occurs to me that my mind set is all wrong, that for a Christian, life is actually eternal. Eternity is a long, long time. And time is not a linear thing as we perceive it, trapped within the constraints of our own biology. To everything there is a time and a season…. except for the One who actually created time and the seasons.
Needless to say, I don’t like death and dying, and when young people die it really hurts, because it wasn’t their time, because they were cut short, because there is so much more life I want them to live, and yet, life for a Christian is eternal. Those preconceived notions I have that cause me so much grief, are human ones, trapped in biological time, forgetting that we exist outside of time, that we are timeless, so to speak.
I recently chatted with a woman who lost her daughter at 8 yrs old, cancer, and the grief is just tangible, it’s physical, it just makes you ache all over, and yet she said the same thing, there’s something eternal about time, I know it, I can feel it, I can sense it. She’s gone but she’s not really gone. I love that mother’s intuition that just knows what it knows.
It’s really never too late with God and He is full of surprises. He can turn life upside down in a good way. He can take you places you never thought you would go, because you feared time had already passed you by.
Life is fleeting, but it occurs to me that I really need to cultivate a more eternal mindset, one that is not pressed for time, one that sees the hour glass as unlimited, as timeless. Somewhat funny, we were talking about retirement, hubby and I, knowing full well we will never retire, in fact, it would not surprise me in the least if I actually had to prepare lunch for my own funeral, but then I thought, what a blessing that would be, what a gift to still be well enough, to still have my wits about me right to the very end….
Somewhat funny but I promise you, on that very day I’ll still be trying to get my life together, as if such a thing could ever be a place you land on, somewhere you arrive.
lovelifeandgod said:
I enjoyed reading this. It is sad when you see women who are by all accounts too old to be having kids still try to fit in that marriage and family package after “taking care of their career.” My dad works with a man who’s trying to get his career daughter married at 40, and he didn’t have the heart to tell him it wasn’t happening. That’s why I’m foregoing the career –> family trajectory and would like to muddle it together and overlap it a bit. I want to get married while I’m still in my 20s, in school or out, and start a small family business of sorts with my future hubby. Then when we have kids they’ll be homeschooled by moi and I’ll need to give more time for them.
…Of course, that all depends on whether or not God doesn’t have other plans for me and flips my own little plan upside down and round and round. 🙂 And you’re right, time is eternal. It ultimately doesn’t really matter what we want (or think we want) to do in the here and now because God is preparing us for things in the next life at our own specific paces.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Well said, Ada! We were able to “muddle it all together” as you said, not quite something that went smoothly according to plan, but hubby did run a business from home, I got to homeschool each of the kids for a few years at a time at least, and than I often worked in the evenings too.
One fun thing about education is that it shouldn’t end, it’s kind of a life long learning thing, so I’ve been able to slip in a few classes here and there and the internet provides even more opportunities. So the kids and I were kind of all in school together at various times and they all learned how to answer the phone for customers and take messages.
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lovelifeandgod said:
That sounds lovely actually. It doesn’t sound easy but nothing is, and it sounds a lot better than most life “plans.” I think it’s an ideal model of business too because there’s nothing left out; you’ve got the family together while the kids are growing up and you’re also making a living and learning new things along the way. 🙂
I wonder, if this simple idea were more common in the Western world, then maybe more people would be happy. I know corporate jobs are really draining on a lot of people, taking them away from their families, and when you’re responsible for a nation-wide market that has so many more fluctuations and demands than the mom and pop shop down the street then you’re bound to be stressed. If everyone just loved God and focused on making their own little corner of the world better then imagine how much more content everyone would be.
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lizzylizabeth said:
I’m a bit worried about the comment that career woman over forty would not be getting married, ever. Is this a fixed truth, irreversible and just plainly set in society that it couldn’t possibly happen for older ladies to get married?
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insanitybytes22 said:
Oh, older ladies could certainly get married! I know some 70 yr olds who have married. I was only speaking of having biological children.
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lizzylizabeth said:
Okay 🙂 that clears that up for me. Thanks
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Julie (aka Cookie) said:
I will say that I think around 50 I finally may have matured at tad…at 57 I’m maybe a bit more steady…or maybe more free toward the “not giving a damn” school of thought about reality and sharing reality…but then again our society flat out doesn’t give a damn about much other than self…so the age continuum…well, it does continue…continues for some and is too short for others…never been a fan of death, dying or loss either IB—-areas God continues with the continuum in my soul…
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insanitybytes22 said:
Well said. There is something quite lovely about getting older, that “not caring part.” I had no idea how much I cared about the world and it’s opinions until one day I just didn’t. Ahhh, what a relief… 🙂
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Julie (aka Cookie) said:
☺️
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Wally Fry said:
At 45 I finally quit trying to get my life together. I just chucked it to God, and said, “Ok, God, I blew it. Your turn.”
Seems to be working.
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insanitybytes22 said:
Amen,Wally! Just hand your whole life over to God, He has a good plan for you! Of course I didn’t always do that either, but every time I have, He’s done a far better job then I ever could.
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Wally Fry said:
Ha..yeah, I don’t always do it either, but when I do it always works out better. Makes me much more chill too.
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dawnlizjones said:
Love this.
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Wally Fry said:
🙂
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atimetoshare.me said:
At almost three quarters of a century old, I realize more and more how important eternal life is. I still haven’t got it all together , but thankfully God does❤️
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Mel Wild said:
You could call this, “see there’s there’s this thing called eternity.”
Our kids were all out of the house before we turned 50, so my wife and I have chosen not to grow up when we grow up. 🙂
To quote the prophet, Bob Dylan, we “were so much older then, we’re younger than that now.”
Eternity is a lovely thing.
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Mel Wild said:
Ha…I shuddered… (there’s there’s)…okay, I am getting older. 🙂
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Mel Wild said:
And don’t give old people iPhones. You never know what they’re going to say… (stuttered, not shuddered, sheesh!…lol!)
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