From A Cry for Justice, “We Are Thankful for Lundy Bancroft — Just Don’t take Your Theology from Him”
I wish I could communicate with A Cry for Justice. I wish they too, did not perceive me as the enemy. Deaf ears seems to be a common theme for me this week.
So, I am a Christian woman, with a good amount of domestic violence and sexual assault training, once worked for a shelter even. I am not alone, there are hundreds of us. Here’s another one, https://hollytashley.com/restoration-recovery-redemption/.
So it is with some frustration that I note our Christian women often just bypass their sisters, dismiss our wisdom and experience, ignore pastors, and go seeking people like Lundy as their experts. No DV credentials, not even a Christian. Not to be indelicate, but there’s some real red flags there.
I’ve written about this before. Trust your instincts. When you feel compelled to make constant disclaimers like, ” …we do want to remind you that Lundy to our knowledge does not profess to be a Christian and in fact his spiritual beliefs are certainly not something we recommend,” something is speaking to you. There is doubt there. A vague unsettled feeling. The guy you turn to for healing should not have to come with constant warnings and disclaimers.
Barbara speaks of , “The irony…and the shame on the church. It’s ironic that a man who is not a Christian has helped countless Christian victims of abuse more than pastors have.”
Those are harsh and accusing words and I’m not sure how true they are. I’d say it’s really a mixed bag. Many pastors are very aware these days, wonderful resources for healing from abuse. Some are misinformed, unintentionally insensitive, and a few are just downright blind, but there is no grand conspiracy, no “evil, wicked abusers hiding in sheep’s wool” being protected and harbored by the church as a whole.
I share Barbara’s belief that “the church” as a Body, could be doing so much better. Here’s the difference however, I’ve observed it’s really the women who present the largest stumbling block, the biggest wall, not pastors. I have no idea why. In any given congregation you’ve got about 1 in four women and one in six boys intimately acquainted with abuse. You worship alongside people who work with these issues all week-long. You have survivors and people who have spiritually healed, within your very midst.
There’s your resource, there’s your expertise. A whole slew of us untapped, a wealth of information just waiting to be discovered. It makes a lot more sense to me to reach out to those you know, to those who are known, rather than an obscure book author hosting webiners.
Lundy always seems to set up this strange dichotomy, us against them. Pastors, the church, other Christian women, all your enemy. Shut them all out. Listen only to me. Separate, divide, control, isolate. Those people don’t love you, not like I do. Ironically, that’s one of the first signs of abuse.
Scripture is an amazing tool for healing, there are so many passages that promote exactly that. I would love to see people using scripture and theology in the right way too, in the correct context, and to find healing within those pages. That’s what our bible and our Lord has been doing for thousands of years.