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Somewhat amusing, this issue of being “worldly” came up several times last week, as in I stand accused of not being worldly. For the record I am so darn worldly, Jesus Christ has actually spent decades plucking those little worldly bits out of my soul, like one might pluck out the roots of a wart. It ain’t pretty, let me tell you.

Worldly means “experienced and sophisticated” or “concerned with material values or ordinary life rather than a spiritual existence.” It’s not that I don’t see the world, it’s that I know the world is a poor substitute for life and life abundant.

There’s a huge gap I’ve tried to bridge with all of my kids, “Mom, you just don’t understand, you don’t know how the real world works.” There’s nothing I can do but stand by helplessly thinking, kid, I’ve been on the planet for half a century. I’ve now survived 30 years longer than I ever expected to. I’m not trying to mislead you here, I’m just trying to pass along a little bit of “worldly” wisdom and experience.

They can only see their mom as they wish her to be, not as she really is in the world.

For an extra dose of lemon juice in my paper cut, my mother also believes I don’t live the real world, and yet it seems to be my otherworldly self that is providing all the worldly things that make their “real worlds,” possible. How in the world does that work?

“The world is just not your world,” they tell me. It’s somewhat tragic, but that is actually a good thing, that is actually the goal. Who has taught so many people that there is something intelligent, sophisticated, valuable, about deceiving yourself into pridefully declaring you’re part of an elite group, in possession of top-secret worldly truth?

Once we believe ourselves to be in possession of the keys to the kingdom, I guess world domination is right around the corner. But oh man, those are the wrong keys, and that’s the wrong kingdom! You cannot ever win the worldly game, because best case scenario… it ends in your death. And that’s the upside! From there on out, things are going to get considerably worse….

Somewhat funny, a girl last week said with some disgust on her face,  “You’re not very worldly are you? Do you even watch Game of Thrones?”

I’m going to need to get a bigger face palm. The one I’m using just can’t handle all the weight. Who knew the real world is actually lurking somewhere on my TV set?